


Stuck With You

by alittlepieceofgundamwing_archivist



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Dacia Favourite, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Trowa Barton, Preventers (Gundam Wing), Sappy, Yaoi, attempted 2x4, attempted 2x5, by Aoe, i hope you know what the numbers mean, implied future 1x6, past 1x2, past 3x4, so good!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 10:52:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 54,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13545834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlepieceofgundamwing_archivist/pseuds/alittlepieceofgundamwing_archivist
Summary: by AoeA tale of friendship, office romance, growing apart, growing together, and growing up...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Dacia: I originally used an alternate font to demarcate Trowa's journal entries, but I can't do that here. *pulls hair out* So I'm just setting his entries in bold since there are already parts of the fic in italics. >_< I hope you all appreciate how much of a pain this was, lol.
> 
> Other Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/5/204

***~*~*~*~***

**I hate my life.**

**All right, so maybe that’s an exaggeration. It’s not like I spend every waking moment wallowing in despair and longing for death. Not recently, anyway. And I guess if you really put me on the spot, I wouldn’t be able to pin down much of anything that’s really horrible about my current situation. So maybe "hate" is too strong a word. Maybe I’m just vaguely dissatisfied.**

**Hmm. Seems too mild, somehow. Well, let’s see if I can’t come up with a few items for that list after all.**

**Okay, first off, I work with my best friends. Why does that suck? My best friends are weird. Weird in what way? Various unique ways. We’re all very different people, you see, which is the whole problem. If we’d all just met on the street last Tuesday, we wouldn’t have become friends. We probably wouldn’t really like one another too much. A couple of us might seriously consider shooting others of us. But of course, we’ve been friends for a long time. A very long time. Since we were kids, I guess, if any of us ever were kids. Most people don’t keep many of the friends they make at fifteen past their college years, but... well, we never had college years. We all tested out. We went right to work, like grown-ups, at the tender age of seventeen. That may have been a big mistake.**

**So, since we never separated, we never had the opportunity to meet new people and grow apart. Not that we haven’t grown apart, but with things the way they are, there’s nothing we can do to break our little circle. As one of my friends once said, it’s like this old song he knew: "We are bound by all the rest... Got the same phone numbers, all the same friends, and the same address... " Well, that’s not entirely accurate, thank God. If I couldn’t go home at night to the blessed solitude of my two-room apartment, I think I’d whip out a machine gun in the middle of Preventer Headquarters and start blasting. But we are all kind of stuck with each other by now. If only because no one outside our freakish little group could possibly understand us anymore.**

**Oh yeah, Preventer Headquarters... that’s where we work. Under the benign, if occasionally cranky, command of one of our worst former enemies. I like Une, though. And don’t think that doesn’t get me some funny looks around the water cooler.**

**Speaking of which, I can faintly hear Arabic cursing from that direction. Apparently Quatre has discovered that Wufei drained the tank just twelve minutes ago. It’s Sunday, so that means no water until Monday. Boo-hoo. The poor little gazillionaire will have to spring for a soda from the machine.**

**Hmm... not too bitter, am I?**

**Yeah, so I guess Quatre deserves his own special place on my list, since he’s more than a friend. Or he was. Anyway, you recall how I was saying people don’t generally hang onto the friends they make at fifteen? Well, the same is true for significant others. No matter how sincerely you pledge your eternal devotion to someone at that age, it’s just not likely to last. Teenagers think they know everything, and yeah, we might have been quite mature for our ages, but still... You can’t say you’ve met the perfect mate at fifteen because you don’t even know yourself well enough yet to know what you want. At fifteen, the perfect mate is anybody who likes the same band as you and shares your views on sex. By twenty-four, your criteria change a bit.**

**But anyway, Quatre... I would call our breakup messy, but in comparison to Heero and Duo, we were quite civilized. Yes, I was pissed off and hurt, and I could have done without the condescending pat on the head and pitying expression, but I managed to restrain myself to only one screaming fight in the middle of the office. Heero and Duo...**

**But I don’t really want to think about Heero and Duo right now.**

**Hmm... so far I have being stuck with my weird friends as my only social circle, and the irritating end of my relationship with Quatre. Never get involved with a strategist. They will figure out it’s over just a little bit faster than you, and beat you to the dumping. Bastards.**

**So what else sucks about my life?**

**Let me ponder that one a moment...**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa leaned back in his chair, glancing at the open file on his monitor screen, reviewing what he’d just written. He glanced around the rest of the office at his coworkers.

Sunday meant there was just a skeleton crew on here at the "Stationhouse", as they called it amongst themselves. The large main room with it’s many desks and lack of walls did resemble the squad room of a police station. Most of the desks were empty at the moment, monitor screens black. Quatre was kicking the water cooler. Wufei was watching him with a smirk, sipping slowly at his coffee mug of water. Heero was meticulously cleaning his gun. Maggie Shapiro, a former Oz corporal, was updating data files in a far corner, and Ken Nasir, a young agent who was Quatre’s personal assistant in all but name, was dutifully updating the blond agent’s files for him.

Trowa watched in mixed amusement and annoyance as the Arabian strode back to his desk and sent the younger man off to buy him a soda. Ken hesitated a moment, apparently contemplating asking Quatre for the money, but one impatiently raised brow sent the younger man scurrying. Quatre slumped in his chair and scowled around the room.

"What kind of a cheap operation runs out of water?" the blond demanded irritably. Heero glanced briefly at Quatre, not turning his head, then immediately returned his attention to his gun. Trowa snorted softly at Quatre accusing anyone else of being cheap. Ever since he’d signed Winner Enterprises over to his sisters in a youthful burst of idealism about earning his own way in the world, the blond had become notoriously tight. Trowa wondered in a moment of whimsy if he’d have been happier in their relationship if Quatre had still been rich.

Probably not.

Wufei smirked at Quatre and ostentatiously slurped his water. Quatre stuck his tongue out at the Chinese man.

"Don’t stick it out if you’re not intending to use it," Heero warned the blond flatly.

"That’s the rule for drawing a weapon, Yuy," Wufei argued.

Heero shrugged. "Same difference," he declared. Wufei rolled his eyes. Quatre stuck his tongue out at Heero, earning a glare of warning. Trowa shook his head and sighed.

After that little interlude, Ken returned with Quatre’s soda, and they all went back to pretending to be productive for a while. Trowa scrolled up and down the brief segment of whining he’d typed out earlier, wondering if he should continue. It was sort of cathartic, in much the same way probing at a wound was. Sure, it hurt, and you ran the risk of causing a lingering, painful infection, but there was a kind of satisfaction in bringing the pain back. At least you knew you were in control of it.

Trowa leaned back again and glanced over at the desk three down and one row to the right of his own. The desk was empty, the monitor blank, like most in the office. Unlike most, this desk had no files or sticky notes strewn across it. It was clear of all work, neat and tidy, and that was the last thing it should have been. Trowa sighed, green eyes flicking over the miniature army of cheap action figures arrayed in neat ranks. They should have been scattered all over the desktop, in random obscene poses, but of course Heero had been the one to straighten the desk, and Heero didn’t approve of such things. All the other assorted knick-knacks that lived on the abandoned desk were crammed into the deep bottom drawer, taking the place of the vodka bottle that had once constantly resided there.

Trowa wished Heero hadn’t cleaned the desk up. It just didn’t look right. He’d liked it all cluttered and messy. Sure, it had been distracting and unprofessional, but sometimes they all needed to be distracted.

Now, the desk was still distracting, but only because of the unsettling memories it’s spotless, orderly surface brought to mind. Trowa sighed and turned back to his screen, and began typing again.

***~*~*~*~***

**Duo and Heero’s breakup. I didn’t want to talk about this before, but now it’s on my mind, and the alternative is updating my files.**

**Duo...**

**I guess I should have realized sooner that something was wrong. We all should have, really. I mean, we were supposed to be his friends, right? And you’re supposed to notice that sort of thing about your friends. Maybe we weren’t very good friends. See earlier exposition.**

**Anyway, by the time any of us noticed there was a problem, he was already up to half a bottle of vodka a day, and that was just what we could see at work. Heero refused to speak about their private life, but we all got the impression that Duo didn’t stop drinking when he got home at night.**

**We should have tried to talk to him about it, I guess. But Heero can be so... himself. I don’t know, he’s just so possessive. He didn’t want any of us talking to Duo about his problems, he said he’d take care of it. After all, Duo was HIS lover.**

**We should definitely have known better than to let that stand.**

**But I guess none of us really wanted the responsibility. Duo is a great guy for hanging out with, laughing, having fun, but he’s not so much fun when he’s serious. Duo was our good time guy, the one who organized the parties and the weekly outings. He was the only one of us who socialized with our coworkers at all, and the only one of us that any of our coworkers liked, probably for that reason. I asked one of his other friends, after the whole mess was over, why none of them had approached Duo about his problem. The guy just looked at me funny, kind of pitying and angry at the same time, and said that they didn’t think they needed to talk to him. That surely, with the five of us being so very close, we must have been doing everything possible to help him...**

**He was nice about it, that guy. He didn’t make me admit that we didn’t do a damn thing, he just walked away while I hung my head in shame.**

**Well, okay, so we did do one thing.**

**I did one thing.**

**Only it was probably the wrong thing. Probably the worst thing I could have done.**

**I told Une.**

**God, the look in his eyes when he came out of her office. I couldn’t tell if he wanted to cry or kill me. I don’t think he knew himself. I broke the cardinal rule of our little group. Never rat out one of our own to outsiders. But what else could I do?**

**Heero was pissed at me because I took the situation out of his control. Quatre was pissed at me because I took action without consulting him. Wufei, I think, was pissed because he wanted to see a big dramatic confrontation.**

**Well, he got his wish eventually.**

**Une was discreet, but thorough, as always. No big, office-wide stink was made about the problem, but Duo was told in confidence that if he showed up to work drunk, or was drunk at the end of his shift, he would be suspended from duty indefinitely. And she came up with a wonderful plan to ensure his sobriety. Breathalyzer tests, when he came in, and before he left.**

**And guess who the lucky guy that got to administer them was.**

**On the positive side, I learned a lot of new cuss words.**

**I guess, looking back, I set myself up for that. Since I was the one to bring up the problem, I might as well have volunteered myself for teetotaler duty. Obviously I could be trusted to be honest about Duo’s condition, since I’d ratted him out in the first place.**

**I fudged a little at first, feeling guilty for getting him in trouble, but after a week I told him that blood alcohol below the legal limit was not going to cut it. I’d turned him in once, and I’d do it again. Oh, did that get me a glare of hatred. He must have picked that up from Heero. It looked so out of place on his normally smiling face. But the next day he showed up completely sober, and every day after. He really has amazing willpower when he chooses to apply it.**

**But even though he wasn’t drunk on the job anymore, he was still falling apart right in front of our eyes. Or maybe behind our backs, because we just... didn’t see it, somehow.**

**It was about this time that we all started to notice the tension between Duo and Heero. I don’t know how long it had been building, but suddenly people were unconsciously skirting around the area of the room that held their desks. The unfortunate souls whose desks were located near or between the two spent a lot of time in the bathroom and at the water cooler. I’m not sure which was worse, when they were utterly silent and focused on their work, shooting each other occasional angry glares, or when that simmering fury erupted into shouting matches where they would flay one another with the most vicious personal insults they could think of. It got really nasty sometimes, especially since they’d been together for so long. Heero knew way more about Duo than any of the rest of us, and he dredged up every painful confession and used it for ammunition. Duo was doomed to lose in that competition from the beginning, because Heero just didn’t care that much about having his secrets aired. He didn’t have that many to begin with.**

**But then one day, it was just too much, I guess. I don’t even remember what it was that Heero said, but I remember the look in Duo’s eyes as he said it. That brave, flickering flame of spirit that a childhood on the streets and an adolescence as a murdering terrorist had not managed to extinguish, Heero finally crushed out with his coldness and scorn. And I remember thinking in horror that I had done nothing. I had sat and watched, for weeks, as that flame grew weaker and weaker. I never tried to rebuild it. Never tried to fan it back to life.**

**I was his friend. But I did nothing.**

**He went to Une’s office, and he was only in there about five minutes before she called me in over the intercom. I tried to be casual about it, but nobody was really even making a pretense of paying attention to their work at that point.**

**I stepped into her office, and he was standing with his back to the door, leaning against the windows. Une was seated at her desk, fingers laced beneath her chin, giving me the sort of look that probably used to make Oz recruits pee their pants. She said only, "Please escort Agent Maxwell to his car."**

**She has a way of saying several things with just a few words. Duo was Agent Maxwell, so he hadn’t up and quit. I was only to escort him to his car, so she didn’t think he needed babysitting. But she’d picked me for the job. Not Quatre, the sensitive one. Me, the quiet, repressed, follow orders guy. So maybe she wasn’t thrilled with him.**

**We took the other exit from her office, to avoid the main office. The halls were mostly empty, except for a few clerks scuttling around. We stopped at payroll, and he picked up a three-month advance on his salary. I raised an eyebrow at that.**

**He didn’t look at me, but somehow he knew. "Une authorized it. I’m taking a leave of absence. I need... I just need to get away for a while, I guess," he explained quietly.**

**It embarrasses me to admit that when I looked at him then, it was the first time I’d really noticed how pale he’d gotten, the dark circles under his eyes. He’d lost weight, and he never had any to lose. His clothes hung off him, the sleeve cuffs gapping around fragile-looking wrists.**

**He has big hands. He should have been taller, but childhood malnutrition and the life he’s led cut him off at five foot eight. Not too short, but not impressive for a guy. Especially since he has this delicate bone structure.**

**Um, yeah. So where was I? Oh yes, fragile wrists. I could see the veins on the back of his hands. And his hair had gone limp and lost its shine... That looks silly typed out, but it’s true. He looked bad. He looked tired and worn, and I felt really guilty that I hadn’t noticed him changing from the vibrant, happy person he had been into this shriveled, beat-up shell.**

**I guess I stared too long, because he gave me this exasperated, nervous look and said, "Jeez, don’t look at me like that, man. Is it really that bad?"**

**I tried to answer, I really did. I tried to tell acomforting lie. I ended up doing a goldfish impersonation. Open mouth, close mouth, open mouth, close mouth. He just gave me this kind of tired smile and shook his head. "Ask a stupid question," he muttered.**

**He collected his pay and we walked on to the garage. His car was this ancient clunker that he spent most of his days off tinkering with just to keep it running. It was sort of his hobby. Heero hated it. He had his own sensible little compact car.**

**Duo jiggled the key in the lock, trying to get it to open without benefit of the lockpicks he still carried. It didn’t always work. I stood there feeling ineffectual and nervous, and wondering if I should leave now that he was at his car. But I stayed. And I finally managed to speak.**

**"I’m sorry," was my fascinating remark. He looked up from the door, raising a brow at me.**

**"For what?" he asked. I just shrugged and looked at my feet. He sighed and the key finally turned in the lock. He got in the car and after a few tries the engine roared to life. I stepped back to give him room to pull out of the space, which he did. I was just about to turn and leave the garage when he rolled the window down andstuck his head out, looking up at me. I couldn’t read his eyes. I never could, really. You never really know what Duo’s thinking. If you’re Heero, you think you know, but you’re usually wrong.**

**So he just looked at me a minute, and I looked back. Then he kind of half grinned and asked me, "We’re cool, right?"**

**For a moment I tried to figure out what he was asking, but then I realized that whatever he meant, the answer was, "Yes," I said, and attempted a grin of my own.**

**That seemed to please him. Anyway, he relaxed a little, and nodded at me. Then he pulled his head into the car and drove off.**

**I, like an idiot, stood there for about half an hour, still trying to figure out in exactly what way Duo and I were "cool."**

**That was almost seven months ago.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa sat back with a sigh, staring at the words on his screen. How could the whole miserable story fit into so few words?

It didn’t, of course. He’d only typed up a brief overview of the events, just grazed the surface. He didn’t like to dwell on that time. It hadn’t been pleasant for anyone.

Trowa glanced around the office, and noticed that Maggie was gone from the corner and Quatre, Wufei and Ken were pulling their coats on. Heero was busily separating files into piles, his normal ritual before knocking off for the day. Trowa glanced at the clock and was surprised to see it was a quarter to six. The next shift would be coming on soon.

He checked his coworkers’ desks. Ken had made a small dent in Quatre’s files, but had probably spent most of the day running errands for the blond. Wufei’s piles had been moved and shuffled. He’d been "reprioritizing." Heero now had a sizable stack of files to take home and work on, but Trowa could tell from the number that the Japanese man hadn’t accomplished anything today either.

"Your tax dollars at work," Trowa murmured to himself, smirking slightly. The day had needed only Duo playing desk basketball with memos from the personnel department.

His smirk faded at the thought of the absent American. Duo had been much on his mind lately, which was odd after so long with no contact. But Christmas was approaching, and he always associated the holiday with Duo.

 _Maybe he’ll be back before..._ Trowa shook his head slightly, dislodging the thought before it could take root. Nobody knew where Duo was or what he was doing. Une still had him on the payroll, but she refused to give any information on his location or when, or if, he would be returning.

Trowa shrugged into his coat and strolled over to Duo’s empty desk to perform his own little ritual. He picked up the little quote-a-day calendar, now growing quite thin, and ripped off Sunday, December 5th. He read the little sheet.

_"Everyday it’s the same old thing... breathe, breathe, breathe."_

Duo would like that one, he decided. He slid the top drawer open and added it to the pile of quotes he’d saved. He set the calendar back on the desk, deliberately placing it to the side and at a different angle from its original position.

Heero stepped up beside him and muttered, "Why do you bother? If he comes back, he can pull them off himself. If he doesn’t, who cares?" The Japanese man reached out as he spoke and repositioned the calendar exactly where it had been before Trowa picked it up.

Trowa looked down into Heero’s pretty, frowning face, the expression of half confusion, half irritation a familiar one. He tried to phrase an answer, then just shrugged. He couldn’t quite explain why he did it. He just thought Duo would like to know, if he came back, that he hadn’t been completely forgotten.

Heero snorted in irritation and turned away, leaving Trowa alone. Trowa watched the Japanese man leave the room. When the door shut behind Heero, he moved the calendar again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> text in bold = Trowa's journal
> 
> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/6/204

***~*~*~*~***

**So here I am, early to work again. I need a life.**

**The last shift is just shuffling out the door. Wufei is here, too, but Wufei needs a life more than I do. Heero will be here at eight on the dot. Quatre will show up fifteen minutes late, flustered and frowning, with a tale of woe of the Hardworking Young Man. Only Ken will be impressed.**

**I think Ken wants to screw him.**

**There was a time that would have made me jealous. But I guess things change. Even me.**

**So... Monday. What to do today? Maybe I'll get lucky and there will be an actual case to work on.**

**Not likely. Nobody really does anything on Mondays. Everybody always gets themselves all worked up on Sundays, "Oh, tomorrow I'll get an early start and I'll get so much done... " But then it's Monday and nobody wants to do anything because it's Monday. You have all week, after all.**

**Sigh. Even writing in this little journal thingy of mine is getting boring. Maybe I'll pretend to be productive for a while. Shuffle some folders around. Don't want to burn myself out on typing too early in the day.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa shut down the word file, glancing around the room for something interesting.

Quatre came through the office doors, a dark scowl on his face, his pale cheeks flushed with irritation and cold. He slammed his coat down like he wanted someone to listen to him bitch.

Trowa smirked as Ken picked up the cue and hurried over with a mug of tea.

_Yup, he definitely wants to screw Quatre._

"Somebody parked a motorcycle in my parking space!" Quatre complained loudly. This remark earned him a few irritated glances from various coworkers.

Wufei sneered and reminded him, "We don't have reserved parking spaces, Winner."

Quatre glowered at the Chinese man, who was leaning back in his chair unabashedly squeezing away at a hand exerciser. Wufei was the sort of person who could blatantly not do work and never receive any comments about it.

"Someone is parked in the space that I always park in," Quatre corrected himself coldly.

Wufei shrugged. "So? Maybe if you got here on time, the spot would have been open."

Quatre's cheeks went a few shades darker as he prepared to share his daily trials and tribulations with the Chinese man.

Just as the Arabian was about to begin his diatribe, though, the door to Une's office opened and a man walked into the main office.

A momentary hush fell over the room, and Trowa got the odd impression that some sort of soundtrack with a heavy techno beat should have picked up at that instant.

The new arrival certainly looked like the sort of person who had his own personal soundtrack. Trowa felt heat rising in his cheeks at the sight. He wasn't usually the sort to be turned on by just the physical, but everybody had hormones, and from the looks of several of his coworkers, Trowa wasn't the only person in the room having shamelessly perverted thoughts at the moment. Trowa felt a strong sense of unity with the other agents present, and he imagined he could almost hear the mental echo of the thought they were all sharing for an instant: **_Damn_** _, this guy is hot!_

The man wore tight faded jeans that clung to firmly muscled yet slender legs, and a white tee shirt neatly tucked into the jeans. The tee shirt had writing on it, but Trowa couldn't read it beneath the black leather jacket the man wore. The jacket was cut like a suit jacket, complete with buttons, but hung open. A black motorcycle helmet with a cross of white reflective tape on the side dangled from one hand, the other in his jacket pocket. He wore dark sunglasses, and gold-shot light brown bangs dangled in front of the lenses. His hair was worn in a short, slightly shaggy cut. It was similar to Heero's, but a little longer and looking more artfully tousled than perpetually mussy. The blond streaks were either artificial, or the result of a lot of time in the sun. Considering the nicely bronzed tone of the man's skin, Trowa was guessing it was the latter. The guy stood out like a sore thumb in the sea of pasty white flesh in the office. Completing the rebel-without-a-cause ensemble was the cocky, crooked grin on the man's face.

Everyone stopped pretending to work for a moment to watch him walk purposefully and confidently through the room.

He set his helmet down with a thump on Duo's desk.

Trowa immediately sat forward in his seat, frowning. Wufei's exerciser dropped to his desktop with a thud. Quatre glowered. Heero looked up from his work with a frigid glare.

"That desk is taken," Heero informed the man flatly.

Dark glasses turned to smirk at the Japanese man, ignoring the vicious look. He was either very confident or very stupid. He dropped into Duo's chair and swung his feet up on the desk, revealing steel-toed black boots. "S'right," he drawled. "By me."

Heero rose slowly from his seat, cold menace almost radiating from him. "Maybe you didn't hear me," he growled.

The guy frowned, setting his feet on the floor and leaning toward Heero. He pulled off the sunglasses and hooked them in the collar of his shirt.

Trowa blinked in surprise. Heero froze, blue eyes widening.

Duo glowered at Heero with narrowed violet eyes and snapped, "I heard you just fine. But it's my goddamn desk, so piss off and mind your own beeswax."

Heero stared at Duo in amazement. "B-beeswax?" he muttered in confusion.

Duo smirked at him and turned to Wufei who had just stepped up beside his desk. Wufei leaned over, resting a hand on the back of Duo's chair and smiling suavely as he commented, "Welcome back, Maxwell."

Trowa frowned slightly at the odd tone in Wufei's voice. His frown deepened as the Chinese man continued to hover close to Duo.

"Something I can help you with, Wu?" Duo asked pointedly, leaning back in his chair to increase the distance between them. Heero, Trowa noted, was scowling angrily again. Wufei smirked and leaned closer.

"Not really. You just look so... different. Without the braid," the Chinese man remarked.

Duo smirked right back at him. _And did it better, too_ , Trowa thought. "Yeah, well... I thought it was time for a change," Duo explained, running a hand through his short hair.

"Duo! It's so good to see you again! How have you been?" Quatre broke in, all solicitous concern, and surreptitiously bumped Wufei away from Duo with his hip. Wufei shot the blond a dirty look, but retreated to his own desk, which was only one row over from Duo anyway.

Duo smiled up at Quatre and the two engaged in the sort of babbling conversation two talkative friends who haven't seen one another in a while generally have when meeting. Trowa tuned it out and studied Duo more closely.

He looked good. Of course, Duo had always looked good, except for that unhappy time just before he'd left for parts unknown. But Duo had always had a sort of childish cuteness to his look that was very misleading. He wasn't childish, and he wasn't really cute either.

Not that he wasn't attractive, because he certainly was that. But "cute" had ceased to cover Duo's appearance around age eighteen. His cheeks had lost their childish roundness, revealing a firm jaw and strong chin. Heero's features still retained their youthful delicacy, and next to him, despite his sparkling eyes and lustrous hair, Duo had paled in comparison. With the new haircut, though, Trowa decided that it wasn't that Duo was less attractive than Heero, just attractive in a different way. Heero was beautiful, with his exotic, delicate features, but Duo was handsome. His features were still somewhat sharp, but they had acquired stronger, more masculine lines over the years. You just couldn't see it under all that hair.

You could see it now, though.

Everybody could see it now.

Trowa glanced around the room, noting the many covert and not-so-covert stares Duo was getting. He looked back to Duo and something in the tilt of the man's lips, in the casual grace of his posture, told Trowa Duo was just as aware of the attention he was getting.

And he liked it.

Trowa looked over at Heero.

_Ooh, not good._

He quickly turned back to his computer screen.

Heero didn't like all those people looking at Duo like that.

Heero didn't like it one bit.

***~*~*~*~***

**I feel like writing something along the lines of "Dear Diary, Oooh! The hottest guy just walked in! I wonder if he has a boyfriend?"**

**But that would be childish.**

**Besides, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a boyfriend.**

**I believe the expression is "Bonus!"**

**But Heero does not look happy. He's blanketed the area around Duo's desk with his harshest death glare. Quatre, of course, is ignoring it completely, still chatting with Duo.**

**Quatre will do anything to avoid work.**

**Not that I can blame him this time though. I'd really like to go over myself. It seems so strange, after I was thinking so much about Duo yesterday, that he just showed up today. It's almost like my thoughts summoned him. Think of the Devil and he shall come? I think it's supposed to be speak, but...**

**Wufei is still staring. He's got this almost slimy grin on his face. It reminds me a bit of Treize Khushrenada, somehow. There's still that air of dignified reserve, but with this strange undertone of used car salesman to it.**

**I wonder what he's thinking.**

**On second thought, I bet I can guess. Pig. Poor Duo's been gone for months, who-knows-where, doing God-knows-what, and he finally comes back to have Wufei licking his lips over him...**

**Okay. Thinking soothing thoughts.**

**Better.**

**Heero's still glaring, and Wufei's still smarming, and Quatre's still chatting.**

**Left to his own devices, Quatre will chat all day.**

**I want to say hello.**

**But Quatre's still chatting.**

**I'll wait a few minutes.**

**Duo may look different, but he seems no more inclined to work than ever. It's been ten minutes, and they're STILL CHATTING.**

**Of course, Duo doesn't have any files yet.**

**Okay, guys... twenty-five minutes now...**

**Screw this.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa stood up from his seat and strode purposefully over to Duo's desk, ignoring Heero's glare and Wufei's speculative frown. Quatre glanced at him in annoyance when Duo greeted him with a smile, turning away from the blond.

"Duo... welcome back," Trowa managed hesitantly. He tried for a smile.

Duo's smile widened in return, and Trowa was momentarily dazzled. He was definitely fond of this new haircut.

"Thanks, Tro," Duo said cheerfully. "What've you been up to while I was away? Still wanted for public lewdness?"

Trowa blinked in surprise at the odd question. "No... uh, I mean, I... " He frowned as Duo laughed delightedly at having caught him with the old joke.

"Well, I guess I should be getting back to work," Quatre declared pointedly, shooting Trowa a look to make sure he got the message that _he_ was the one who really ought to be getting back to work. Trowa frowned at the blond.

"Okay, talk to you later, Q," Duo agreed brightly, waving at the Arabian in dismissal. "Now, _you_ ," Duo continued, turning to Trowa, "help me fix my desk. Some loser messed up all my toys," he complained, shooting a pointed glance in the "loser's" direction. Heero frowned darkly in reply. Duo flipped him the bird.

Trowa blinked in surprise at the exchange, then found himself being loaded down with small stuffed animals and dolls and picture frames as Duo dug his desk paraphernalia out of his bottom drawer.

"Cute... cute... tacky but I love it... ooh, I missed this one!... gah, I still have _this_?" Duo straightened from his excavation, scowling at a small stuffed teddy bear. It was blue and held a little heart-shaped pillow in its hands. With a small noise of disgust, Duo set it on the far edge of his desk and proceeded to ignore it, turning and starting to grab knick-knacks from Trowa's arms.

Trowa, stuck holding Duo's tacky desk ornaments, took the opportunity to observe Heero's expression.

Heero continued to scowl, although the focus of his dark look now seemed to be the discarded bear. Trowa quite clearly remembered the bear. Heero had bought it on his lunch break one day when Duo had ingenuously asked what Heero had gotten him for their anniversary. Trowa remembered it because after Heero had given Duo the bear, Duo had blushed and admitted that it had just been a joke. It wasn't their anniversary at all. Everybody had laughed, except Heero, who had just scowled at the American, irritated to have wasted his time for no reason. Then they'd all gone back to their desks, and only Trowa had lingered long enough to hear Duo murmur to himself, "Well, at least he cared enough to go buy a present. Even if he doesn't really know or care when our anniversary is. He bought me a present. That's something, right?"

The little blue bear had always had a prominent place in Duo's ever-changing desk habitat. Trowa stared at it curiously as Duo went about rearranging his belongings, ignoring the bear completely.

Finally, when all the pictures were arranged in some private hierarchy of affection, and all the action figures were indecently groping one another with kung fu grips, Duo sat back with satisfaction.

Then he picked up the bear and turned to the trashcan.

And hesitated.

Trowa glanced around the room. Heero was staring intently at Duo and the bear. Wufei was slowly squeezing his exerciser, watching from the corner of his eyes. Quatre was pretending to be looking over Duo's head at the case board on the far wall. A few other agents with nothing better to do were looking on with varying levels of discretion and interest.

Duo rubbed the little bear's head gently with one index finger.

Suddenly, the American spun his chair around and held the bear out to Trowa with a wide smile. "Here, Trowa! Have a beary nice day!" Duo ordered him cheerfully.

Trowa stared at the bear with a sort of horrified fascination.

 _It's entirely possible that Heero will actually shoot me if I touch it_ , he thought to himself. But there was something about the way Duo was looking at him... exasperated and nervous... it reminded Trowa of the last time he'd seen the other man...

He took the bear. Duo flashed him a relieved grin as he nestled it in the crook of his arm. "I'll take good care of him," he promised solemnly. Duo laughed at that, and some of the tension drained from his shoulders. He looked up at Trowa, violet eyes bright and warm in his tanned face, white teeth flashing in a dazzling smile...

Trowa couldn't think of a damned thing to say.

"Uh... well. I should... get back to work," he finally muttered, kicking himself mentally.

Duo just shrugged and spun away from him, booting up his computer. "You gotta do what you gotta do," Duo remarked placidly.

"Right," Trowa agreed superfluously, watching as Duo's wallpaper appeared on the screen. "So I'll just be going then," he added. Duo glanced over his shoulder, smiling slightly.

"Free for lunch?" the American asked after a moment of silent staring.

"Uh... yes," Trowa replied.

"Pizza?"

"Sounds great," Trowa managed to agree.

Duo nodded in acknowledgment. "Cool. I'll stop by your place," he declared, with a jerk of his head in the direction of Trowa's desk.

Taking that as a dismissal, Trowa turned and walked back to his area. He sat down at his desk, and then realized that Heero was attempting to fry him with a glare. It took him a moment to remember the stuffed bear cradled in his arms.

 _Oh, shit. Thanks a lot, Duo_ , he thought, but even in his mind the complaint was half-hearted. With a resigned sigh, he set the bear carefully beside his monitor, between his two pictures. One was of Catherine and the lions, one was of himself and the other four pilots just after their victory in the Mariemaya incident. Heero had been woozy enough that even he was smiling.

Duo's smile looked slightly strained. Trowa remembered that day, and the "fight" Heero and Duo had had up on the colony. In Heero's unique way, Trowa supposed the Japanese boy was being sweet, trying to protect Duo. But Trowa remembered the look on Duo's face when Heero's fist hit. Duo, despite his blustering, had pulled his punch. Heero, quite obviously, had not.

_He didn't have to hit Duo that hard. Duo always had a glass gut. I saw that bruise..._

Trowa frowned, shaking his head to dislodge the memories and the strange, bitter anger they evoked. He hadn't thought about that incident in years. Why should it bother him now?

Maybe because Heero was obviously considering beating on Trowa next. And he didn't look in the mood to pull his punches now either.

Trowa sighed and opened his word file.

***~*~*~*~***

**Duo gave me Heero's bear.**

**All right, so technically it's Duo's bear, since Heero gave it to him. But it's weird, to be given something I know was a gift from somebody else.**

**So why did he give it to me?**

**I thought he was going to pitch it. But then he got all wistful... I guess he couldn't just throw it away. But why did he have to give it to me? Is it just because I was there? Would he have given it to Quatre if he hadn't left?**

**Why do I want the answer to that to be no?**

**And am I going to have to eat anchovy pizza for lunch?**

**Do I care as long as I get to watch Duo eat anchovy pizza?**

**Aargh! Why am I acting like a horny teenager all of a sudden? Sure, Duo's hot, but Duo's always been hot, and I never cared before. He's my friend. JUST my friend. I've already done the dating-other-pilots thing, and it sucked. I don't need that again. All our relationships are too tangled up for any of us to try to have anything private.**

**Damn it.**

**God, I can't believe I just typed all of that. Hormones must be frying my brain cells. Or maybe it's Heero's dirty look.**

**I didn't ask for the damn bear, Yuy!**

**Jerk.**

**Somehow I don't think any of us are going to get a lot of work done today.**

***~*~*~*~***

"I'm _really_ sorry."

Trowa sighed wearily at the apology and carefully peeled another anchovy slice off his pizza. "I told you, it's fine. See? I can pull them right off."

Duo frowned in disbelief. "Yeah, but you shouldn't have to... Why didn't you just tell me you didn't want anchovies?"

Trowa shrugged, frowning slightly in concentration as he peeled nasty brown fish slices off the melted cheese. If you pulled very carefully, you could get them off in one piece. If they fell apart, you ended up poking at your pizza for half an hour to get it all off. "It's your welcome back lunch. You should get what you want," Trowa murmured distractedly, intent on the anchovies.

"I got that when you agreed to come with me," Duo said. Trowa glanced up in surprise to find the American watching him with his chin in one hand and a whimsical grin on his face.

"Why wouldn't I have?" Trowa asked in confusion.

Duo shrugged and reached over to snag the pile of removed anchovies from Trowa's plate. "I don't know. I wasn't sure what you guys thought of me these days," he remarked lightly, his eyes fixed on his pizza as he arranged the extra anchovies with very un-Duo-like care.

Trowa dropped the last anchovy on Duo's plate. The American looked up at him, and he met the nervous violet eyes with a placid emerald gaze. "Sometimes you think silly things," he informed Duo calmly. Duo blinked at him in surprise, then grinned again.

"Yeah," he agreed, lifting his pizza and taking a big bite. Trowa's lips quirked slightly as he picked up his own slice and took a more conservative bite. Duo chewed the pizza like a man tasting ambrosia for the first time. But he still managed to swallow before Trowa.

Duo flashed his widest grin at his lunch companion. Trowa, still chewing, raised a wary eyebrow. When Duo wore that grin it generally meant some sort of trouble for somebody...

"So... shall we discuss my ulterior motive for asking you to lunch?" Duo asked.

Trowa frowned slightly, but nodded, swallowing his pizza so he wouldn't face the indignity of spitting it out when he found out what Duo wanted.

"Okay," Duo said briskly. "So, well, the thing is, I'm kind of out of cash. At least, cash that Une knows about, and I'd rather not tip her off on my... private accounts just for a few nights in a hotel. But I really don't want to stay with Heero, Quatre's a pain to live with, and Wufei is... just weird. So... could I... stay with you? Just for a little while?" Duo smiled hopefully and stared at Trowa with puppy dog eyes to put Quatre to shame.

"Uh... well...I... " Trowa attempted to answer, trying to force the word "no" out of his mouth. He liked his privacy. He needed his privacy.

But... the mental image of Duo sprawled on his couch... sipping coffee at his kitchen table... naked in his shower...

"It would only be for a little while. Just until I can find a place of my own. Just a few days," Duo pressed desperately. "I know I'm a pain in the ass, but I really need your help, man... "

"Just a few days?" Trowa asked, attempting to look stern.

Duo nodded vigorously. "I promise! And you know I never lie!"

Trowa pretended to ponder the question a moment longer, although the thought of a soapy naked Duo in _his_ apartment had decided the issue immediately.

"Well... all right. I guess we can try it," Trowa agreed.

"Yes! You are the best!" Duo crowed happily. He slumped back in his seat, grinning. "Man, what a relief. I gotta tell you, I was kind of freakin' about where I could stay. If you turned me down, I don't know who I could have hit up... "

"You really wouldn't stay with Quatre or Wufei?" Trowa asked curiously.

Duo shot him an unreadable look, his smile fading. After a moment, the American replied simply, "No."

Trowa raised a curious eyebrow, but Duo said no more, instead picking up his pizza and focusing his attention on cheese and anchovies. There was definitely something going on behind the violet eyes, though. Trowa wondered what it was. And what it had to do with Quatre and Wufei.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> text in bold = Trowa's journal
> 
> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/7/204

***~*~*~*~***

**This morning, I was late to work for the first time since... well, since I can remember. Have I always been on time? God, wouldn't Duo laugh and call me a loser...**

**Actually, he did just that when he discovered this morning that I am generally awake and showered and dressed an hour before I'm due at work. Of course, the laugher didn't come until after he was done cursing and glowering at me for disturbing his rest on the couch. I couldn't really help it. My apartment is not big, and it's even smaller with two people in it. The couch shares space in my kitchen/dining room/den/work area, so I had to wake him up with my puttering. What else could I do, stay in my room and sit on my bed until he woke up?**

**Anyway, once he got over being annoyed, he made me breakfast as a thank you for letting him stay. I was surprised. He fries a decent egg. Of course, normally I would have just had cereal or oatmeal for breakfast, but I suppose one egg won't kill me.**

**After breakfast, Duo had to shower and get dressed. He told me he still isn't used to how quickly he can shower now. He lets his hair air dry, which is good, since I don't own a hair dryer. If I try to blow mine, it gets all puffy. He says the same thing happens to him.**

**Once the hair issue was resolved, Duo had to find something to wear. I pointed out that he really ought to wear a Preventer uniform, but he said he didn't take any on vacation with him (duh, Trowa), so he didn't have any. I offered to lend him one of mine. He looked skeptical, but said he'd try it.**

**I have to say results were mixed on that experiment. The uniform didn't fit too long in the legs and arms, too small in the waist and chest but I did get very definite proof that Duo has spent a lot of time on a beach somewhere lately. And he was probably working out on the beach, because... he looks good. I swear he didn't have muscles like that before. He's always tended to my body type, wiry and lean. Not skinny, as some uncharitable people would describe it. Heero, Wufei and Quatre have turned out to be the bulky ones. Not that that was surprising from the Asian contingent of our group, but Quatre really grew up after he hit puberty.**

**But I digress. Anyway, once Duo was done flashing tanned skin through the gaps in my clothing and making me drool, he just put on another pair of jeans and another tee shirt, this one fire engine red and... clingy.**

**I gave him a ride to work. It's really not motorcycle weather here.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa looked up from his screen to see Heero walking up to Duo's desk, a scowl on his face. Trowa frowned, wondering what that was about.

Heero stood behind Duo, fists planted on his hips, for a few minutes before the American noticed him. Or before Duo stopped pretending not to notice him, or deigned to acknowledge him, it was hard for Trowa to tell from this distance.

But then Duo spun his chair around, slouching down and looking up at Heero with an expression of bored tolerance.

Trowa couldn't hear Heero's words, but he could guess the sentiment when Duo frowned and asked incredulously, "Home?"

Heero said something else, fists grinding into his sides. Duo snorted and snapped back, "No, I don't live with you."

Finally, Heero was agitated enough to raise his voice to the point that Trowa could hear him. "Yes, you damn well do! You've lived with me since we were eighteen!" Heero barked.

Duo's frown deepened into an angry scowl, and he growled in reply, "I lived with you until I left your sorry ass six months ago!"

This seemed to surprise Heero. He actually took a step backward, and Trowa couldn't hear his next words.

Duo stared at the Japanese man in amazement, and slowly shook his head. Finally, he said, "Well, I'm sorry if I didn't make things clear to you, Heero. I thought it was pretty obvious to everyone who was in the office that day that we were finished. But since you seem to have missed that point, I'll make it very clear right now. There. Is. No. Us. We are through. Ended. Finito. Stick us with a fork and cue the fat lady. And so therefore, it is none of your concern where I spend my nights nowadays."

Trowa repressed the urge to applaud the speech. A muffled cheer went up from the water cooler area, but quickly fell silent under Heero's frigid glare.

"But that does remind me," Duo added in a thoughtful tone. "I do kind of need my stuff. At least some uniforms and winter clothes."

Heero turned back to Duo, but at enough of an angle that Trowa could hear him offer, "I'll bring them over. Just tell me where you're staying."

Duo stared at Heero for a moment through narrowed eyes, then shrugged and turned back to his computer, informing Heero lightly, "I'm at Trowa's place for now."

Heero turned, slowly, to glare at Trowa. Trowa raised an eyebrow calmly. Heero jerked his head in direction of the door.

Trowa sighed and got up, walking unhurriedly to the main exit from the office room. He stopped just outside the door, next to the soda machine, to wait for Heero. A moment later, the Japanese man arrived.

"Why is he staying with you?" Heero demanded harshly.

Trowa shrugged, long accustomed to ignoring Heero's attitude. "He needed someplace to crash. I had an empty couch," he explained. Heero snarled wordlessly at him.

"He has a bed waiting for him in my apartment," Heero growled.

Trowa frowned at the shorter man. "Well, apparently, he isn't interested in sleeping in it," he replied slowly.

Heero took a half step towards him, and Trowa let his arms hang loose at his sides, fists beginning to clench. The tension in the air was almost palpable, and the taller man couldn't quite figure out what had caused it. Of course he understood Heero's anger at being publicly snubbed by Duo, but how could the Japanese man have possibly thought Duo would be coming home to him after their parting?

"What _is_ Duo interested in, Trowa?" Heero demanded angrily. "Why don't you tell me, since you're such an expert?"

Trowa opened his mouth, but knew he wouldn't get the chance to voice a reply, as he could see Heero's arm drawing back for a swing. Trowa started to shift his balance to the balls of his feet, ready to spring out of the way of the shorter man's fist, when suddenly the door opened behind Heero and a blond head popped into the hallway.

"Oh, there you are! Heero, they need you down in Forensics!" Quatre declared brightly. The Arabian was either completely oblivious to the tension in the hall, which was damned unlikely, or was ignoring it.

For a moment, Trowa thought Heero would take a swing even with Quatre watching, but then the Japanese man just snarled at him in warning and strode off angrily down the hall. Trowa watched him go, still somewhat confused by the whole encounter.

Quatre stepped out into the hall, and Duo followed him, watching Heero until he disappeared around a corner. Then Duo shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"See, Quatre? Nobody's dead or bleeding," Duo prodded the blond in exasperation. He grinned at Trowa and tossed him a wink. "Trowa can handle Heero. Right, Tro?"

Part of Trowa wanted to grunt and strut and posture in a masculine manner, and part of him wanted to yell, "No!" and run for the hills.

He settled for a middle ground. "What have you gotten me into, Duo?"

Duo frowned slightly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Nothing. Heero's just a jealous ass," he muttered.

Quatre frowned at Trowa. Trowa ignored the blond and frowned at Duo. "But there's nothing to be jealous _of_! You're sleeping on my couch!" he protested.

Duo shrugged, studying the dirty tile floor. "That's enough, for him. Besides, I betcha he doesn't believe for a minute I'm sleeping on your _couch_ ," Duo explained with a twisted grin.

"But... but... you are!" Trowa sputtered exasperatedly.

"Well, I know that, and you know that, but Heero? He lives in his own little world," Duo declared irritably. He shook his head. "He makes me so damn tired sometimes. And I got work to pretend to do. See you guys later." And with that, Duo walked back into the office, leaving Trowa and Quatre alone in the hall.

Trowa turned to the blond, who was watching him with concerned eyes. "What?" Trowa asked shortly.

Quatre dropped his gaze to nervously twisting fingers. Trowa considered telling the Arabian that just looked silly now that he was no longer a scrawny, androgynous child, but held his tongue. "Well, Trowa... I was just wondering. Is it really... wise... to have Duo staying with you?" Quatre asked hesitantly.

Trowa frowned at him. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Quatre bit his lip. "Well... you know, Duo's just been through a bad break up. I mean, I know it was several months ago, but he hasn't been around to deal with the aftermath until now, so it's like it just happened... And Trowa... I know how... emotionally vulnerable you are, and how much you like to take in strays. If you can be a friend to Duo when he needs one, that's great, but... well, as long as you're just a friend. It wasn't so long ago that you had your own... loss... and I just don't think it would be good for either of you to get into a rebound relationship, especially not with each other... "

"He's sleeping on my couch because he doesn't have anywhere else to stay. It's just a temporary arrangement between _friends_ ," Trowa growled, cutting off Quatre's rambling speech. "And we broke up over a year ago now. It's hardly a recent loss." _It's hardly a **loss**_ , he added mentally.

Quatre gave him a look of mournful compassion, as though he could see that his good advice was being disregarded, but he had to let nature take it's course. Trowa gritted his teeth to keep from swearing aloud.

"Just... be careful, okay?" Quatre asked wistfully, pulling open the door. He gave Trowa one last sad look and sighed softly. "My poor broken clown," he murmured as he shut the door.

Trowa spun around and slammed his fist into the wall.

Then he walked away quickly so no one would hear him yell and associate him with the new hole in the plasterboard.

***~*~*~*~***

**It's hard to type with swollen knuckles.**

**I think everybody knows I put the hole in the wall, but nobody's ratted me out yet.**

**I couldn't help it. God, it PISSES ME OFF when he calls me a broken clown! I'm not broken, and I haven't been a clown in years! Condescending asshole!**

**Not that Heero's much better. What the hell is his problem, crawling up my ass because Duo's staying with me? He didn't seriously think Duo would be staying at his place, did he? After the way he treated Duo before? After everything that happened months ago?**

**Well, maybe he could think that. This is Heero Mr. Oblivious To Human Emotion Yuy we're talking about.**

**But still, where does he get off threatening me? And what if Duo wasn't sleeping on the couch? What right does Heero have to say what Duo can and can't do? Or who, for that matter?**

**Not that I want to sleep with him... I mean, yeah, he's gorgeous and everything, and it has been a while... But... he's Duo. My friend. And I've sworn off relationships with friends. Right?**

**Okay, five minutes of vapid staring at the back of his head has given me no answers.**

**Total honesty, since I'm just talking to myself here:**

**Yes, I'm attracted to him.**

**Yes... I'd do him if he offered.**

**No, I'm not desperate to jump him.**

**No, I don't want a relationship with him. I mean, other than the one I have. Relationships can ruin perfectly good friendships. Quatre probably wouldn't bug me nearly as much if we hadn't slept together for eight years.**

**Duo's fun. He's bouncy, and lively, and he makes me smile. I like spending time with him. Why can't we just do that, just hang out, without raising all these suspicions and jealousies? He's been gone for almost seven months! He's back for one day, and everybody's wildly speculating that we've started up this torrid affair... It's just fucked up.**

**Much as I like having him around, I hope he finds his own place soon, if only so people will drop these stupid speculations. There's nothing going on, neither of us is interested in the other, we're JUST FRIENDS.**

**And Heero and Quatre are jerks.**

***~*~*~*~***

Duo was surprisingly picky about Chinese take-out.

Hoping to dispel some of their mutual tension after the events of the day, Trowa had suggested picking up Chinese on the way home. Duo's less than enthusiastic response probably ought to have clued him in to the fact that this wasn't his best idea, but Trowa was still, after so much time spent with his comrades, unsure of his own ability to read their responses. So, since Duo didn't voice any outright objection, they got Chinese.

It wasn't until about the fifth wistful sigh and comment on the blandness of the food that it occurred to Trowa that Duo just might have been accustomed to authentic Oriental cuisine.

As soon as this thought entered his mind, Trowa looked across the small kitchen table at his housemate, watching Duo pick disinterestedly at some lo mein noodles.

Duo sighed again.

 _Damn it_ , Trowa thought to himself. _I was trying to get Heero **off** both our minds, and instead I brought him home for dinner._

At that moment, there was a sudden sharp knock at the apartment door.

Duo looked up from his mostly untouched dinner to stare at the door in mild trepidation mixed with annoyance. Trowa recognized the knock as well. With a sigh of his own, the tall man rose and opened the door to a scowling Heero Yuy, arms laden with plastic bags. The bags were overflowing with clothing. Heero scowled at Trowa, scowled at Duo, stepped into the apartment, and unceremoniously dropped his load on the floor.

Clothing spilled out over the polished linoleum, a crazy hodge-podge of fabrics and colors. Trowa spotted the navy and tan of Preventers uniforms tangled among faded denim, black leather, red satin... More colors than he had associated with Duo. Perhaps because of their early association, Trowa always pictured the American swathed head to toe in black.

It occurred to him that it had actually been years since Duo's wardrobe had been entirely comprised of funereal tones.

The scrape of Duo's chair on the floor broke Trowa out of his bemused study of the pile of clothes on his floor. He looked at Duo to find his guest frowning at Heero.

"I've got more clothes than that," Duo snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. Trowa wondered if that was an aggressive or defensive pose.

Heero grunted behind Trowa and muttered, "In the car." Trowa felt the Japanese man's presence depart the doorway, and a moment later Heero's voice echoed from the hallway, "If you don't come carry some of it, I'm not bringing it all up."

"Asshole," Duo muttered, but he shot out the door after his ex, pausing only to give Trowa a brief grin of weary apology. Trowa heard Duo's light steps pattering down the hall as he ran after Heero.

Left alone in the kitchen, Trowa scooped up the dropped clothing in his arms, then looked around the tiny apartment, trying to figure out where to put it. Finally, he just dropped it on the couch, Duo's temporary bed.

Then he turned and left the apartment, heading down to the street and Heero's car.

The bulb over the building's street exit had burned out again, leaving the entrance in shadow. Trowa paused on the threshold, studying the two men who stood beside Heero's small car. Heero was parked under a streetlight, and a soft rain had begun to fall. It looked like a scene out of a movie, the two of them standing there. Rain was slowly plastering their hair to their foreheads, but they didn't seem to notice or care. They just stood, staring at each other, Duo with his arms crossed over his chest, Heero with his fists clenched at his sides.

Finally, as though someone had given them the cue to start the scene, Duo dropped his gaze to the sidewalk and shook his head.

"I don't want to have this conversation with you right now, Heero," Duo said. His voice was weary, but Trowa could detect a note of warning in it as well.

Heero either didn't hear the warning or didn't care. "Well, I do," he snapped back.

Duo looked up at Heero again, glowering angrily at the Japanese man. "Well guess what, Heero? I don't give a fuck what you want anymore!"

Heero's scowl deepened and Trowa could see the knuckles of his hand whitening, the muscles in his shoulder bunching like they had in the hallway at work.

Apparently, Duo saw the same things, because he uncrossed his arms and spread his feet for balance. "Don't you fucking try it," Duo growled.

Heero seemed surprised at this statement. His eyes widened and he blinked at Duo, the scowl fading from his face to leave a blank expression behind. Trowa saw the tension drain immediately from his hands and shoulders and he backed up a step, to the edge of the circle of light.

Trowa relaxed slightly, deciding that maybe he didn't need to reveal his presence just yet after all. He wasn't about to let the two of them get into a fight in the street, but the fight seemed to have gone out of Heero for the moment.

What Heero did next, though, was almost as unsettling as seeing him attack Duo would have been.

Very slowly, as though afraid to spook the American, Heero raised a hand, palm up, until it hovered between them. Rain dripped from his fingers, and Trowa wondered if it was only an illusion of the water that made the hand seem to tremble in the streetlight.

Duo stared at the hand as if it were a poisonous snake, coiled and ready to strike. Heero stared at Duo, his face somehow softened in the rain and the shadows of the streetlight. He looked very young, Trowa thought.

"Duo?" Heero said softly, in a tone of voice Trowa wouldn't have believed the Japanese man could produce. With that same tone of nervous hope, Heero added even more quietly, "Please?"

"Fuck off," Duo choked out, and turned and ran back into the building, barely avoiding a collision with Trowa who fell back against the wall to get out of the American's way. When Duo was gone, Trowa looked back to the street to see Heero scowling furiously at the pavement.

Trowa stepped out into the street, into the circle of light cast by the streetlight.

Heero looked up at him, scowling still. They stared at one another wordlessly for a moment.

Then they turned to the car and began unloading the bags and boxes of Duo's possessions.

The task went quickly with Heero and Trowa working together in silent efficiency. They managed to get everything up to Trowa's apartment in only four trips, piling it all around the tiny living room area. Duo remained conspicuously absent throughout, the only indication that he was even in the apartment being the bar of light beneath the locked bathroom door.

As soon as the last load was in the apartment, Heero turned and left without a word, not even slamming the door behind him. Trowa took a moment to gaze in mild dismay at the cluttered state of his usually orderly little apartment, then walked over to the bathroom door and tapped lightly with his knuckles.

"Duo? He's gone," Trowa informed his roommate nervously. He wasn't at all certain what to make of Duo's reaction to Heero. He also wasn't sure what the hell the American was doing in the bathroom. He somehow doubted it was just yesterday's anchovies come back to haunt him. "Duo? Are you coming out?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"In a minute," Duo replied, his voice muffled by the door. There was the sound of running water from within the small room.

"Okay," Trowa answered immediately, trying to encourage the American to keep talking. But Trowa wasn't much in that habit himself, so didn't really know what else to say. Finally, he added hopefully, "Well... I'll be here."

This earned him a snort of amusement as the door eased open. Duo smirked wryly at him, his eyes only slightly red-rimmed. "There's not far to go in this place," Duo observed.

"Um... yeah. Well. I just meant... " Trowa gave up with a shrug, watching his friend worriedly.

Duo shoved a hand into his hair and sighed, sliding around Trowa's body in the bathroom doorway to get back into the apartment's main room. He stared at the piles of his possessions nearly overflowing the small living room area and sighed again. Trowa stood behind him, noting the tension in Duo's shoulders beneath the tight red shirt he still wore.

Duo turned slowly to face Trowa, scrubbing at his eyes with one hand. "I need a... hug," he declared wearily.

Trowa raised an eyebrow at this statement, feeling slightly nervous. He wasn't much for touchy-feely stuff, but... Well, it wasn't too hard to figure out what sort of need Duo was really feeling from the fine trembling in the hands that were now plucking nervously at his clothes, from the way he was avoiding Trowa's eyes...

Swallowing his misgivings, Trowa stepped closer to his guest, and slowly wrapped his arms around Duo's shoulders.

The other man melted into Trowa's hesitant embrace, Duo's arms wrapping tightly but not uncomfortably around Trowa's waist. There was about a seven or eight inch difference in their heights, so Duo's head fit neatly beneath Trowa's chin, and the American snuggled shamelessly against the taller man.

When it became apparent after a moment that Duo wasn't letting go any time soon, Trowa began to try and relax in his friend's arms. It wasn't that hard, really. Duo was a world-class hugger, and it wasn't long before Trowa was leaning against Duo just as much as he was supporting the shorter man, and his fingers were lightly stroking Duo's back in soothing circles. Duo made soft noises of contentment against Trowa's chest and Trowa smiled to himself.

This felt... nice. Very warm.

Yes, warm was definitely the word.

Quite warm.

In fact, one might almost say hot...

Trowa's eyes widened in alarm as he realized what sort of reaction he was beginning to have to Duo's body pressed tightly to his own. _That_ wasn't good. With one last squeeze, he gently but firmly broke the embrace, pushing a reluctant Duo to arm's length.

Duo pouted at him a moment, nearly breaking Trowa's resolve altogether, but then he smiled brightly and stepped away from Trowa's hands, turning back to the kitchen table and beginning to clean up the leftovers.

Trowa's hands fell to his sides as he watched Duo putter around the small kitchen. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed that Duo had accepted his ending of the embrace.

A silence stretched out between them while Duo worked, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Trowa would have offered to help clean up, but the kitchen was too small for two people at once. Instead he just watched as Duo cleaned the dishes and packed away the food.

After a while, Duo dried the last dish and turned to lean against the counter and smile at Trowa. "Thanks," he said simply.

Trowa blinked in surprise. "For what?" he asked in honest confusion.

Duo shrugged, his smile widening slightly. "For letting me stay with you. I know it's a pain, but I... " Duo trailed off in a sigh, looking down at the floor. "If I was alone," he continued quietly, "I probably would have just gone home with him. And that would have been... a bad idea."

"Aa," Trowa acknowledged softly, not sure what to say to that.

Duo looked up from the floor, smiling warmly, that rare genuine smile of his that was not often seen. "I just... Thanks. You're... a real friend," Duo informed Trowa sincerely. Then he crossed the room into the couch area, beginning to shift bags around so he would have somewhere to sleep that night.

Trowa sat at the table, studying the clean surface. A friend. A real friend. That was what he was. As he'd asserted to himself earlier that day, _just_ a friend.

_Damn it._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of this chapter is a journal entry
> 
> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/8/204

***~*~*~*~***

**I think I got about twenty minutes of sleep last night.**

**Every time I started to drift off, my stupid brain dredged up the memory of holding Duo, what it felt like to have him pressed against me... which wasn't necessarily a bad thing.**

**But then my stupid brain would start extrapolating.**

**Okay, so at first I thought it was weird that I had the reaction I did to hugging him, but... well, I've already admitted I find him attractive.**

**And it has been a long time.**

**Quatre probably thinks I'm still not over him or something, but it's really just...**

**I don't know. I have a hard time getting close to people. And other than Quatre, the only people around I am close to, close enough for... well, sex... are the other pilots. Duo and Heero were out of the question for obvious reasons, and Wufei... I guess I just wasn't ever really that interested in Wufei that way.**

**But now Duo is available, and... I guess I'm horny.**

**That is really a lowering thing to realize about yourself. The fact that you would seriously consider jeopardizing one of the best friendships you have, and betraying the trust of a friend who needs you, just to get a little nookie.**

**But he has GOT to stop wearing such tight clothes.**

**Okay, so it's not his fault his old uniforms don't fit right. He's put on muscle, so of course they're clinging like a second skin. He'll get new ones, and that will be all right. But he was showing me some of his ‘civilian' clothes last night, and...**

**How am I supposed to live with him decked out in leather and satin and SPANDEX by God and not just... JUMP HIM?!?!?!?**

**It's not fair, it's really not... I understand that he's a sensualist, he likes the feel of soft fabrics, but... that doesn't exactly help me either, you know?**

**How the hell did I end up living with a FUCKING SENSUALIST?**

**Of course, if I was living with a FUCKING sensualist, I guess I wouldn't be having this problem...**

**Bad Trowa.**

**Oh yeah, and Heero threatened this morning to choke me to death with my own tie if I hurt Duo in any way. But that was hardly surprising. Except that in the old days, he would have threatened to use my own intestine or something. He's mellowing, I guess.**

**Hey, Une's calling me. Actual work?**

***~*~*~*~***


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/10/204

Trowa didn't bother to look over as a blast of cold air and squealing hinges announced the return of his fellow agent. He just remained hunched behind the steering wheel, binoculars trained on the window of an office in the building across the street.

 _Isn't this guy ever going home?_ Trowa wondered irritably. _What's he doing up there, his secretary?_

The mission Une had sent him on was a simple one, routine surveillance, along with a little judicious rifling of files. Currently he and his partner were staked out, waiting for their quarry to go home for the night so they could break into his office and copy his files. The man was suspected of diverting company funds to a radical terrorist group of which he had once been a member. Trowa didn't think there was much doubt of the man's guilt, after trailing him for two days. So tonight they would break in and find the evidence they needed, and tomorrow they'd pick the guy up and drag him back to Une. After that, Trowa didn't really want to know what happened to the man.

He couldn't wait until this stupid case was over. Which was ridiculous, because a week ago he'd been languishing in boredom, wishing for something, anything, that would get him out from behind his desk and into the field. Now he just wanted to get the mission over with and get home.

Of course, a week ago "home" hadn't included Duo Maxwell.

Trowa sighed and lowered the binoculars, rubbing wearily at his eyes. He passed them over to his partner, taking a paper cup of coffee in return. The cup was so hot in his chilled fingers that he almost dropped it in his lap. He frowned at the pain, but managed to get the cup into the little detachable cup holder hanging off the dashboard of the rented car.

His companion peered up at the office for a while, then lowered the binoculars with a frown. "Agent Barton?" he asked politely.

"Yes, Ken?" Trowa replied wearily. Normally formality was just fine with him, but after two days in close quarters with the younger man, "agent" this and "sir" that was starting to wear thin. Especially when it was pretty obvious Nasir wasn't all that sincere in his respectfulness.

Ken glanced at him, brown eyes thoughtful, expression neutral. "Well, sir, I was just wondering... I mean, Mr. Granton up there, he always turns his lights off when he leaves, right?"

Trowa nodded.

Ken licked his lips and narrowed his eyes slightly. "And we can't actually see into his office from down here," he continued.

Trowa nodded again. Ken stared at him for a moment, his mouth slightly open as though he wanted to say something else, but then he just shook his head and raised the binoculars again. "Just checking," he muttered, sounding slightly annoyed.

Trowa repressed a smirk. "No, Ken, you seemed to be going somewhere with your logic. What did you want to ask?" Trowa pressed.

Ken lowered the binoculars again and gave him an odd look. "What I wanted to ask... sir... was why the hell we need to watch the window every second," Ken replied irritably.

Trowa blinked at the younger man. "We don't," he said calmly.

Ken frowned at him in disbelief. "Well, excuse me for asking, Agent Barton, but if that's the case, why have you been staring up there almost constantly all night?" he demanded, a bit snappishly. Trowa wondered if it were past Ken's bedtime.

In reply, Trowa simply shrugged and declared calmly, "I was bored."

Ken looked shocked by this admission. "Sir!" he said in tones of astonished disbelief. "You're _bored_ by a Preventer mission?"

Trowa stopped repressing his smirk, recalling some of the hair-raising missions he'd gone on in his youth. After his time as a Gundam pilot, sitting in a car slowly losing the feeling in his toes was supposed to be thrilling? "Aren't you? Isn't that why you've been out of the car every twenty minutes, buying snacks from that little mini-mart down the street?" he asked pointedly. "By the way," he added helpfully, "you might be advised to cut down on the ding-dongs and ho-hos. Quatre definitely won't be interested if you develop a spare tire."

Ken turned bright red at this candid comment, and again exclaimed, "Sir!"

"What?" Trowa asked innocently. Ken opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words came out. Trowa took the binoculars from the other agent's limp fingers and turned back to the building, grinning wickedly at the window. Nobody ever expected him to say things like that.

Eventually, Trowa's coffee cooled enough to drink, and he lowered the binoculars to do so. Ken was now staring moodily out the frosted windshield.

This was pretty much par for the course between the two of them, Trowa reflected. He and Ken had just never really hit it off. Probably due to Ken's utter fascination with Quatre, and Trowa's rather disenchanted view of the Arabian. A clash of philosophies, as it were.

"He's not interested in me anyway," Ken said softly, breaking Trowa from his reverie. Trowa blinked at the younger man in surprise. Not only had Ken left off his usual obnoxious honorifics, he actually seemed to have made a sensible remark.

Intrigued by the notion of an actual intelligent conversation, even with Quatre as the topic, Trowa answered honestly, "No, he isn't."

Ken frowned, sliding lower in his seat like a pouty child. "Of course he isn't," the younger man muttered petulantly. He shot Trowa a scathing sideways glance. "Because he's still in love with _you_ ," Ken accused bitterly.

Trowa nearly choked on his coffee.

A few minutes later, when Ken had finished pounding him on the back and apologizing profusely, and Trowa had finished coughing and hacking and laughing his head off, the two stared at one another with matching bemused expressions. Their quarry was momentarily forgotten.

"Ken," Trowa finally began slowly, "I don't know where you got that idea, but... Quatre certainly isn't hung up on me. He thinks I'm still hung up on him,  
but -- "

"But that's just it," Ken interrupted. "He's... projecting, you know? He still wants you, so he can't see that you don't want him anymore, and _\--_ "

" _He's_ the one who dumped _me_ ," Trowa snapped, frowning. He didn't like thinking about his break up with Quatre. Not because he was carrying a torch for the Arabian, but because it still irritated him how... foolishly he'd come across. Whatever he said or did, Quatre would twist it into an attempt to get back together, or if he was clearly stating that he was over Quatre, the blond would smile sadly at him and call him brave, and tell him it would be true, in time...

Jerk. Condescending asshole!

"Yeah, because he knew _you_ were gonna dump _him_ ," Ken asserted impatiently. Trowa scowled at him.

"Oh, he did, huh? Well, I wish someone had told _me_ that," he griped.

Ken frowned, waving a hand dismissively. "Everybody knew it," he declared firmly. "It was so obvious. He was smothering you, you were getting nervous and antsy... We all saw it coming."

Trowa frowned thoughtfully at the younger man. That was true... Quatre had been driving him crazy for a while before they broke up. He just hadn't been ready to give up on such a long-term relationship yet...

Trowa knew he'd never really been that upset about the break up. The only thing that really bothered him was the way Quatre's attitude made him look stupid, like he was desperately clinging, when really he...

"I was glad... when it was over," Trowa said thoughtfully. Ken nodded in agreement. Trowa frowned again. "But that doesn't mean that Quatre wasn't," he added. "We tried, and it worked for a long time... but eventually, it just didn't anymore. We grew up... and the people we grew into just didn't fit together."

Ken frowned skeptically at this statement.

Trowa sighed and shook his head. "Look, Ken, just trust me on this one. Maybe he has regrets... Hell, maybe _I_ have regrets. But Quatre and I... we're over. We'll always be friends, but... " Trowa trailed off, shaking his head, surprised to feel a wistful smile tugging at his lips. He'd always been so annoyed by the thought that he must have come off like an idiot during the break up that he'd never really thought about how he felt about it all. Maybe... it was time to let it go. Even if he'd made a fool of himself, he wasn't the first, and certainly not the last. Quatre was still his friend, and Trowa's anger over his embarrassment had been getting in the way of that friendship for a long time.

 _He really has to stop calling me a broken clown, though_ , Trowa reminded himself firmly.

Ken was frowning thoughtfully at Trowa. "You really mean that," the younger man observed. "You're over him."

Trowa nodded, happy with this realization. He'd been worried lately that his uncharacteristic continued annoyance about the whole debacle meant that he really _wasn't_ over Quatre. But now he was quite sure any unresolved issues had more to do with his pride than his heart.

Ken sighed wistfully. "That still doesn't help me."

Trowa frowned, considering the younger man's problem. "I really don't think Quatre's still hung up on me," Trowa asserted firmly.

"Then why does he ignore me?" Ken demanded, slamming a fist against the dashboard. "I spend as much time with him as I possibly can without getting fired, I do more of his damn work than my own, I compliment his looks, his clothes, his intelligence _\--_ _why the hell doesn't he notice me?_ "

By this point, Ken was red-faced and yelling, and Trowa stared at the younger man in astonishment. Ken always seemed like such an easy-going, laid-back type of guy, especially with the way he let Quatre walk all over him...

_Hmm..._

"You know... Ken... " Trowa began thoughtfully. Ken was instantly silent and attentive. Trowa looked over at the younger agent, giving him a thoughtful perusal. "Before Quatre gave up his company to follow his ideals... which, by the way, was a foolishly romantic notion on his part that he will never admit he regrets... he was pretty high up in society. Practically a young prince. He's always been charismatic and charming, and as long as I've known him, he's been surrounded by people who adored him, obeyed him, hung on his every word... " Ken was nodding.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Ken agreed. "I try to always be right there for him, but I'm not the only one. People just seem to bend over backwards for him without even thinking about it."

"And how many of them has he slept with?" Trowa asked bluntly.

Ken flushed dark red at the unexpectedly crude question. "Trowa! I _\--_ I mean... Agent Barton... "

"Trowa will do," Trowa assured him with a slight smile. "But think about my question. Have you ever seen Quatre get involved with any of those people bowing and scraping to him?"

"Well... no," Ken admitted.

"You know," Trowa mused, "the first time I met him, he took me home with him, had his Maguanacs repair my Gundam, gave me food and shelter for days... and until the day I left, I wouldn't even tell him my name. And I wasn't exactly gracious about it when I did," Trowa added with a smirk at the memory. He could still see Quatre leaning out the window, those wide sea-blue eyes seeming almost entranced... He'd never really thought about it before, but... that had to be it.

Ken was staring at him expectantly. Trowa smiled slightly at the younger man. "Quatre is too much of a gentleman take advantage of his underlings," Trowa explained. Ken blinked in confusion. Trowa's smile widened. "He's not the type to have random sex, but he only wants a relationship with an equal, not a servant. He's not going to reward you for fetching and carrying by screwing you like he'd pat a dog on the head. If you want him, you have to show him that while you respect him, you don't consider yourself below him."

"But... but... " Ken protested weakly.

"The sun doesn't rise and set on Quatre's ass," Trowa remarked tartly, getting a little tired of Ken's persistent worship of the blond. "Trust me. I'd know," he added with a wink. Ken blushed again.

Trowa was starting to enjoy provoking that reaction.

"So I... you think... " Ken mumbled in confusion.

"Quit bowing and scraping to him," Trowa snapped impatiently. "He's not a young god, he's just a man, just like anybody else. He doesn't want to be put on a pedestal. It's damn lonely."

Ken blinked in surprise. "You think?" he murmured wonderingly.

"I _know_ ," Trowa assured him sagely.

"Huh," Ken murmured, leaning back in his seat with a thoughtful frown. After a moment of silent contemplation, he glanced up reflexively and announced, "Hey, the light's out."

Trowa looked up at the office. The window had gone dark. _Finally_. "Let's get this over with."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/13/204

***~*~*~*~***

**Duo never came home last night.**

**I've been trying not to freak out, but maybe freaking out is warranted in this situation. How are you supposed to react when you're living with a friend who just returned from a mysterious half-year "vacation", who you know is having a tense time with his ex, and is a recovering alcoholic, and he DOESN'T COME HOME AT NIGHT?**

**Probably sitting at your desk typing furiously into your personal journal is not the most constructive course of action. But...**

**So, what if I kick up a big fuss, get everybody all worked up, and it turns out Duo just spent the night at a motel for some reason? Maybe he didn't want to be alone in somebody else's apartment. Maybe Heero came back, and he wanted to ditch him. Maybe he just couldn't stand the clutter of his own damn possessions!**

**I seem to be freaking out, regardless of the wisdom of doing so.**

**Okay, so it's still fifteen minutes before his shift begins. Our shift. Une wisely keeps all five of us on the same rotation. We don't always play well with others. So maybe, if I just settle down and wait until he's actually supposed to show up before I begin panicking...**

**How come I'm the only schmuck who comes in early?Even Wufei isn't here yet today.**

**Ken's here already. I asked him to get me a coffee. He told me to get it myself, he was busy. Then he grinned like an idiot and asked me how he was doing. Apparently he'd been practicing.**

**I told him very good. Then I told him to go get my damn coffee.**

**He's a clever boy. He went.**

**I'm still not sure if he'll actually get anywhere with Quatre, but at least he'll break the habit of letting people walk all over him because he wants to get them in bed. I'm all in favor of sexual empowerment. Woo-hoo.**

**Okay, five minutes past shift. Now I'm starting to get worried.**

**Maybe I'll just go see if Une has any messages from**

**Oh. Okay. He's here.**

**So is Wufei.**

**In fact, they seem to have come in together.**

**All right, that makes sense. For some reason, he didn't want to stay at my place alone last night, so he went to Wufei's. That's okay.**

**I feel better now.**

**But he could have left a fucking note.**

***~*~*~*~***

"Trowa! You're back!" Duo declared happily as Trowa walked up to his desk. Trowa frowned at the dark circles under the violet eyes, and the slight tension in Duo's shoulders beneath the new uniform shirt.

"Nice to see you, too," was what Trowa meant to say, but somehow, when he opened his mouth, what came out was, "Where were you last night?" Trowa winced at his own demanding tone and quickly assured Duo, "You don't have to answer that."

"Um, no, that's okay," Duo muttered nervously. Trowa frowned slightly at Duo's sheepish expression. "Last night. Well... uh... yeah. Last night... I was... "

"A _maz_ ing," Wufei concluded, sliding around Trowa to slip an arm around Duo's shoulders. The Chinese man leaned possessively against Duo's chair and smirked down at him. "I don't know how Heero let you go. Although I must admit, you do take a lot out of a man."

Duo dropped his face into his hands and shook his head, sighing heavily.

"What... the hell... " Trowa muttered weakly.

Wufei smirked at the taller man. "Last night," the Chinese agent drawled, "justice was served."

Duo groaned aloud.

Wufei frowned down at the top of the American's bowed head. "What's the matter with you, Maxwell?" he demanded, sounding more like his old snappish self than he had so far.

"Go away before I puke," Duo requested, his voice muffled by his hands.

Wufei cuffed him lightly on the back of the head. "Hey, I didn't hear any complaints last night," he said pointedly.

"That's cuz I was desperate last night," Duo growled, raising his head to glare at Wufei.

Wufei snorted. "You're always desperate," he declared dismissively, ignoring Duo's growl of anger at this remark. "I see how it is," Wufei continued dramatically. "You turn to me in your hour of need, but in the light of day, you spurn me! You, Maxwell, are a fickle bitch! Injustice!"

Duo winced as Wufei's bellow echoed around the office. "Oh, just great," he muttered.

Trowa blinked in confused dismay at Wufei's angry scowl.

"See if I offer you the comfort of my bed again!" Wufei continued, either not noticing, or enjoying the fact that he was drawing quite an audience. "Chang Wufei is not a sexual plaything! You dishonor us both with your ­ "

"Oh, SHUT UP!" Duo yelled, rising from his seat to physically shove the Chinese man out of his desk area. Then he returned to his seat and slumped down, cradling his head as if afraid it was about to fall off. Wufei stood where Duo had shoved him, in the middle of the aisle between desks, for a moment, then turned to frown thoughtfully at the American.

Duo glared at Wufei with one eye, peeking out from between splayed fingers. "What?" he snapped.

"Does this mean we're off for tonight?" Wufei asked placidly.

Duo glared at the Chinese man for a moment longer then said firmly, "Go away or I will kill you."

Surprisingly, Wufei smirked at him. "Welcome back, Maxwell," he said cheerfully, and then turned and walked to his desk, settling in as if nothing had happened. After a few moments, the rest of the office returned to work, accompanied by many shrugs and confused glances. Heero was stoically ignoring the entire incident. Quatre hadn't arrived yet.

Duo emerged from behind his hands and informed Trowa with a sigh and evident embarrassment, "I can't even claim I was drunk."

Wufei, seated just across the aisle, remarked serenely, "You know you loved it."

"Everybody loves the Wu-man," Duo replied wearily, but with a hint of a grin.

"Don't call me that," Wufei snapped.

"What, Wu-man?" Duo asked innocently. "Wu-man. WU. MAN. Wuuuuuuuuuu-man."

"Shut up, Maxwell!" Wufei was sounding more and more like himself, Trowa observed.

"You shut up, onna!" Duo called back.

Wufei turned bright red. "Maxwell! Kisama! I am not a woman!"

"You were last night," Duo drawled, apparently over his earlier embarrassment.

Wufei growled and yanked open a desk drawer, pulling out a sharp, shiny knife. Duo's eyes went wide, and he... giggled.

With only a quick, "Scuze me, Tro," the American was out of his chair and racing down the aisle, away from Wufei.

Wufei paused only long enough to assure anyone listening, "It's plastic," before he took off after Duo, bellowing a war cry.

Ken, returning at last with Trowa's coffee, stepped aside to let the other two pass, and shook his head. "I wouldn't want to be them when Une gets a hold of them," the young agent observed.

Trowa took his coffee and informed Ken flatly, "I'm going to go sit at my desk now."

Ken blinked at him in surprise and confusion for a moment, then said slowly, "Okaaay." He smiled a bit nervously.

Trowa nodded and returned to his desk.

It was safe there.

***~*~*~*~***

**So he slept with Wufei.**

**Not sure how I feel about that.**

**Why Wufei? Of all the people available to him, and Duo is definitely the kind of guy who always has people available to him, why would he choose Wufei?**

**Because they're old friends? But then why not Quatre? He and Duo always seemed to get along better than Duo and Wufei. Not that Duo and Wufei didn't get along, they just had this sort of weird competitive friendship. Maybe that had something to do with it?**

**But if he was looking for conflict why didn't he go straight to Heero? Although maybe that would be too much conflict. Besides, he's made it pretty clear he doesn't want to get back together with Heero.**

**But WHY WUFEI?**

**Okay, this is getting me nowhere. I have no idea why Duo chose to sleep with Wufei. And quite frankly, I don't want to know. As long as they're both happy, it's great. Right?**

**Sigh.**

**If I didn't have a personal rule about not deleting anything I write in here, I would erase that ridiculous "sigh" I just typed.**

**ARGH! I am wasting time speculating about my friends' love lives when I have a report to write up! Okay, I am stopping this idiocy and focusing on work for the rest of the day.**

**Maybe I'll ask him later about Wufei. He is still staying at my apartment, after all.**

**... Isn't he?**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa chewed thoughtfully on a meatball, and shot a covert glance across the tiny kitchen table at Duo, who was focused on twirling spaghetti on his fork as if the fate of the free world depended on him getting it wrapped just right. Just at that moment, though, Duo looked up and met Trowa's gaze. Trowa immediately looked down at his plate.

Duo sighed loudly. "What's the matter?" he asked warily.

Trowa looked up at his guest with a frown. "Why should anything be the matter?" he replied innocently.

Duo wrinkled his nose at Trowa for this comment. "Oh, c'mon, you've been giving me funny looks all day. So just tell me what's bugging you?"

Trowa shrugged and looked back to his plate. "Nothing's bugging me," he assured Duo calmly.

"Bullshit," Duo declared vehemently. He set his fork down on his plate.

Trowa sighed slightly and set his own fork down. When Duo chose talking over food, there was no point even trying to avoid conversation.

"Really, Duo, nothing's wrong," Trowa assured Duo again.

Duo frowned doubtfully at him. "So what's with the attitude, then?"

"What attitude?" Trowa asked in confusion.

Duo waved his arms widely, an exasperated look on his face. "This... whole... _thing_ from today! All day long, you've been freezing me out! You've barely spoken to me!"

Trowa frowned slightly. "Well, I had a lot of work to do today. I'm sorry if you thought I was ignoring you, I was just busy," he explained.

Duo's arms dropped to his sides, and he regarded Trowa with a frown that was both speculative and petulant. "Well, what about tonight? Since we got home?" he pressed. "You haven't even said if you liked dinner," he added, the petulance coming to the fore.

"Well... I'm sorry. Dinner is great. I didn't know you could cook," Trowa remarked. He glanced briefly at Duo's unsatisfied expression, and added, "And... well, I'm still tired from the mission."

Duo grunted softly in apparent acceptance of the excuse.

Trowa momentarily lost his better judgment and continued, "Besides, I didn't get much sleep last night since I didn't know where you were."

He glanced up again. Now Duo looked annoyed.

"You're not my keeper," the American snapped, picking up his fork and making agitated little circles in his spaghetti.

"I realize that," Trowa replied flatly, irritated at Duo's attitude. "I was just worried, since you didn't leave me a note," he snapped back.

Duo's fork slowed a bit. "I didn't realize you'd be coming home last night," he said quietly.

Trowa shrugged. "Neither did I," he said.

Duo looked up at him, peering from beneath shaggy gold-shot bangs, violet eyes furtive. "If I'd known... I wouldn't have gone," he offered apologetically.

Trowa shrugged again. "I don't really care where you spend your nights," he informed Duo flatly. "After all, I'm not your keeper. I just would have appreciated a note."

"You... " Duo raised his head, still looking at Trowa. The violet eyes were narrowed slightly, shadowed. Duo stared at the taller man for a moment, then he shrugged and rose from his seat, carrying his plate over to scrape the remainder of his meal into the garbage.

Trowa frowned. It wasn't often that Duo didn't finish a meal. "Duo?" he asked warily. "Is something... wrong?"

"Not a goddamn thing," Duo replied with blatantly false cheerfulness.

Trowa sighed and turned his chair around to face Duo's back as the American once again busied himself with the dishes. "Duo, just tell me what the problem is," he said firmly.

"Why should I? You won't tell me what _your_ problem is," Duo replied reasonably. Trowa frowned at the tension in Duo's shoulders.

"I don't have a problem," Trowa asserted, beginning to get annoyed by Duo's refusal to accept this statement.

Duo spun around and braced himself against the counter, glowering at Trowa and shaking a finger for emphasis. "Yes, you fucking well do! You've been cheesed off all damn day, and you won't tell me why and it's _bugging the hell out of me!_ I thought it was Wufei, but apparently not, since you don't _care_ where I spend my nights!" By this point, Duo was yelling.

"Why should I? You're a grown man, you can make your own choices!" Trowa snapped back.

"Yeah, and I've got such a fucking stellar track record in decision making!" Duo spat angrily. He shoved his hands into his hair, digging his fingers into his scalp. He fixed the taller man with a wild-eyed stare and demanded, "Jesus, Trowa, what the hell is wrong with us? When did we all stop giving a shit about each other? This is why I fucking left in the first place! And you... " Duo slumped against the counter, seeming to suddenly lose energy. When he continued speaking, it was in a quiet, mournful voice, directed to the linoleum. "You were the only one who... I thought... still _did_ care. You were the only one who even _tried_ to help me, and... you let me move in here... I thought... " Duo had his arms wrapped around his body, squeezing tighter as his voice grew softer. "I thought we were still friends... the way we used to be... "

Trowa cursed softly under his breath and stood from his chair, crossing the kitchen in two steps and pulling Duo gently away from the counter. His concern for the American overriding his usual reluctance to get too close to anyone, Trowa wrapped his arms tightly around Duo's body, holding the shorter man close. After a moment, Duo's arms unwrapped from his own torso and slid around Trowa's waist instead, squeezing almost painfully tight.

Trowa could feel a fine trembling in Duo's body, perhaps from tension. He gently stroked the soft, short hair, vaguely regretting that he'd never held Duo like this before he cut his hair. Eventually, Duo relaxed against him, and Trowa, without loosening his embrace, said quietly, "So tell me about Wufei."

Duo shifted his head so his face wasn't pressed directly into Trowa's chest. "We always leave him out," Duo explained quietly. "I mean, we do stuff with him, but... He's one of us, but... not _part_ of us, you know?"

Trowa nodded slightly, considering Duo's words. Wufei had always been the loner of the group, so Trowa had never really thought much about the fact that none of them had as close a bond with the Chinese man as they did with at least one of the others.

"Heero always accuses me of trying to solve every problem with sex," Duo continued. "But... well, sometimes, it works."

"Aa," Trowa acknowledged, thinking that there were definitely some problems sex could solve. He even had a few himself. He sighed internally. "So... you and Wufei... are you going to move in with him?" he asked, trying to keep the strange dismay he felt at the thought from reaching his voice.

Duo pulled his head away from Trowa's shoulder to frown up at him in confusion. "No," he said in a tone of confused derision. "Why would I move in with him? Have you seen his apartment? He lives like a freaking ascetic. He'd never let me keep all my stuff there."

Trowa studied Duo with a confused frown of his own. "But... aren't you... didn't you?" he attempted to ask.

Duo cocked his head like a curious puppy. "We had sex," he said flatly. "It was pretty good, too. But we're not... " his voice trailed off as a look of understanding brought an amused grin to his face. "You thought we were... an item?" Duo asked incredulously.

Trowa's frown deepened. "Well... you did sleep together," he pointed out.

Duo smirked at him in disbelief. "Since when does a one night stand with Mack Daddy Wufei constitute a relationship?" he asked sarcastically. "It was just meaningless sex, Tro."

"Is there such a thing?" Trowa shot back. "Besides, what was all that about him being left out?"

Duo's smirk widened. "Of course there's such a thing, and I highly recommend it. But you do have a point," he added thoughtfully. "Me and Wu... we're not cut out for each other, but last night... it _was_ kind of important. He told me he always felt like none of us liked him as much as we did each other, like he was somehow not enough a part of the group to, well, boink. So now he knows differently. So I guess you're right, it wasn't just random... Hmm." Duo frowned thoughtfully. Laying his head back down on Trowa's shoulder. "Deeply meaningful meaningless sex. Leave it to us to complicate everything," he continued after a moment's thought.

They stood there, still holding one another, for a while, and then Duo gave Trowa an extra squeeze and squirmed out of the embrace. He grinned up at the taller man and announced brightly, "Okay, I think that concludes the melodrama portion of the evening. Now, back to the dishes."

"I can do that," Trowa offered. "Why don't you... take a bath or something?"

Duo waved him off, picking up Trowa's abandoned plate. "Nah, the least I can do is earn my keep around here. Besides, you're the one who's tired, so you should take the bath."

Trowa frowned slightly, but a bath did sound nice, after spending four days freezing in a car with Ken. "Well, if you're sure," he said slowly.

"Go! Soak! Come out in a better mood, and I promise not to have another nervous breakdown," Duo declared, smiling widely over his shoulder as he ran water into the sink.

Trowa smiled back and walked over to the bathroom. He paused at the door and looked back, watching Duo putter in the kitchen. It just seemed... right, to have him there. Trowa had lived alone for over a year, but it wasn't until Duo moved in that he'd realized he was at all lonely.

"I _do_ care," he said quietly, sure Duo couldn't hear him over the running water.

But as he turned to step into the bathroom, he heard the American reply equally softly, "I know."

[[part 5](http://raygunworks.net/aoe/stuck/stuck5.html)] [[part 7](http://raygunworks.net/aoe/stuck/stuck7.html)] [[back to Aoe's fic](http://raygunworks.net/aoe.html)]


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/14/204

***~*~*~*~***

**Eleven days to Christmas, and I haven't even started my holiday shopping.**

**In fact, I hadn't even conceived of the notion of holiday shopping until Duo brought it up over breakfast this morning.**

**We had eggs again, but what the hell, I can worry about cholesterol in my thirties. I never thought I'd still be alive at this age anyway, right?**

**But holiday shopping... Somehow, I always forget about it. I shouldn't. I mean, we celebrate Christmas every year. Duo kind of dragged us all into the tradition, although he's never had much success with the Secret Santa idea. We're all still a bit jumpy around mysterious, unmarked packages. Ingrained paranoia. But we always have a Christmas party, and exchange gifts amongst ourselves... Duo usually organizes an office party, too...**

**I am thinking about this because he has hauled out the dusty boxes of office decorations and is untangling lights at his desk at the moment. The first year we were all here, Une tried to discourage him from decorating, but... Duo Maxwell is not easily discouraged. So there he is, happily planning the draping of garland and lights around the office ceiling. He has the seating chart up on his computer screen, and I know from experience that he is using it to figure out whose desks he's going to be standing on this afternoon. He really doesn't have to bother. I can see our coworkers, those who've been here more than a year, studying the ceiling above their work areas. Anyone with a pre-placed hook is already stacking up files to work on elsewhere once the decorating frenzy begins.**

**But amused as I am by all of this, I find myself facing a thorny issue.**

**Where, exactly, will we ex-Gundam pilots be having our private party this year?**

**In years past, we've all gone over to Duo and Heero's spacious apartment, which Duo would have far more elaborately decorated than the office, complete with a big tree covered in tinsel and lights and shiny ornaments, and mistletoe hanging from every doorway. We'd have our traditional Christmas pizzas, with one separate pie with anchovies for Duo, and then we'd all sit around watching some old Christmas movie on the vid and watch each other get drunk on homemade eggnog.**

**Somehow, I don't see Heero coordinating this sort of activity on his own.**

**But surely we can't get together in my apartment? Duo and I barely fit in there as it is! If we added a tree and three other people, two of us would have to be in the bedroom and one in the tub at all times!**

**Not that that wouldn't make for an interesting party, but...**

**Actually, I had wondered if we would even celebrate Christmas this year. When Duo was gone, it seemed a sure bet that we wouldn't. He's the only connection most of us have to the holiday. And then, even when he did come back, I didn't think he was much in the holiday spirit. But today he seems to have woken up with Jingle Bells on the brain, if his constant cheerful humming is any indication.**

**So I don't know. I guess I should ask him if we should start looking for a tree or something. Logistical nightmare that it would be, I don't think I'd have the heart to tell him he can't have his Christmas party.**

**Oh well, I'll worry about that later. For now, I will pause and enjoy the spectacle of Duo standing on desks, stringing lights around the room.**

**I see he has enlisted young Ken as his decorating assistant. Ken is walking around on the floor, following Duo's progression from desk to desk, draped with light strings. He looks harried but indulgent. It is hard not to be indulgent of Duo in the Christmas spirit. He's like a little kid.**

**Hmm. Une just called Duo and Quatre into her office. I wonder what's going on?**

**Well, they've finally come back out. I guess they were only in there about twenty minutes, standard briefing time...**

**Briefing time?**

***~*~*~*~***

Here comes Duo, with a thoughtful frown on his face.

"Well, Tro, looks like it's my turn for some excitement," Duo stated brightly as he leaned one hip against Trowa's desk.

Trowa leaned back in his chair and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Me and the Q got a job. We get to go "assist" the local authorities with a kidnapping," Duo elaborated.

Trowa frowned. "Who's the victim?" he asked curiously. In Preventer-speak, "local authorities" could refer to any level of law enforcement from a small-town sheriff to a national security force. For the Preventers to be involved, the case had to involve some kind of political figure, though.

Duo frowned sternly at Trowa, and informed him, in his best Une impersonation, "That's need-to-know information. And you don't need to know."

Trowa rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he drawled. "It's not like the whole office won't know by tomorrow."

Duo shrugged. "Hey, I try not to piss off the boss lady when it's this close to bonus time, ya know?"

Trowa smirked at the remark as Wufei walked down the aisle. The Chinese man nodded at his friends, not seeming inclined to stop, but Duo grabbed his arm, halting him. Wufei blinked at Duo in surprise and mild trepidation.

"The Wu-meister! Just the guy I was looking for!" Duo declared happily.

Wufei looked outright nervous at this statement, but, being Wufei, was hardly likely to admit to it. "Can't get enough, hm, Maxwell?" he drawled, sliding an arm around Duo's waist. "I knew it, I've ruined you for other men," Wufei continued sorrowfully, pulling the American against him.

Duo grinned at his captor, not resisting the pull of Wufei's arms. In fact, Duo wrapped his own arms around Wufei's neck and proceeded to nip gently at his earlobe. Wufei's eyes went wide at receiving such treatment in the middle of the office. Trowa gritted his teeth and endured the show. There was, after all, no earthly reason why it should bother him.

"You're right, Wu," Duo purred into the Chinese man's ear. "I need something from you... something I know no other man could do for me the way you could... Will you do it for me, Wu?" Duo pleaded in a husky voice, pressing closer to Wufei.

Trowa could see white all around Wufei's dark irises by this point, but he had to give the other man credit for keeping his voice steady and even as he asked, "And what is it you want me to do, Duo?"

"Do I really have to say it?" Duo riposted quickly, bending his head to nibble at the base of Wufei's neck a moment. "Just say you'll do it for me... " he begged softly. "Please, Wu? Just... promise... " And then he turned his attention to a spot behind Wufei's ear that immediately made the Chinese man flush bright red and squirm out of his embrace.

"All right, all right, I promise I'll do it! Just don't do that in public!" Wufei demanded desperately. He began fidgeting with his clothes, a sure sign he was flustered.

Duo smirked triumphantly and tossed Trowa a wink before proclaiming, "That's great, Wu! Thanks a bunch! And I just know you'll do a great job finishing the office decorations!"

Wufei and Trowa both stared at the grinning American with identical expressions of bafflement.

Duo's smile faded to a look of innocent confusion as he cocked his head to the side and asked them, "Well, what did you think I was talking about?"

"You," Wufei pronounced flatly, "are an evil, evil man."

Duo smirked at him. "'Course I am, baby. I'm the God of Death, remember?"

Wufei rolled his eyes and gave Duo a grudging half smile. "You win. I promised. I'll do it," he declared wearily. Duo looked smugly triumphant.

Then he jumped a foot and squeaked in surprise when Wufei goosed him as he walked past to find Ken. "That's what you get for teasing," Wufei called back to Duo without turning his head.

"Jerk," Duo muttered, but he was grinning ruefully even as he rubbed his molested bottom. He turned back to Trowa and shook his head at the vagaries of life. "Anyway," Duo said, leaning on the desk again, "like I said, duty calls. I'm not sure how long we'll be gone, but this sounds like an amateur job, so it probably won't be long, one way or the other. I hope they don't kill him," Duo frowned thoughtfully. "That would suck at this time of year. But anyway, I'm sure we won't be gone more than a few days, a week at the outside."

Trowa nodded. "Yes, I'm fairly familiar with standard mission procedure, Duo," he said patiently. Duo knew that, so obviously there was something else he had come over to discuss.

"Yeah, right... guess you would be," Duo agreed, smiling sheepishly. "Um. So, anyway, I'm sorry I'll be gone so long, and I won't be around to help you decorate. I guess you could wait until I get back, but that would be awful close to Christmas... "

"Decorate?" Trowa asked slowly.

Duo blinked at him in surprise and confusion. "Yeah, don't you... I mean... Well, it's not like you _have_ to decorate," he assured Trowa hastily. "If tacky lights and tinsel aren't your thing, that's cool, it's your place and all. I was just... but never mind me," he concluded abruptly, waving his hands to dismiss the whole decoration issue. Duo sighed and pushed some of his long bangs behind one ear. The hair immediately fell back into his face when he lowered his hand. "I'm avoiding the real issue anyway."

Trowa frowned. "And what, exactly, is the real issue?" he asked calmly, congratulating himself on hiding his nervousness better than Wufei.

Duo was fidgeting, or more accurately, trying to find something to fidget with. His fingers skimmed over the waist of his pants, tugging at the bottom of his shirt and his belt loops. It took Trowa a moment to realize he was unconsciously searching for his braid. That had always been a dead giveaway to the degree of Duo's discomfort. The braid had been like a security blanket for him.

"Well," Duo began hesitantly, refusing to meet Trowa's curious gaze, "the thing is... it's just that... after this whole Wufei deal, I was wondering... I mean, not that it would necessarily even be an issue, but, you know, anything's possible, but I don't want to freak you out or anything, so I just thought I'd ask... So... would it be... okay?" Finally, Duo met Trowa's perplexed stare, the violet eyes wary and uncertain.

Trowa stared back at Duo for a moment, then asked in sincere bafflement, "Would _what_ be okay?"

Duo's eyes widened in a look of incredulity. " _You_ know," he insisted. At Trowa's mute shaking of his head, Duo bit his lip and bounced slightly on the balls of his feet. "If I... if me and Quatre... if we... " He waved a hand and added, "You-know-what."

"You're planning to sleep with Quatre on this mission?" Trowa asked flatly. It wasn't hard to keep any emotion from his tone, because he quite honestly had not the slightest idea what sort of reaction he was having to this idea.

Duo flushed bright red. "Well, not planning," he muttered. "But, well... stuff happens, and I just wanted to know... if it would piss you off again," he concluded, watching Trowa with eyes gone unreadable.

Trowa frowned and pondered the question for a moment. "No," he finally replied slowly, "I don't think I'd get angry again. I was really... more worried than angry, so... " Trowa shrugged, waving a hand in dismissal of the issue. "Do what you like. Whatever makes you happy," he declared.

Duo frowned slightly, then gave a shrug of his own. "It's not always about what makes just me happy," he said quietly.

Trowa blinked in surprise at this statement, but before he could react to it, Duo grinned widely and leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the forehead. "Well, I gotta run home and pack! I'll see you when I get back, Tro!" And with that he turned and began to walk away. Before he'd gone far, though, he turned back and batted his eyelashes at the taller man. "At least hang up some mistletoe, hmm, Tro-chan?" he requested coquettishly. Then he laughed lightly and ran off toward the exit, where Quatre was impatiently waiting for him.

Trowa shook his head with a sigh, baffled beyond any possibility of sorting out the emotions _that_ little chat had jumbled up inside him. The only thing he was sure of was that he wasn't angry at Duo. He hadn't been angry at Duo.

He was dimly beginning to suspect that he wasn't capable of being angry at Duo.

"What the hell is going on with you two?" a sharp nasal voice demanded abruptly.

Trowa looked over to the aisle to see Heero standing there, scowling viciously at him. Trowa raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry. It occurred to him that he did that a lot. It was a good way to gain psychological control over a conversation. Make the other person do the talking.

Heero just glared harder.

Trowa sighed. "What do you mean, Heero?"

"You and Duo," Heero snapped. "Are you together or aren't you?"

"We're living together," Trowa answered calmly.

Heero stared at him silently for a moment. Trowa watched a muscle in the Japanese man's jaw jump spasmodically. "Are you _together_... in the _physical_ sense?" Heero grated out.

Trowa considered another vague answer like "We spend a lot of time together," just to see if he could get Heero to develop a nervous tic, but then he decided that Heero Yuy displaying a nervous tic was not something he wanted to see. Or be within five miles of, much less be the cause of.

"No, we're not sleeping together. Not that it's any of your business," Trowa replied shortly. No reason to be falsely gracious with Heero. It wasn't like he noticed or appreciated it if you were.

Heero frowned, but his jaw relaxed. "Why not?" he asked, obviously puzzled by this notion.

Trowa shrugged. "He's my friend. He just needed a place to stay because he was short on cash. Did you think he was taking his rent out in trade or something?"

Heero's frown deepened. "No," he replied flatly. Trowa sighed internally. Sarcasm, too, was often lost on Heero. "I just figured... he'd chosen you because you were... like me, only... less," Heero continued.

Trowa felt his own jaw tighten. "Thanks," he snapped, glowering.

Heero cocked his head, either in unconscious imitation of Duo, or in the gesture that Duo had adopted. Trowa wasn't sure which way it had happened, and suddenly that bothered him terribly. After a moment, Heero seemed to decide he couldn't figure out the meaning of Trowa's response, and shrugged it away.

"Do you want to sleep with him?" Heero asked bluntly.

Trowa ground his teeth and refused to answer, but he could feel his traitorous face flushing slightly. He hoped Heero would take it for anger.

A faint smirk twisted Heero's lips. "You do," the Japanese man deduced smugly.

Okay, now Heero was starting to piss him off.

"Well, maybe I do. Everybody seems to want him. So maybe you could be a pal and give me a bit of an edge, eh, Heero? Maybe you could tell me what it was you did to make him so fucking miserable?" The art to asking questions like that, Trowa had learned, was to deliver them in the calmest, flattest tone possible.

Heero gave Trowa his fiercest glare, and then turned and walked back to his own desk, sitting down and booting up his computer.

Trowa watched the Japanese man work for a few minutes, then he stood up and walked determinedly over to Heero's desk.

"I asked you a question. I'd like an answer," Trowa said coldly. He wasn't sure why he was pressing this issue. It was undeniably dangerous to bait Heero, particularly where Duo was concerned. But Duo was Trowa's friend, and Heero was, too, for that matter, and whatever had gone wrong between the two of them was unlikely to have just healed itself during Duo's absence. It may have scabbed over, but from what Trowa had observed of their interactions since Duo's return, there was still a lot of pain and anger to be dealt with between the two.

Heero might be able to wall it away and move on as though nothing had ever happened, but Trowa doubted Duo could do that. And just because Heero could didn't mean he should.

"When did we all stop giving a shit about each other?"

Duo's anguished voice echoed in Trowa's mind, ameliorating his anger at Heero a bit. Whatever had happened between the two men, it had hurt Duo badly, but it had hurt Heero as well. He just made more of an effort to hide his pain, and the rest of them had taken that at face value. They had blamed him for Duo's unhappiness and eventual departure, never sparing a moment's concern for Heero's feelings.

Trowa still wasn't sure he could muster the same level of sympathy for Heero that he had for Duo. Heero just didn't invite concern. Even now, years after the war, he still was and probably always would be a very reserved, austere personality. They all knew he had his hidden depths of emotion. Duo never would have stayed with him so long if he didn't. But Heero had just never lost that outward coldness he'd had from day one. Even his friends who knew him better than anyone occasionally forgot he really was human behind the scowl.

Although it was damned easy to overlook when he gave one that inimitable glare.

Trowa crossed his arms and leaned against Heero's desk, obviously intending to stay until he got an answer.

Eventually, Heero gave up on the glare. He leaned back in his chair and regarded Trowa with a look of exasperation mingled with guilt.

"I did a lot of things," Heero said calmly. "And then, there were a lot of things I didn't do. I'm still not sure which was worse in the end."

Trowa frowned slightly. It wasn't much of an answer, but it was all he was likely to get from Heero. And he wasn't sure he could even bring himself to ask Duo the same question. Still, there had to be something more... "What was the last straw? That last day, something had pushed him over the edge. He wouldn't have just left like that..." Trowa mused thoughtfully, not even realizing he was thinking aloud, until Heero answered.

"I hit him," Heero said quietly.

Trowa looked down at the Japanese man in shock. Heero was staring blankly at his computer screen, the light giving his face a sickly blue cast. He spoke softly, almost like he was talking to himself. "He always frustrated me so much. He wanted things I didn't know how to give, and it made me angry. That he was so demanding... and that I couldn't give him what he wanted. I always knew he'd leave me eventually. I wasn't good enough. It was my fault he started drinking. I was... too harsh with him. I hurt him, sometimes without even meaning to. And sometimes I did mean to. When it got out of hand, and I told you all I'd deal with it... I didn't want you interfering. He was... mine, I didn't want... I always knew you were my biggest competition, all three of you. Who do any of us really have, except each other? Who else could ever understand us? I didn't want to lose him. But I didn't know how to help him.

"And then you... " Heero glanced up briefly, meeting Trowa's gaze for a moment before turning back to his screen. "You turned him in to Une. You actually did something. I tried... I tried to turn him against you, for that," Heero admitted. "But he was always smarter than I gave him credit for. I tried, after that. I watched how you dealt with him, and I tried, but I was too hard on him. You were firm, but not... I just don't know how... Anyway, I tried to force him to stop drinking, tried to shame him, tried to order him... But every day, there was this look in his eyes... every day, it was stronger. This distance... he was pulling away from me. I was pushing him away, too, but... he'd never let me do it, before. That last night... before he left... I asked him why. Why he did what you asked, but went out of his way to defy me, even though he was only hurting himself in doing it. He said... it was because you... wanted to help him. I... only wanted to control him. He said you cared about him... and I didn't.

"And... I hit him," Heero concluded solemnly. He sighed deeply, as though admitting his crime had lightened the load on his conscience somewhat. "He wouldn't speak to me at all after that. We had sex that night. I was... worked up. He didn't fight me, but... " Heero shook his head. "He just laid there, just... stared at me. Like he didn't know me. Then the next day... I was trying to piss him off, just to get some reaction. Just to get him to say something to me. But he didn't. He never even said goodbye. He just left."

"Do you blame him?" Trowa asked quietly, his voice a bit sharper than he intended. He was trying to reserve judgment, to not give in to his urge to attack this man who had been his friend for so long. It wasn't his place to judge Heero, who was obviously, in his own way, hurting almost as much as Duo from the incident. Maybe more, since Duo seemed to have come to terms with the end of his relationship with Heero, and Trowa was pretty sure Heero had not done the same. Knowing Heero, he probably hadn't even let himself think about anything that had happened until Duo returned.

Heero looked up at Trowa, frowning in confusion. "Of course not," he said in a tone of exasperated amazement, apparently stunned Trowa would even suggest such a thing. "He had every right... I don't deserve anything from him," Heero asserted flatly.

Trowa frowned at this statement, having perhaps the most experience of anyone with Heero's rather bizarre sense of guilt. The Japanese man's actions began to make more sense to him in this context. That unrelenting death glare on the day Duo came back... not really anger or possessiveness, but just Heero closely assessing the situation. Heero's questions about Duo's whereabouts the next day, while seemingly a harsh interrogation, had really just reflected his worry for the American. And that confrontation with Trowa in the hall... well, that probably had some elements of jealousy in it, especially considering the little scene Trowa had witnessed between Duo and Heero that evening. But Duo had quite clearly stated his choices, throughout that day. And the next day...

 _He warned me not to hurt Duo_ , Trowa recalled. Trowa sighed internally. Somehow, he'd just accepted the threat as typical Heero grumbling, more of a warning not to mess with his toys than anything else... When it had really been Heero's way of saying, "Okay, I accept that Duo has chosen you over me, and this is my penance for my transgressions. But you better not make the same mistakes, or I will hurt you."

 _Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear..._ Heero had probably been more confused by the Wufei episode than Trowa had been.

"Why can't you ever just apologize like a normal person?" Trowa demanded in exasperation. Heero just blinked at him in confusion, and Trowa walked away, muttering that he needed to think.

He sat at his desk and watched Wufei and Ken draping lights around the room, Wufei's inherently anal personality coming to the fore and turning the simple task into a day-long project.

 _This is what I get for being curious_ , Trowa informed himself grimly. Now that he knew what had happened... _I have to fix this. Or at least, I have to help **them** fix this. I have to do something... this is a big nasty mess, and I can't let it fester. It could end up ripping us all apart. But damn it... _ He sighed, and rubbed wearily at his eyes. _What if they work it out somehow, and Duo decides... to give Heero another chance?_

Trowa frowned at the thought. _Well, if he does, that's his choice. And if it works out, and he's... they're happy, then I'd be happy, too. That's what's important, right, that Duo is happy?_ Trowa sighed again. _Yes. That's what's important. I want him to be happy._

_"It's not always about what makes just me happy."_

Trowa bit his lip thoughtfully, considering that comment Duo had made so recently. What had he meant by it? That other people's happiness should come before his sometimes? Or that... he couldn't be happy if someone else was unhappy?

Trowa wasn't sure what Duo had meant. But he was pretty sure that the American getting back together with Heero would not make Trowa Barton very happy, in a purely personal sense. Would Duo care if he were unhappy?

Or was he just being selfish and trying to convince himself of that?

And where should he hang the mistletoe?

Trowa lowered his head until his forehead rested on his desk. "I hate my life," he muttered softly against his desk calendar.

"Bemoan your fate later, Barton. I need your desk," Wufei announced from beside him. Trowa looked up to see a very determined Chinese man scowling at him. Wufei with a Purpose was nearly as implacable as Heero. Ken smiled apologetically over Wufei's shoulder at Trowa.

"If we move the hook up there over your desk, it'll even out the angles," Ken explained vaguely. Wufei sneered at Ken's words, which obviously did not express the true glory of his intricate decorating scheme.

"Fine," Trowa muttered, pushing himself to his feet with a glower for the Chinese man. Wufei ignored him in that way only Wufei could, making it very obvious that he was being ignored. Shaking his head at Ken's expression of confused concern, Trowa walked off towards the break room. Heero was still at his desk, but somehow, Trowa didn't feel like talking to the Japanese man right then.

 _Duo_ , Trowa thought to himself as he walked, _I wish I knew what you wanted. I wish I knew..._

But Trowa knew lots of proverbs about the value of wishes.

And he had to make a fresh pot of coffee in the break room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/16/204

***~*~*~*~***

**I just don't know what to do about it.**

**I've spent the last two days thinking about Heero and Duo and this unholy mess that used to be their relationship, and...**

**How am I remotely qualified to give anyone else advice on their love life? I've had one stable relationship in twenty-four years, and since it ended, I haven't even thought about looking for someone else!**

**And MY PROBLEMS ARE NOT THE ISSUE!**

**I miss him.**

**Why do I keep whining so much lately?**

**Not the issue, not the issue, not the issue...**

**Heero's dealing with the aftermath of his confession to me in his usual fashion, which is to say, like it never happened. I think he does that because he's said it, it's out there, no reason to dwell on it. This is my theory, after years of constant exposure to the inexplicable phenomenon that is Heero Yuy. A mystery wrapped in an enigma inside a conundrum, or something like that.**

**Sometimes I wonder how Relena would have dealt with him, if Duo had been a little less assertive.**

**Of course, having written that, I am now wondering how all our lives would have been different if Duo had been a little less assertive.**

**But then I guess he wouldn't be our Duo.**

**Okay, Trowa, self-honesty time. You did not type "our" in that line the first time through.**

**I miss him.**

**The apartment seems so empty without him. I never noticed it before. It was just... my space, my refuge... now it feels like a prison, even bedecked with festive garlands and enough tacky lights to land a small plane.**

**"You don't HAVE to decorate... "**

**Right, Duo.**

**Sigh.**

**Oh, hell. I'm doing it again.**

**How did we ever get used to life without him around? I'm sitting in the office, under the gentle glow of symmetrically arranged twinkling lights, with friends and coworkers walking and talking around me, and everything seems so... muted. Dull.**

**Maybe I should stop drinking decaf.**

**I wonder what Duo and Quatre are doing right now.**

**I wonder what they've BEEN doing.**

**I wonder what the hell possessed Duo to ask my fucking permission to screw my ex.**

**But then of course my problems are NOT THE ISSUE!!**

**I seem to be a self-centered bastard.**

**I don't know what to do, though. Should I talk to Wufei about it? But it's really Heero and Duo's private business. But I already know about it. And besides, Wufei's one of us, right? So shouldn't we all know? Isn't that what's wrong with us lately, that we don't all know anymore what's going on with each other? Or is it good to have some privacy now that we're older?**

**I am confused.**

**I miss him.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa woke instantly at the sound of the apartment door shutting softly. He slipped one hand to the nightstand, easily locating his gun on the uncluttered surface. Not wanting to sit up, since that would make too much noise and give away his position, he tightened his stomach muscles, rolling his upper body into a semi-upright position. Holding the crunch posture was a definite strain on his abdominal muscles, but alerting an intruder to his presence was unacceptable. He carefully sighted the gun into the lighter rectangle of the doorway into the main room, eyes alert for any shadow of movement.

No shadow entered that space, but a familiar voice crooned softly, "Honey, I'm ho~me." Trowa lowered the gun, flopping back down on the mattress. "Trowa? You up?" Duo called, still speaking softly.

"Yes," Trowa replied, setting the gun back on the nightstand. He heard a soft thud from the kitchen area, probably Duo dropping his bag, and then the shadow he'd been waiting for did appear as Duo padded into the bedroom. The mattress bounced as Trowa's erstwhile roommate threw himself down beside the taller man.

"Hiya, Tro," Duo greeted. Assured that Trowa was awake, he spoke a bit more loudly, but still nowhere near his usual volume. There was just something about a darkened room that encouraged whispering, Trowa supposed.

"It was a good thing you announced yourself, or I might have shot you," Trowa informed him softly, then winced at hearing his own comment. _Welcome back, Duo. I could have killed you just now, you know. Smooth, Trowa._

But Duo only chuckled softly and replied, "I figured I'd wake you coming in, no matter how quiet I tried to be. Heero's the same way, still jumping at every random noise."

"And you sleep like the dead?" Trowa asked, mildly annoyed to find himself in any way alike to Heero in Duo's eyes.

Duo snorted. "Well, okay, so I'm a light sleeper, too. But you guys raise paranoia to an art form."

"Hn," Trowa grunted, then winced again. _Now I **sound** like him, too. _ "So how did the mission go? You're back sooner than I expected," he commented.

Duo pulled the extra pillow out from under the comforter and folded it under his chin. The light from the outer room was barely enough for Trowa to make out the other man's profile. "It went good, actually. The locals were competent, for once. They found the hideout this morning, caught one of the kidnappers there, and got the other on his way back with fast food. The victim was unharmed, and returned to the bosom of his family. It was cool. It's nice when those things work out. I worked one a couple years ago that didn't, and... But that's not something to think about before going to bed," Duo interrupted himself.

Trowa blinked in the darkness, trying to focus on what Duo was saying. The American's voice had taken on that particular rambling tone that they'd all learned over the years was okay to tune out, it was just Duo talking for the sake of making noise. It was a nice noise, though, Duo's soft husky whisper, warming the darkened room, filling up the silence...

Trowa realized Duo had stopped talking and he hadn't said anything in reply. "Um... so... how was your time with Quatre?" he asked. There was silence for a moment. Then Trowa smacked himself in the head, glad for the darkness that hid his blush, and rephrased, "How was... _working_ with Quatre?"

Duo chuckled softly. " _Working_ with Quatre... was fine," he replied slowly, his smile evident in his voice. " _Playing_ with Quatre, on the other hand... " he continued mischievously.

Trowa frowned, one fist tightening around the sheet. _So, they **did**... _ He sighed internally. Had there really been any question? _"Stuff happens... "_ But Duo wouldn't have asked permission if he didn't _intend_ for stuff to happen.

"You know, Tro-chan, I don't think he's quite over you yet," Duo observed thoughtfully.

Trowa's frown deepened. This was the second time someone had told him that. Ken he might have dismissed as not knowing Quatre well enough to judge, but Duo was another story.

"Why do you say that?" Trowa asked curiously. A sudden vengeful, jealous hope flared in him that Quatre had, perhaps, called _his_ name at that certain moment... But no, he wouldn't wish that on Duo.

Duo was shaking slightly. Trowa could feel the vibrations through the mattress.

"Duo?" he asked warily, reaching out a hand and laying it on the other man's trembling shoulders. Was Duo... crying? What the hell had Quatre done? He couldn't imagine the blond being cruel or insulting to Duo, the two had always been good friends... So why was Duo...

A muffled snort escaped the pillow.

... laughing?

"What's so funny?" Trowa asked nervously. Surely Quatre hadn't... shared any embarrassing secrets about him? Almost everything he'd ever done that was embarrassing had been Quatre's damn idea!

Duo lifted his face from the pillow and giggled inanely for a moment. He seemed to get a little control over himself and gasped out, "Oh God... Tro... I _totally_ shouldn't tell you this, but... God, it's just too funny... No, it _isn't_ funny, that's mean... but... oh, man... Won't poor Ken be... disappointed?" This last thought seemed to be too much for Duo, and he dissolved into laughter again, unexpectedly rolling over and pressing his face against Trowa's shoulder to muffle the noise. Trowa was too surprised by the move to take advantage of Duo's position, and then the American rolled away again.

"Why will Ken be disappointed?" Trowa asked, feeling slightly dazed.

Duo was drawing deep breaths, trying to stop his giggles. Finally, he seemed calm again, and answered, "Because... Quatre... oh, God, I really shouldn't be telling you this... but... It seems that... ever since you two broke up... Quatre has been... cut off from the skills of his nomadic heritage," Duo remarked whimsically.

Trowa frowned, utterly confused by this remark. "What?" he asked.

Duo chuckled slightly. "Well, you see," he began, beginning to snicker between words, "apparently... for some time now... he's been unable... to... raise the tent pole... " And with this said, Duo collapsed into helpless laughter once more, again seeking refuge in Trowa's shoulder. Trowa absently patted Duo's head, trying to get his tired mind to decipher the words. _Tent pole? Unable to... raise... ? Oh, no. He couldn't mean..._

"He's _impotent_?" Trowa asked incredulously.

Duo nearly choked on his laughter.

"That's not... funny," Trowa attempted to scold, but he began to sputter on the last word, and soon joined Duo in his amusement. It _wasn't_ funny, but... it _was_.

By the time they both calmed down, gasping for breath and still emitting the occasional chuckle, Duo had rolled over on his back and had somehow trapped Trowa's arm beneath his head.

"We tried, we really did," Duo informed him, sounding weary but amused, "and I've had some experience trying to get a response from the unresponsive. But it was just... not happening," he concluded.

"Poor Quatre," Trowa said, smiling slightly in the dark. "That must have been pretty embarrassing."

"Yeah, not to mention frustrating," Duo added. Then he shrugged. "Oh, well. C'est la vie, I guess."

"Hmm," Trowa murmured. "Why'd you want to sleep with him, anyway?" Then he tensed in surprise, realizing he'd actually asked that question aloud.

Duo rolled to his side, facing Trowa, although they could only see each other's outlines in the darkness. "No particular reason," Duo said quietly. "It's just that... Well, like it was with Wu, I guess," he continued.

Trowa frowned in confusion. "But you said you slept with Wufei because he felt left out, because none of us had ever slept with him," Trowa argued.

"No," Duo corrected, "I said he told me that was how he felt. That wasn't why I slept with him."

"Well, then why did you?" Trowa asked, since he'd already opened the topic up for conversation.

Duo was silent for a moment, long enough that Trowa thought he wasn't going to answer. But then he said quietly, "People are more honest after sex."

"More honest?" Trowa prompted softly.

"Mm," Duo murmured. "There were things I wanted to ask them, and... Well, we're close enough that we should be able to be honest with each other without sex, but... I know I'm not, always. Not completely. And... I wanted to be sure of what they told me."

"What did you want to ask?" Trowa asked curiously, wrapping the arm Duo was lying on around the American's shoulders. Duo reflexively snuggled closer to Trowa.

"Well... I wanted to ask them... why they didn't help me," Duo said quietly.

Trowa pondered that for a moment. "You mean, when you were drinking, or in general?" he probed, gently rubbing Duo's shoulder through the thin cotton of his uniform shirt. Duo shrugged slightly beneath his touch, apparently not wanting to disturb his hand and stop the caress.

"I... both, I guess. But... neither of them seemed to get that there was anything wrong other than the drinking," he replied.

Trowa frowned. "Oh, they knew... we all knew there was something wrong between you and Heero, for a long time. But... we didn't want to step in, I guess. We felt that was a part of your lives that was separate from the rest of us."

"Hm... I guess that's what they meant then, when they said they just accepted that Heero would help me," Duo said slowly.

"Oh. Well. As to that... " Trowa murmured a bit nervously. They were starting to stray into territory he was leery of entering, but couldn't in good conscience walk away from. _I just hope I don't make things worse._

"You see, we... well, obviously we all knew you were in trouble," Trowa began.

Duo snorted. "Yeah, I guess the vodka bottle in the desk was kind of a giveaway," he muttered.

Trowa hugged him slightly with the arm wrapped around his shoulders and continued. "So, eventually, we gathered our collective nerve, and we... chickened out and talked to Heero instead of you," he admitted candidly.

"To Heero?" Duo asked curiously. "He never told me that... "

"I don't imagine he did," Trowa agreed grimly. "Anyway, he told us... He told us that he would take care of the problem, take care of you, and that we shouldn't interfere." Trowa paused a moment, feeling Duo stiffen beside him. "So that's what Wufei and Quatre meant when they said they thought Heero was helping you."

"That son of a bitch," Duo muttered. "He let me think nobody even... God _damn_ him! Jesus, that's _just_ what pisses me off about him, he's such a goddamn control freak, always has to do everything himself, _his_ way ­ "

"To be fair to the goddamn control freak," Trowa interrupted reluctantly, "it _was_ pretty obvious to all of us that whatever he was doing wasn't helping. You weren't getting better, but we still didn't know what to do... I guess we were all getting caught up in this idea that we're grown up now, we're supposed to have our own lives, our privacy, not be getting in each other's space all the time... Hell, I don't know what our excuse was. Maybe we're just a bunch of assholes, and you should go out and find some new, better friends," Trowa concluded bitterly.

Duo rolled over suddenly, throwing himself half on top of Trowa's body. He leaned on Trowa's chest with one hand, bringing his face to within inches of the taller man's in the dark. "Don't _say_ that," Duo snapped, sounding at once angry and unnerved. "Don't _ever_ say that! You guys are my family! You're all I have! You're the only ones who've stayed with me, I don't know what I'd do... without you... " Duo's voice trailed off in a strained whisper, and Trowa could feel him shaking again, but this time it definitely wasn't from laughter.

Confused and concerned, he wrapped his arms around the body looming above him and pulled Duo down on top of him, holding him gently, stroking his back.

"I need you, Tro," Duo whispered, his face pressed against Trowa's neck. "All of you. Even the jackass. That's why I had to go. If I'd stayed any longer, I might have had to hate him, and if that happened, I don't know... I don't know what I'd do."

Trowa held Duo tighter, disturbed by the note of fear in his voice. "It's okay, Duo. It's okay. We're here, and we care about you... and Heero... he's sorry... really... he told me, he didn't mean it, he was just confused and scared and hurt... He... he still loves you... Duo," Trowa assured Duo haltingly. Some of those words hurt to let go, knowing he could never take them back, could never erase them. Duo needed to hear them. But...

He wondered if there were other words he could have said instead.

Duo was quiet and still against him now, apparently pondering the things he'd said.

"How do you know that?" Duo asked finally, his voice blandly inquisitive. "What did he tell you?"

"He told me... " Trowa considered. ‘Everything' might be a misleading answer, considering the disjointed sparseness of Heero's confession. But he didn't feel up to repeating it to Duo word for word. Although he could, if pressed. "He told me he was too hard on you. That it was his fault you started drinking. That he... was cruel to you, because he didn't know how else to reach you, and... he told me he hit you, that last night."

"He just loves to dump his guilt on you doesn't he?" Duo asked coldly.

Trowa frowned, rubbing Duo's back as he pondered this accusation.

Duo sighed, relaxing slightly. "He's such an ass," he muttered wearily. "Everything and nothing is his fault. He's completely to blame for everything bad that happens, but it's always because he doesn't know any other way to be, he doesn't know how to be _human_. What a load of bullshit," Duo spat. "My name's Heero Yuy and I had a crappy childhood, so I'm poorly socialized and can't relate to the rest of human society. Wah wah wah, feel sorry for me!"

"Duo," Trowa said uncertainly, surprised at this tirade.

Duo let out an exasperated huff of breath. "Sorry. I know I'm being a jerk. But... it's always the same excuse, that he doesn't understand human emotions, human interaction... I just don't buy it anymore! He's not an idiot! He's lived among humans for years now! He's interacted with many people! He's had plenty of time to learn... if he wanted to."

"If he wanted to?" Trowa repeated questioningly.

Duo sighed again. "It's easy not to change, Tro. Just to drift through life, never growing, never trying new things, never taking a chance. He was just as unhappy as I was." Duo paused a moment, his arms wrapping lightly around Trowa's chest in a hug. "We were a fine pair," Duo continued softly. "Both of us too scared to grow up... to let go."

Trowa frowned at Duo's words, feeling a chill inside at the idea. "Does growing up _have_ to mean letting go?" he asked worriedly.

Duo was quiet a moment, then replied thoughtfully, "I thought it did. I was afraid it did. I thought that was what it meant, the way we'd all somehow lost that closeness we used to have. That we'd grown up, and we had to accept that we'd grown apart, we had to let go. But, like I said, I was scared of that, so I thought I'd just try and see... if there was anything left. With you... I was pretty sure there was. But the others... I didn't know."

"So you decided to sleep with Wufei and Quatre... to forge a new bond? A new, different relationship, to keep them close?" Trowa asked, reasoning through the idea as he spoke.

Duo seemed to ponder this for a while. "Yeah, I guess maybe I did," he said thoughtfully. "Huh. I hadn't thought about it that way, but... yeah, maybe that was what I was trying to do." He paused, then remarked, "You're a pretty smart guy, Tro!"

Trowa chuckled softly at the compliment. "We're all too smart for our own damn good. Look at the two of us, laying here overanalyzing our pathetic little lives, when we both have to be at work in four hours," he replied.

"Shit! Is it that late?" Duo asked in surprise. "I'm sorry, man! I'll go hit the couch... " he attempted to squirm out of Trowa's embrace, but the taller man didn't loosen his grip. "Tro?" Duo murmured questioningly.

"Could you just stay?" Trowa asked softly.

Duo was silent for a while, then he asked quietly, "Why?"

Trowa pulled the unresisting body closer to him, like a child's doll. "Maybe I'm scared of letting go, too," he whispered against the top of Duo's head.

Duo chuckled softly at his words, but pulled away again. Trowa reluctantly let him go. But instead of leaving, Duo lifted the covers and slipped back in beside Trowa. He settled in quickly, resting his head against Trowa's shoulder. One hand settled on Trowa's chest, and the taller man caught it in his own. Duo squeezed his fingers lightly.

"Nothing to worry about, Tro," he heard Duo whisper as he drifted back to his interrupted sleep. "I'm not going anywhere. And I'm never letting you go."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/17/204

***~*~*~*~***

**Duo was gratifyingly pleased by my efforts at holiday décor. He oohed and aahed and bounced around the apartment plugging everything in while I made us both breakfast. He was excited enough to eat oatmeal without protest.**

**Well, without much protest. At least after I dug out brown sugar and milk for him to smother it with.**

**When did I ever buy brown sugar? I don't remember ever doing such a thing, but when I went looking, there it was, in the depths of a cabinet. Duo said it was one of those things that people always have, even if they don't remember ever buying it. I suppose he's right. Or maybe he bought it while I was away.**

**Anyway, we were both in a good mood this morning. He liked the decorations, and I liked...**

**I liked waking up next to him. I really, really liked it.**

**I turned my alarm off this morning faster than I ever have in my life, even when I've spent sleepless nights and found myself watching the numbers, waiting for the buzz. Today, when I woke up, Duo was curled up against me like a cat, and even as my eyes flew open at the sound of the alarm, he scrunched his nose up and batted at my chest with one hand. He was just too cute for words. My hand slammed down on the clock with the precise aim one can achieve when they have nothing on their nightstand but an alarm clock and a gun. Once the offensive noise was removed, Duo settled again with an unintelligible mumble.**

**So I lay there in bed and played with his hair and decided it wasn't always a bad thing to have my alarm go off a half an hour before I needed to get up.**

**Eventually, the time came, and I woke him. As he'd said the night before, he was a pretty light sleeper. The first semi-firm nudge to his shoulder made his eyes pop open. The alarm clock, he informed me, was a noise he'd long ago learned to tune out, for the most part. Apparently Heero also likes to get up "psychotically early."**

**I really may have to change some of my habits.**

**So we got up, and we managed to share the bathroom without killing each other, which is no mean feat in my apartment. It could only be accomplished, I believe, with someone you get along with REALLY well.**

**We didn't have any problems.**

**So after we showered and dressed, and Duo admired the lights and tinsel, and we ate oatmeal together, we went in to work.**

**We arrived right on time, too.**

**Wufei raised an eyebrow at our obvious shared good mood. I would have denied any of his assumptions... if he'd said anything out loud. But he just smirked and went back to work. Or his personal approximation thereof.**

**Heero... Heero barely glanced at us when we came in, and then buried his head in a file immediately.**

**Duo barely seemed to notice either of our friends' reactions as he launched into an appreciative speech on Wufei's efforts with the office decorations. Wufei came over to bask in the praise, but not long after that Duo was called to Une's office for his debriefing on the case he'd returned from last night. Wufei and I watched him go... and we watched Heero look up from his file and stare pensively after Duo until he was in Une's office.**

**I had forgotten about that for a while.**

**Wufei looked at me with a thoughtfully raised brow.**

**So I decided to drag him into it, too. Why should he get to sleep with Duo and not have to deal with all this emotional crap? I invited him to lunch, just the two of us. He looked intrigued and slightly suspicious, but he accepted without argument.**

**So with that scheduled, I felt perfectly justified in spending the morning sitting at my desk and happily reminiscing about waking up with Duo. I probably had a stupid grin on my face.**

**If Heero's glare was any indication.**

***~*~*~*~***

Wufei choked on his water, his eyes bugging out comically. Trowa smothered a chuckle as the Chinese man fought to regain his composure.

After a few minutes, Wufei heaved a deep sigh, calm once more, and frowned at Trowa. "Really?" he asked disappointedly.

Trowa nodded, picking up his own glass and corralling the straw with one long finger. "Really," he agreed, using his finger to bend the straw downwards in illustration.

Wufei winced and sighed as Trowa took a sip. "Damn," the Chinese man muttered. "There go my plans for the holidays."

Then it was Trowa's turn to choke. When he finally regained his composure, Wufei was smirking at him.

"You're not serious," Trowa stated flatly.

Wufei shrugged, the smirk fading away. "Why not?" he asked, sounding slightly defensive. "We've been friends for a long time. His gentleness... intrigues me. He's always been kind, and he's certainly attractive." Wufei paused for a bite of sushi, chewed thoughtfully a moment, then added, "And Heero and I would kill each other, Duo and I don't have enough in common, and you... " Wufei trailed off, smirking again.

"What about me?" Trowa prompted.

Wufei poked at his lunch with his chopsticks, still smirking. "Well, I just don't think you're interested in _me_ ," Wufei replied.

Trowa frowned slightly, picking up a stray piece of tuna with his chopsticks as he wondered whether he had imagined the slight emphasis on the word "me" in Wufei's statement, and what it meant if he hadn't. Did Wufei think Trowa just wasn't interested in him? Or did he think Trowa was interested in... someone else?

"So what are you going to do about Quatre's... problem?" Wufei asked after a moment.

Trowa frowned at him. "Why should I do anything about it?" he asked in confusion.

Wufei rolled his eyes. "Duo said it was because he was still stuck on you. So obviously unless you do something about it... " Wufei explained insistently.

Trowa shook his head. "Oh, no. It's not my fault. I didn't flip the switch and turn off the testosterone, or whatever it is that causes... that. If the problem is that he's still hung up on me, how would my stepping back into his life help him in any way?" Trowa demanded irritably.

Wufei cocked his head thoughtfully. "You may be right, Barton," he allowed slowly. He took a bite of rice and chewed a moment. Then he remarked casually, "I bet Duo would sleep with me again if I asked him... "

"I'll see what I can do," Trowa snapped, almost breaking his chopsticks as his grip tightened convulsively.

"I knew you would," Wufei proclaimed smugly. Trowa glowered at him.

They ate their lunch for a few minutes.

"So," Wufei finally remarked, "fascinating as this conversation has been so far, I don't think you asked me to lunch to discuss Quatre's... masculine difficulties."

"No," Trowa agreed reluctantly. Despite having decided that Wufei had just as much right to be confused and concerned by everybody else's problems as he was, Trowa had begun to have misgivings again about sharing confidences with the Chinese man. It wasn't that Wufei wasn't discreet... it was just that he was sometimes _selectively_ discreet. If he knew about something that was supposed to be a secret and he decided it shouldn't be, well...

Trowa's concern was that Wufei would listen to what Heero and Duo had told Trowa, then reflect upon it and come to some conclusion... then share that conclusion with everyone concerned. Possibly in the middle of the office Christmas party.

Wufei frowned thoughtfully at Trowa for a moment, then he sighed and smiled ruefully. "I promise to keep my mouth shut. All right?" he asked.

Trowa mirrored Wufei's smile and sighed wearily... then told the Chinese man everything he'd learned since Duo had moved in with him.

By the time he was done, they were on their second pot of tea. Wufei sipped thoughtfully and turned the mug slowly in his hand while he pondered. Trowa took a small sip from his mug and set it down. He really didn't care much for tea, but, when in Rome...

"Well, that's a lovely mess," Wufei finally remarked. "I'm glad he didn't move in with me," he added after a moment, taking another sip of tea.

Trowa frowned at that unhelpful comment.

Wufei shook his head. "I don't know what to tell you, Barton," he said slowly, staring abstractedly at the street through the large front window of the sushi bar. His dark eyes flicked to Trowa and away again, his expression carefully neutral. "Perhaps," Wufei ventured, "it would help if you had... a clearer objective?"

Trowa frowned. "What do you mean, objective?" he asked in confusion.

Wufei smiled patiently at him. "What do you want, Trowa?" he asked quietly. "You tell me all this about Heero and Duo's problems, and you seem to expect some kind of solution from me. But what do you want a solution for? Do you want to figure out how to fix what is wrong between the two of them, or do you want to figure out how to help them put it in the past and move on?"

Trowa's frown deepened. "I... I just want to help hi-them," he stammered.

Wufei's smile twisted slightly. "Do you want to get them back together, or do you want them to get over each other?" the Chinese man clarified.

Trowa felt himself blushing slightly as his subconscious answered the question without a moment's hesitation. But aloud he said, "I just want Duo to be happy. Whatever that takes... that's what I want."

Wufei snorted softly in amusement. "Very altruistic," he murmured mockingly. He finished his tea and set the mug down with an air of finality. He snagged the check off the counter before Trowa could protest, so the taller man walked out to the street to wait while Wufei paid. A few minutes later, the Chinese man stepped up beside him. Wufei stared thoughtfully across the street at a small park where some children were playing under the watchful eyes of their mothers.

"I... appreciate you coming to me for help," Wufei finally remarked, still watching the children. "I'm glad you know I would do my best to help you. Any of you," Wufei continued. He paused a moment and sighed. "But this... " He shook his head, and turned to look at Trowa, dark eyes thoughtful. "You say you want only for him to be happy," Wufei said. "Whatever it takes to accomplish that, you will do." Trowa nodded. Wufei nodded as well, looking back across the street. "In that case," he said calmly, "don't you think it might be wise, before you begin laying plans, to find out exactly what it is he wants?"

Trowa frowned at this statement.

"The fact that Heero regrets his actions and wishes to reconcile, does not necessarily mean that Duo wants to go back to him," Wufei continued. "And the fact that Duo seems to feel the two of them are finished does not necessarily mean he wants to move on."

Trowa's frown deepened. "So you think I should ask him what he wants before I try to figure out what to do?" Trowa asked flatly.

Wufei began walking back to the office, Trowa easily matching his pace. "I don't think you should _do_ anything," Wufei advised.

"Why not? He's my friend, they're both my friends _\--_ " Trowa bristled.

"And it's their problem," Wufei interjected. "They're big boys, Trowa," Wufei continued exasperatedly. "It's past time Yuy got over his fear of his own emotions, and Maxwell stopped running and hiding every time something goes wrong. I think they'll both be better off in the long run if we just let them work it out between them. If we _make_ them work it out between them."

"But... that's what Duo's been talking about, how we don't try to help each other anymore, we don't get involved in each other's lives," Trowa protested.

Wufei rolled his eyes. "So we're not involved in this?" he asked, spreading his hands to indicate the situation in general. "I think we're all _very_ involved. But all we can do is watch, and be there to support them, whatever they choose to do. That's all we _should_ do."

Trowa shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "I suppose... " he murmured, unconvinced. "I just don't know if I can... stay out of it."

Wufei snorted. "Well, of course, _you_ can't," he muttered.

"What's that mean?" Trowa asked, confused. Hadn't Wufei just been telling him not to get involved?

But Wufei only shook his head and advised, as they entered the Preventers building, "Just take care of your own mess, Barton. Clear things up with Quatre, once and for all. Hopefully, by then, Yuy and Maxwell will have come to some resolution, and then you can see how the land lays."

"How the land lays for what?" Trowa snapped. "I'm not setting up an ambush for them! I just want Duo to be happy!"

"With you," Wufei added flatly, turning to regard Trowa calmly.

Trowa flushed, his mouth opening and closing, but no words coming out. He couldn't think of a thing to say to this bald pronouncement.

Wufei nodded slightly, as though he had had something confirmed for him in Trowa's silence. "You all think I'm so oblivious," he mused. "Just because I've never been involved in your little romance-novel melodramas... I've had nothing to do all these years but watch," he informed Trowa grimly. "And from what I've seen, almost all the problems you people have had could have been solved or avoided completely if you'd ever sit down for five minutes and figure out what you really want."

Trowa blinked at him in astonishment. He supposed there was some truth to Wufei's words... Trowa knew that he, at least, was not much given to reflection. A side effect of the life he'd led, where the future was a pipe dream, the present rarely held any stability for long enough to think about it, and it wasn't wise to focus too much on the past. He'd known he was unhappy with Quatre, but he'd never taken the time to think about what would make him happy.

"I do... want to be with him," Trowa murmured quietly, almost talking to himself.

Wufei rolled his eyes. "To quote the man in question, duh!" he agreed.

Trowa scowled at him. "So I can't help him, because I care about him?" he demanded.

Wufei shook his head. "You can't solve the problem between him and Heero. You _can_ support him in whatever his decisions are, even if they're not what you would prefer them to be."

Trowa sighed heavily. "Have I been that obvious?" he asked morosely.

Wufei shook his head, grinning. "Oh, no. At least, not to Maxwell."

"Well, that's something, at least," Trowa muttered. _Pretty pathetic, if my desires were that obvious to everyone but me._

"Look, Barton, I understand your concern, and if it looks like they're going to make a big mess of everything again, then we can all stick our noses in, and probably get them cut off for our trouble. But for now, I think we're all better off dealing with our own issues," Wufei declared.

"I suppose," Trowa agreed reluctantly. "But... " He sighed. "I just... want to do something for him," he murmured unhappily. "And I have no idea what!"

"Just be his friend," Wufei advised. "That's all any of us can do for each other, in the long run. Just be there."

"Where else would I go?" Trowa muttered distractedly.

Wufei smirked at him and walked into the office. Trowa sighed and followed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/22/204

***~*~*~*~***

**Well, I've been trying to follow Wufei's advice. For the past few days, I've been Duo's friend. I have learned that really applying oneself to this activity can be very tiring. We've gone to the movies, we've gone shopping, we've gone out to dinner, we've even gone ice-skating, for God's sake. We've had snowball fights, pillow fights, and one very memorable food fight, which I inadvertently started by remarking on the lumps in the mashed potatoes he'd made. We've sat around my apartment, talking, playing board games and cards, watching the vid, and just staring at the Christmas lights in companionable silence.**

**I am exhausted.**

**Not that I haven't had fun. It's been a great few days, and I really ought to thank Wufei for knocking some verbal sense into me. I mean, what else can I do but be here for Duo? I can't make his decisions for him. Neither of us would like that very much. I'm sure he's had enough of being told what to do, and I'm not exactly unbiased on the matter in question.**

**There's another thing I ought to thank Wufei for, pointing out to me what I was denying to myself. I don't want to be just friends with Duo. I don't want him to get back together with Heero, or find someone new to be happy with, I want him to be with me.**

**But I'm not sure where that came from. I mean, we were always friends, but we were never the closest of the group. Frankly, I thought he was closer to Wufei than to me. But when things started falling apart for him...**

**I guess in a way I understood, better than anyone else could, what it would mean for him to have his relationship with Heero end. We all knew they were having problems, but I don't think Wufei or Quatre ever really understood why it hit Duo so hard.**

**They grew up with homes, families, people who cared for them and took care of them. They never went to sleep at night, as children, on cold ground without a blanket, their bellies aching with hunger, not knowing if they'd live to see the next evening or not. Yes, they had their share of hardships in the war, but we all went through the same crap then. Wufei lost his colony, his home and family, and that has affected him greatly, but he was older when he experienced that loss. He's been able to deal with it, to accept and grieve and move on. It's not the same as never having a real home, never knowing where you came from in the first place. Duo and I... we both briefly found places to belong, when we were little, people who cared... but we lost them. It hurt, and at that age, it scarred. And, I think, we both blame ourselves for our own losses.**

**So here we are, grown men, hung up on childish fears that anyone we get close to will disappear if we turn our backs for a moment, and it will probably be our fault that they do.**

**I've been thinking about this a lot lately.**

**Maybe that was part of my problem with Quatre. Deep down, I never really trusted his commitment, because there was no way he could possibly understand what it meant for me to be with him. I could never entirely trust him, because he didn't UNDERSTAND, he didn't KNOW... And I guess I just got tired, eventually. Tired of having to go out of my way to express my feelings, having to make a big production, when just the fact that I stayed should have told him...**

**I'm not sure what he and Wufei would be like as a couple. I keep thinking about Wufei's explanation of his choice, and it just seems so... unromantic? Odd, for that to bother me. I've never been much for romance. But to sit there and say you've decided to start up a relationship with someone because their kindness intrigues you, and they've always been nice?**

**Obviously, I don't know what the hell I want. I just got done thinking about how Quatre shouldn't have needed anything more than my presence to know I cared, and now I'm complaining that Wufei wants to bang him because he's nice.**

**But maybe... Hmm, this is an interesting thought.**

**Maybe I knew it wasn't... the real thing... with Quatre.**

**I mean, as relationships go, it wasn't much. He was fascinated by how utterly unimpressed I was with his wealth and power, and I was amazed that someone who had a choice would pick me for a companion. We just kind of fell into having sex because, well, it was the middle of a war, adrenaline and knowledge of your own mortality and so forth... Probably a lot of the same reasons Duo and Heero hooked up. And then, when the war ended, we just... didn't. The bond was there, and it was real, but... Maybe I... maybe Duo and I both... clung to the only point of stability we had? Maybe we only thought we were in love because we weren't alone anymore.**

**So I guess that's why I've stayed alone since Quatre and I broke up. I didn't want to be with someone just so I wasn't alone. There's nothing wrong with being alone. But maybe I don't want to be anymore. So why was I so firmly convinced that I couldn't get involved with Duo? As he said, there's nothing wrong with a little casual sex.**

**But casual sex doesn't interest me anymore. I had it for several years. Now I want something deeper. More real.**

**So I guess that's why Wufei's rationale for wanting Quatre bothers me. Does he only intend a casual fling? Or does he think they can build a relationship on the basis of Quatre's kindness?**

**Is that so inconceivable?**

**I guess somehow I've developed this very romanticized notion of what true love should be. I suppose because I know that I didn't have it with Quatre. But... maybe it isn't really about thunderbolts and showers of cherry blossoms, either. Maybe it doesn't hit you like a tidal wave, sweeping you along against your will. Maybe its just being friends long enough to realize that you want to be closer to a gentleness you've always admired, want to take that friendship to a new level of intimacy.**

**Maybe it's being able to share a one-person bathroom without killing each other.**

**Maybe it's when you look up from your desk and meet a certain pair of eyes, just for a moment, see that familiar smile, and you feel a fuzzy warmth inside, and you don't want to analyze it anymore.**

**So I love him.**

**Wow.**

**Does this realization make my situation better or worse? I guess it really doesn't change anything. He still has his own problems to work out, and whatever my personal thoughts on his relationship with Heero, it is his relationship, and his choice what to do to resolve it.**

**I guess this just means I'll be more tense about the outcome.**

**Maybe I shouldn't thank Wufei. Maybe I should deck him.**

**Have to go now, it's time to start setting up for the office Christmas party. Whoopee.**

**Maybe I can manage to corner Duo under the mistletoe in the break room.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa walked up behind Duo, who was leaning over the buffet table, ladling himself a cup of punch. There were two punchbowls on the table, each with a little paper sign taped to them. One sign read "Spiked," the other read "Unspiked." Trowa frowned as Duo filled his cup from the bowl marked "Spiked."

"What are you doing?" Trowa asked worriedly.

Duo smirked at him over his shoulder. "Silly Trowa," the American chided. "I switched the signs an hour ago."

Trowa blinked in surprise, then gazed thoughtfully at his own half-full cup.

"No wonder I've started to feel fuzzy," he remarked. Duo giggled, sipping at his punch as he turned back to face the room.

The overhead lights were off, the office lit only by the soft glow of the colored lights strung from the ceiling. Since the office decorations had long been Duo's responsibility, there was plenty of light to see by. Preventers were milling around, sipping punch, talking, eating, sitting on desks and chairs, leaning against the occasional large support beams spaced throughout the open room. Near Duo's desk, Trowa could see a game of Nerf basketball was in progress around the hoop the American had installed just days ago.

"And you've hardly drunk any," Duo pointed out. It took Trowa a moment to recall the statement Duo was replying to. "I wonder how much Ken put in?" he wondered aloud.

Trowa frowned. "It's supposed to be rum punch," he said. "I think there's about a cup of rum in it."

"Well, yeah, a cup of the rum," Duo agreed distractedly, "but I mean how much vodka did Ken add to it?"

Trowa's eyes widened. "Ken spiked the spiked punch?" he demanded.

Duo grinned at him. "Well, it was my idea," he admitted modestly. Trowa rolled his eyes.

Wufei walked up to them, raised an eyebrow at Duo's wide grin, and stepped up to the buffet table. He hesitated a moment, then dipped punch from the "spiked" bowl. He turned back and smirked at Duo. Duo stuck his tongue out at Wufei.

"So predictable, Maxwell," Wufei said mournfully, shaking his head.

"Oh, you're no fun," Duo groused. Then he brightened. "Heero and Quatre, on the other hand... " he drawled triumphantly.

Trowa surreptitiously set his cup down on a nearby desk, resolving to drink water for the rest of the evening.

"Quatre doesn't surprise me, but Heero?" Wufei was asking interestedly.

Duo rolled his eyes. " _Soooooo_ fucking literal-minded," he explained. "It _says_ unspiked, it must _be_ unspiked. You'd think the perfect soldier would be a little more aware of that kind of thing, wouldn't you?"

Wufei smirked again. "Maybe he is aware," he suggested. "Maybe he plans to take advantage of his inebriated state to make an ass of himself in an excusable manner. After all, "I was drunk" is always a great excuse," he pointed out.

Duo's eyes widened in apprehension. "Damn, Wupert, you might have something there," he muttered.

"Wupert?" Wufei sputtered, face reddening.

Duo grinned at him, his worry momentarily forgotten. "Oh, you like that one, Wupert?" he asked brightly.

"You realize that one day there will be a reckoning for all the injustices you have visited upon me," Wufei announced flatly.

"Whatever you say, Wupert!" Duo replied cheerfully. Wufei shot him a simmering glower and sipped slowly at his punch.

"Oh, look, karaoke," Trowa pointed out desperately, hoping to distract the two before Duo pushed Wufei to violence. It wouldn't be the first time, and Une would not be pleased if they trashed the office.

Duo immediately lost interest in baiting Wufei at Trowa's pronouncement. "Cool! I can't believe Ken got one!" he declared happily. "I was sure they'd all be rented by now, I mean, everybody's having their Christmas parties this week!"

"Maybe everyone else has taste and common sense," Wufei remarked, still sounding a bit annoyed over the Wupert thing. Duo was beyond that now, though, and too excited by the new topic to be bothered by Wufei's irritation.

"Oh, don't be such a wet blanket!" Duo scolded cheerfully. "It's fun! And I love watching people get up and make fools of themselves!" He chuckled gleefully at the thought. "I wonder if the office security cameras are running," he mused to himself, glancing up at the ceiling, where small red lights indicated that yes, anyone who found the nerve in the "unspiked" punch bowl to serenade their coworkers was going to be immortalized on film.

It was only minutes before Quatre came running up, face flushed pink and eyes sparkling dangerously. Or drunkenly. As far as Trowa was concerned, a drunk Quatre was a dangerous Quatre.

He was proven correct in this assessment when Quatre demanded, "Trowa! Sing with me!"

Trowa said firmly, "No."

Quatre's smile dissolved in an almost comic expression of dismay. Tears shimmered in his wide sea-blue eyes. "But Trooooo~waaaaaaa," he whined.

"No," Trowa repeated. "I'm not drunk enough to sing karaoke, Quatre."

Quatre pouted. "I'm not drunk either," he protested, entirely untruthfully, from what Trowa could tell.

"Oh, I'm afraid you are, Q," Duo informed him gently.

Quatre frowned. "But I've only been drinking the unspiked punch," he protested.

"Well, actually, I think somebody switched the signs," Duo told him confidentially.

Quatre's eyes went wide in shock. "Really? But who would do such a thing?" the Arabian demanded.

Duo shook his head. "I don't know, Quatre," he said.

"Obviously some depraved moron," Wufei observed, earning an enthusiastic nod of agreement from Quatre and a smirk from Duo.

"Trowa won't sing with me," Quatre complained, abruptly returning to the previous subject, the tears reappearing in his eyes. "I just want somebody to sing with me," he whimpered, looking utterly forlorn. He turned shimmering puppy dog eyes on Trowa, but Trowa was unmoved. He was as immune to Quatre's tears as Duo was to Heero's glares.

Duo was another story. He'd always been something of a pushover for Quatre. "I'll sing with you, Quatre," he offered.

"No, I will," Wufei cut in sharply.

Duo frowned at him. "What happened to taste and common sense?"

"They take a back seat to my hormones," Wufei muttered to Duo while Quatre trotted over for another fortifying cup of punch.

"You can both sing with me!" Quatre declared happily. "There's three parts!"

Wufei looked suddenly nervous. Hormones only took a man so far, Trowa supposed.

"Uh... what song did you have in mind, Quatre?" Duo asked, grinning at Wufei's expression.

"Love Shack," Quatre responded happily.

Duo burst out laughing. Wufei looked confused. "Do I know that song?" he asked.

Duo nodded, still laughing. "You should, Wu-chan. It's one of the ones you were always yelling at me to turn down."

Now Wufei looked really nervous. Duo and Quatre each grabbed one of his arms and dragged him off toward Ken's desk, where the machine was being set up. A few minutes later, Trowa watched in bemusement as all three clambered up on top of the desk, holding microphones. A loud cheer went up from the rest of crowd. Duo and Quatre waved cheerfully. Wufei tried to hide behind Quatre, without looking like he was hiding.

The music started up, and Duo started singing, "If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says fifteen miles to the ­ "

"LOVE SHACK!" Quatre screeched happily, causing Wufei to wince. "Love shack, yeah yeah... "

Trowa leaned against a desk and crossed his arms over his chest, smiling at the spectacle of his friends making idiots of themselves. He was glad he wasn't up there, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Quatre loved being the center of attention, and Duo was a born exhibitionist. Even Wufei, driven perhaps by the challenge to please Quatre, was getting into the act, although he had to watch the prompter pretty closely. Quatre and Duo apparently knew the song by heart. Not surprising, really. They'd all been forcibly exposed to Duo's vast repertoire of American pop music from the 1980's Before Colony. He had to admit, there was something catchy about the sound, which seemed to keep it popular even so long after the songs were first written.

Trowa was jarred from his ruminations by Quatre screaming, "TIIIIIIIIN ROOF! Rusted." He shook his head, smiling at Duo and Quatre hamming it up as the song wound down. Their audience applauded loudly as they clambered down to the floor, and some other hapless idiot took their place, perhaps inspired by their performance.

As he watched the little group making their way back towards his position, Trowa suddenly became aware that Heero was standing next to him.

"Heero... great party, huh?" Trowa asked awkwardly. Heero wore his typical scowl, and didn't even look at Trowa when he spoke. The Japanese man just swallowed his remaining half cup of punch, then turned and stalked over to the buffet table. Trowa watched him rather unsteadily ladle out a cup of the "unspiked" punch, spilling much of it over his hand and staining his sleeve. He didn't seem to notice, or care, which was unlike Heero.

"Uh, Heero... you know, I think those signs are wrong," Trowa advised hesitantly. Heero shot him a vicious glare. Trowa raised his hands in a placating gesture and turned away from the Japanese man.

When Duo and the others finally made it back, laughing and patting each other on the back, Trowa looked over to the table again, but Heero was gone.

Then Duo latched onto his arm and began babbling about the experience, with frequent interruptions from Quatre and snide remarks from Wufei, who was doing his best not to grin. Trowa was distracted from worrying about Heero... until Duo suddenly went very still beside him. Trowa looked down at his houseguest, to see Duo staring in wide-eyed trepidation in the general direction of Ken's desk.

Trowa looked over, and saw Heero standing on the desk, microphone in hand, swaying slightly.

"Whoa, he is _trashed_ ," Duo murmured to himself. "What's he gonna... " Duo's voice trailed off as music started playing. His eyes went even wider. "Oh... my... God," he said slowly. "I know that song... "

Trowa didn't know the song, but it was obvious from Duo's expression that whatever it was, it wasn't good. The intro music was slow, almost mournful...

Then Heero began singing.

Off key.

In very heavily accented English.

"I hear you're taking the town again  
Having a good time  
With all your good time friends  
I don't think that you think of me  
You're on your own now  
| And I'm alone and free  
I know that I should get on with my life  
But a life lived without you could never be right  
As long as the stars shine down from the heavens  
As long as the rivers run to the sea  
I'll never get over you getting over me... "

Quatre looked like he was going to cry. "That's so sad," he murmured, glancing not-so-covertly at Trowa. Wufei was gleefully snickering beside him. Duo looked like he couldn't decide whether to be amused or horrified.

"I can't believe he's doing this," Duo murmured. "I can't believe I'm watching... It's like watching a mime get beaten to death. Horrifying yet strangely fascinating... and in some very sick way, kind of funny... "

Trowa frowned dubiously at that comment, then found his own eyes drawn back to the spectacle of Heero passionately belting out lovesick pop lyrics.

"I try to smile so the hurt won't show  
I tell everybody  
I was glad to see you go  
But the tears just won't go away  
Loneliness found me  
Looks like it's here to stay  
I know that I ought to find someone new  
But all I've found is myself always thinking of you  
As long as the stars shine down from the heavens  
As long as the rivers run to the sea  
I'll never get over you getting over me  
Oh, no matter what I do  
Each night's a lifetime to live through  
I can't go on like this  
I need your touch  
You're the only one I've ever loved... "

Duo had his hands over his face now, but was peeking out between his fingers. "Oh, just stop," he murmured pleadingly, his voice muffled by his hands. Wufei was shaking his head in amazement, smirking. Quatre was crying softly.

Trowa was disgusted.

"As long as the stars shine down from the heavens  
As long as the rivers run to the sea  
I'll never get over you getting over  
Never get over you getting over...   
I'll never get over you getting over me... "

His song completed, Heero dropped the microphone to the desk, causing a loud squeal of feedback. Everyone exclaimed at the noise, glad of the distraction from Heero's spectacle. The whole room began noisily talking at once, ignoring the lone figure still swaying on Ken's desk. Only the Gundam contingent watched as Heero jumped to the floor, just barely keeping his balance, and staggered out of the room.

"Oh... hell," Duo muttered irritably. "So much for enjoying the party." Tossing his head in a gesture that would have made his braid flop over his shoulder if it were still there, he stalked off in the direction Heero had taken.

Trowa watched him go with an unhappy little frown, noted by Wufei. The Chinese man raised an eyebrow at him, but Trowa didn't know what Wufei was asking with the gesture, so instead he patted Quatre's shoulder as the blond rubbed at his wet cheeks.

"Poor Heero," Quatre murmured sadly. "I know just how he feels," he added, casting a significant glance at Trowa.

 _Oh, hell_ , Trowa thought miserably. _I'm not in the mood for this..._

Wufei sighed at Quatre's words, then shrugged philosophically and wandered off.

 _Thanks, Wu_ , Trowa thought bitterly, watching his one hope desert him. He met Quatre's watery gaze, and wished he'd had more punch.

_I hate my life._

***~*~*~*~***

**Why did I let him take my car?**

**I'm glad I'm not stuck on the graveyard shift tonight. That would suck, to have your whole day of work ahead of you after the Christmas party. They probably have it a little better than the folks stuck with straightening up, though. It's damn depressing to be on the clean up crew for a party. Of course, I'm not with that bunch either, but I am stuck sitting here, waiting for Duo to return with my car, so I get to share in the weary, reflective state of my few remaining coworkers.**

**None of them are people I know very well, but it doesn't really matter. We're not talking. A couple of people are picking up stray cups and napkins, another is packing up the karaoke machine, and a few more are finishing the job started by the rest of the partygoers by completely tearing down the festive streamers.**

**Not the tinsel. No one would dare touch Duo's precious tinsel. But the red and green paper streamers have been shredded.**

**I don't know why people always do that to paper streamers. It's not like the party ever got that wild. Probably the high point was Duo, Quatre and Wufei singing "Love Shack." It kind of went downhill from there, what with Heero's little performance...**

**If he throws up in my car, I'll kill him. I don't care how unresolved Duo is about him.**

**Not that I don't feel some sympathy for my housemate. This seems to have been the night for dealing with overly emotional ex-boyfriends.**

**You know, I would have thought having relationships with men would let a person avoid all these tears and irrationality... Guess not. Maybe that was chauvinistic. Maybe I'm turning into Wufei.**

**Maybe I SHOULD turn into Wufei. He went home an hour ago with the slutty blond chick from accounting. His philosophy, apparently, is that he's not involved with Quatre yet, so he's not counting his chickens... or wasting time sitting on eggs.**

**At least I managed to avoid a weepy, drunken confession of devotion from everybody's favorite former billionaire. I really thought I was trapped, but then Ken wandered up, and Lo! I was Saved! I managed to foist Quatre off on the poor deluded boy. I think he ended up driving Quatre home not long after.**

**I hope he wasn't expecting to get lucky. A drunken Quatre swiftly turns into an unconscious Quatre, in my experience. Usually as soon as he's horizontal. So unless Ken's a bit more desperate than I think...**

**Eew. That was an unpleasant visual.**

**Okay, so I managed to escape a discussion about our relationship tonight, but I didn't completely evade him. Before he'd let me slip away, I was forced to promise we WOULD get together some time, just the two of us, to TALK.**

**Is there any more unsettling word in any language to hear from one's ex?**

**So, anyway... I got stuck with this unspecified chat date with Quatre, and Duo, looking frazzled, came asking for my keys a few minutes later. Oh yeah, now I remember why he wanted my car. Apparently Heero's car is a stick shift, and Duo can't drive it.**

**Actually, I'm not sure I buy that. I don't think there are many vehicles in existence Duo couldn't drive if he wanted. Well, I'm sure I can drag an explanation out of him when he gets back.**

**Which should be any time now...**

**The clean-up crew is leaving. The place is still a semi-wreck, but they're tired. The unlucky folks stuck on graveyard shift have asked them to leave the fluorescents off, though, so the room is still lit only by the soft red glow of the Christmas lights.**

**And Duo just walked in the door.**

***~*~*~*~***

Duo strolled down the aisle between desks, grabbing the chair from the desk across from Trowa's and dragging it over next to the taller man's desk. He dropped into the chair, propping one elbow on the desk and his chin in his hand, sighing heavily and rolling his eyes.

Trowa leaned back in his chair, raising an eyebrow in silent question.

"He decorated," Duo informed Trowa lightly.

Trowa frowned, trying to picture that.

Duo snorted at his expression. "It looks very... precise," he said with a smirk.

"I can only imagine," Trowa replied flatly, smirking back at Duo.

Duo dragged himself to his feet with a grunt. "Let's get out of here," he muttered, carelessly shoving his borrowed chair back towards it's desk. Trowa rose and pushed the chair back under the desk, then followed Duo to the door.

"It's snowing," Duo remarked quietly as they walked down the deserted corridors to the garage.

"Roads slippery?" Trowa asked.

"Nah, they're not bad. I didn't have any trouble," Duo replied. They walked in silence for a while, finally emerging into the nearly empty garage.

"You want to drive?" Duo asked, fishing Trowa's keys out of his pocket. Trowa shrugged disinterestedly. "Okay, I will then," Duo said, walking to the driver's side of Trowa's car. He unlocked the doors and they climbed in, putting on seatbelts and waiting a moment for the defroster to kick in and unfog the windshield.

"Can't drive a stick shift, huh?" Trowa asked while they waited.

Duo shot him a funny look, then grinned in understanding. "Oh, that. Well... I guess I could, but... I just didn't want to take his car, and I didn't want to get into a big explanation about why at the time... "

"You didn't have to explain," Trowa told him. "I wasn't going to argue with you about it."

"Oh," Duo said, sounding surprised. He grinned sheepishly. "Heh. Sorry, I don't know why I thought... but anyway. Thanks for the loaner."

"Sure," Trowa said, fiddling with a loose button on his coat as Duo shifted into reverse and backed the car out of it's spot. As they pulled out of the garage onto the street amidst gently falling snow, Trowa asked, "So why didn't you want to take his car?"

Duo sighed, concentrating on the road as he drove. "Well... I'm occasionally susceptible to logic," he admitted.

"What?" Trowa asked in confusion.

Duo shot him a quick smirk as they stopped at an intersection. "It's late, it's snowing, you had your own car... If I'd taken him home in his car, it would have made more sense for me to spend the night there. And I didn't want to do that," he explained.

Trowa frowned out the windshield. "Why are you so afraid of being alone with him?" he asked. When Duo didn't answer for a moment, Trowa looked over to see the American staring at the road with a grim expression. "You told me, that time at my apartment, that if you were alone, you would have gone home with him," he continued, when Duo didn't say anything. "Is that still true?"

Duo sighed, obviously not pleased with this line of discussion. "Maybe," he admitted quietly.

"Aa," Trowa murmured in acknowledgement.

Duo looked over at him, frowning. "Aa? What the hell does that mean?" he snapped.

Trowa shrugged. "It means, I heard what you said," he replied calmly.

"Well, what do you think of it?" Duo demanded.

"Of what?" Trowa asked warily.

"Of what I said," Duo said tightly.

Trowa shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "What do you think of it?"

Duo swore under his breath.

"Duo... " Trowa said placatingly, "I don't know what you're getting upset about here. I just asked a question."

"Why did you ask?" Duo shot back.

"Because... I wanted to know," Trowa replied, frowning slightly.

Duo took a deep breath and let it out in a huff, relaxing a bit. "Why did you want to know?" he asked calmly.

Trowa leaned his head back against the seat and pondered that question for a moment. "Because you're my friend," he said slowly. "Because I care about you, and that means I worry about you... And you've been acting kind of... weird... about Heero since you got back."

"What do you mean, weird?" Duo asked.

Trowa sighed. "Well, you've been avoiding him as much as possible. And when it isn't possible, you're snippy with him. And whenever he comes up in conversation, you make some snide remark about him," he explained.

Duo took one hand off the wheel to fumble on the seat beside him near his hips. _Looking for the braid again. I wonder what he did with it when he cut it off? Did he keep it?_

"We broke up," Duo muttered. "And it wasn't a nice break-up. You know that. You're saying I should just forget it and be all buddy-buddy with him?"

"I'm not saying anything about how you should act with him," Trowa said calmly. "It's not my place to tell you how to treat him. I'm just... I wish I hadn't wasted so much time being angry at Quatre," Trowa admitted. "I wasn't happy about the way our relationship ended, and because of that, I missed out on a year of friendship with him because I was too busy being bitter. That's a year I'll never have back. I just don't want you to regret wasting time like I did."

"Well, I won't," Duo snapped. "I won't regret it, because I'm not wasting it. You guys don't know Heero the way I do. He doesn't always get stuff that isn't what he thinks it should be. You have to whack him over the head with reality for a while before it sinks in sometimes."

"Oh. Well, okay. I guess you know better than I do how to deal with him," Trowa said.

"You don't sound convinced," Duo accused.

Trowa shrugged.

"Oh, not this again!" Duo yelled, sliding into a parking spot near Trowa's building. He slammed the car into park and practically ripped the keys out of the ignition. Then he turned in his seat to scowl at Trowa, flinging the seatbelt off his shoulder. "If you've got something to say, just say it!" he demanded.

Trowa sighed, also taking off his seatbelt and turning to face Duo. He considered for a moment, then asked flatly, "If you're so certain you don't want to be with him, why do you need to avoid him so much?"

Duo blinked at him in surprise. "I... " He stopped and bit his lip, looking down at the bench seat between them. "Why did you move to this place?" he asked abruptly. "After you and Quatre broke up, you never wanted to hang out with the rest of us. Why did you want to avoid him?"

Trowa frowned. "That was... it wasn't really about Quatre. I mean, partly it was, because I was angry at him. But moving here, not spending time with the rest of you... I guess... I didn't want to be with somebody just so I wasn't by myself," Trowa admitted, recalling what he'd written earlier in his journal. "I never used to mind being alone, and I thought it would be... nice... for a while. But in the end, I really started to miss all of you. I was lonely... I just didn't know it." _Until you came back_ , he added silently. _Until you moved into my tiny little apartment and filled it up with life and warmth..._

"Oh," Duo said thoughtfully. He continued to stare at the seat, that questing hand finally giving up it's futile search and reaching to tug at his bangs instead. "Well, I guess... I guess I'm not as strong as you, Tro," he admitted bitterly.

Trowa frowned. "What do you mean, strong?"

Duo sighed. "I _do_ want to be with someone... so I'm not by myself. I hate being alone. I can't stand it. That's why it got so bad for me, with Heero. Toward the end, he just started to shut me out, to ignore me, more and more. He couldn't deal with my moods, my emotions, my demands on him, so he just... tuned me out. And I couldn't stand that. I don't want to go back to that. But... at least I wasn't really alone, when I was with him. At least there was somebody there. Another body in bed with me. I really hate sleeping alone. So I guess... I guess I would go back with him, even knowing it wouldn't work out, even knowing I'd end up miserable again, because at least I know he wants me. He may not love me... not the way I want him to... but he wants me."

Trowa closed his eyes, pondering Duo's words. Fear of being alone? Yes, he supposed he could see that in Duo. Tough and self-sufficient as the American could be, he was by nature a social creature. He liked to be surrounded by friends, talking, laughing, touching... never alone.

No, he couldn't picture Duo being happy alone.

"But he's not your only choice for companionship," Trowa argued softly, his eyes sliding open again. He watched Duo thoughtfully as the shorter man just kept staring at the car seat. "You have friends... lots of them, but particularly Wufei and Quatre and... me," he pointed out.

Duo sighed heavily. "Yeah, I get what you're saying, Tro, but... Well, I'm not really looking for... just... friendship, if you know what I mean," he said dryly. "But I don't just want sex, either. Towards the end, that was about all I had with Heero. That last night... I think I could have been a blow-up doll and he would have had about the same experience. Trowa, I want... What I mean is... " Duo trailed off, sighing again. "Forget it," he muttered, abruptly opening the door and climbing out of the car. Trowa frowned, following quickly.

"What do you mean? What do you want?" he asked, a bit breathlessly, when he caught up to Duo at the apartment door. Duo could climb the creaky old stairs of Trowa's building in a hurry when he wanted. Trowa watched as Duo fumbled with the keys, trying to open the door. He reached out and curled his hand over Duo's, feeling the cold fingers tremble against his palm. Gently, he took the keys and opened the door, motioning Duo inside. Duo stepped into the apartment, arms wrapped around his own torso. Trowa followed him in and shut the door, reaching for the light switch.

Before his fingers could find it in the dark, though, Duo's arms wrapped around his waist in a tight embrace, and Trowa felt the shorter man's face pressed to his chest. Duo wasn't crying, but he was trembling slightly, all over. Trowa forgot about the light switch and wrapped his arms around Duo instead.

"I just want to be happy," Duo whispered in the darkness. "Is that... so much to want?"

Trowa gently stroked the back of Duo's head for a moment. "It's not much at all," he replied quietly.

He loosened his embrace, pulling away slightly. He felt Duo raise his head in surprise at the movement. Trowa's eyes began to adjust to the darkness, letting him find Duo's face, looking up at him. Duo had always had good night vision.

Trowa cupped one of Duo's smooth cheeks in his hand. His other hand slipped down to the small of Duo's back, pressing their lower bodies together.

"Not much at all," he repeated softly as he bent down, his lips brushing against Duo's as he spoke.

And then Trowa closed that last distance between them.

Duo didn't seem particularly surprised by the kiss. In fact, he participated enthusiastically, opening immediately to the gentle pressure of Trowa's tongue on his lips. Trowa had intended to keep the kiss light, but Duo's surrender sent a wave of warmth rushing through him, and he found himself thrusting hungrily into Duo's warm mouth. Duo returned the kiss with equal passion, moaning softly into Trowa's mouth.

But then suddenly, the shorter man broke away, pulling out of Trowa's embrace.

Trowa could hear Duo gasping softly after his breath, but he could barely see the other man's outline in the darkened apartment. He couldn't see Duo's face, his eyes, anything that might give him a clue what he had done wrong.

"Oh... God... no... I can't," Duo gasped, backing further into the apartment. Trowa held his ground, not wanting to upset his friend further. "I'm sorry, Tro, I'm... really sorry... " Duo apologized miserably.

"What are you apologizing for? _I_ kissed _you_ ," Trowa pointed out. He winced, hearing the snappish tone of his voice.

"I know, but... but this... it wouldn't be... " Trowa heard the creak of the bathroom door as Duo reached that dubious sanctuary. A moment later, he heard the door shut. He flicked on the overhead light, and saw no sign of Duo.

He sighed and walked over to lean on the bathroom door. "Duo?" he asked worriedly.

"Please, Tro... If we did this now... it would be about him. I don't want to do that to you," Duo said quietly, his voice muffled by the wood.

Trowa sighed again, feeling a sort of déjà vu in the situation. Duo, hiding in the bathroom because of Heero. Yes, they had played this scene before. "Duo, please come out," he requested gently.

"I don't think so," Duo replied warily. "Just go to bed. I'll be okay. I just... need to think, okay?"

Trowa frowned, but he really couldn't argue with that. Duo did need to think, that much was obvious from their conversation in the car. "All right," he said reluctantly. "But I'm here if you need me. And Duo... "

"What?" Duo asked after a moment of silence.

Trowa pushed away from the door, walking a few steps before pausing to look back at it. "You... don't have to sleep alone, if you don't want to. Just to sleep. I wouldn't mind." He waited a moment, until Duo's soft, "Thanks," indicated he had been heard. Then he turned and went into his room, leaving the door open behind him.

He waited for hours, long after he heard the bathroom door open and the couch springs squeak, but Duo never came in.

[[part 9](http://raygunworks.net/aoe/stuck/stuck9.html)] [[back](http://raygunworks.net/aoe/stuck/stuck1x.html)] [[part 11](http://raygunworks.net/aoe/stuck/stuck11.html)] [[back to Aoe's fic](http://raygunworks.net/aoe.html)]


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/23/204

***~*~*~*~***

**Two more days until Christmas.**

**December has gone by so fast! I can't believe it's already the 23 rd. All the lucky bastards here at Preventer Central are gone on their vacations. You have to put in your request on the first of January to get Christmas off, and then you have to hope, pray, beg, and sacrifice a chicken to the Gods of Scheduling.**

**We never put in for vacation. It's not like we have families we need to spend time with. Well, Quatre does, but when your family is as big as Quatre's, and includes so many older sisters who'd just love to see you settled down with a nice girl, you're more likely to be looking for excuses not to spend too much time with them. For the rest of us, we just kick back at work, not doing much. Sometimes there is some kind of emergency at Christmas, but not usually. The wars left that much of an impression on people, at least. They tend to leave Christmas alone.**

**So, here I am, sitting at my desk, doing my damndest not to think about last night. It's a popular activity today. Duo's been engaging in it since he woke up, and Heero seems to have taken it a step further and is pretending today isn't even happening. He's been hiding behind his computer all day, looking very industrious. Anyone foolish enough to wander up with the apparent intention of teasing him about his new singing career has been glared into retreat.**

**Well, except Wufei. He wandered in to work a half hour late today, looking profoundly pleased with himself, and immediately walked over to Heero's desk. He leaned over it, gave his best smarmy grin, and informed Heero "confidentially" that he knew a few people in the recording industry who might want to meet with him. Because it's not every man who can properly evoke that, I believe the phrase was, "mooncalf adolescent girl mood."**

**Sometimes I really wonder how Wufei has lived this long. Probably because he can run very fast. He passed my desk at about mach five, grinning like a madman.**

**He is absolutely intolerable when he's gotten laid.**

**Or maybe I'm just bitter.**

**So, aside from Wufei, everybody seems to be ignoring last night completely... except for one thing.**

**Quatre quite clearly remembers me agreeing to TALK with him. Although he claims he doesn't remember weeping over Heero's karaoke debut.**

**Whatever.**

**Young Ken seems a bit disenchanted with Master Quatre today. Poor kid. I bet he got an earful last night, from the dirty looks he's been throwing me. He doesn't look as angry as he once would have been, though. It's really almost like it's just a reflex reaction. Maybe he's finally wising up.**

**Like I'm one to talk about wising up.**

**So what the hell went wrong last night? I've been trying not to think about it, trying to just dismiss it as Duo being worked up over Heero, but...**

**He kissed me back. I know he did, I was there. So why the sudden coy act? Duo's many things, but "coy" has never been one of them.**

**Maybe I just jumped the gun a little. I mean, I KNOW he still has Heero issues. It's not like he's going anywhere, I have plenty of time to wait until he's ready...**

**Except that we keep getting these paychecks. And sooner or later, he'll save up enough money for a deposit on his own place, and... I don't want him to leave. I don't want to be alone again.**

**I mean, it's not like he's said anything about leaving. And after our conversation last night, maybe it's completely irrational of me to be afraid he will. He doesn't want to be alone. No, he CAN'T be alone. He can't stand that. So why would he move out to his own place, when I'm perfectly content to let him stay with me?**

**Unless I freaked him out with my advances...**

**No! Damn it, HE KISSED ME BACK!**

**We've got to be getting our signals crossed somewhere. I'm not with Quatre, and he's not with Heero, and neither of us wants to be alone, and we like spending time with each other... It just seems so obvious to me. Which I guess is why I can't figure out what's keeping him from seeing things like I**

***~*~*~*~***

"Earth to Trowa... "

Trowa jumped in his chair and immediately closed his word file at the sound of Duo's voice beside him. He spun his chair around to blink in surprise at the shorter man.

Duo smiled back quizzically. "Whatcha working on so diligently, Tro? You didn't even hear me walk up and say hi!"

"I... uh... nothing," Trowa managed finally. He shook his head to dislodge his shock at allowing someone, even Duo, who was very good at it, to sneak up on him, and managed a smile of his own. "What can I do for you?" he asked.

Duo blushed, looking suddenly sheepish as he dropped his eyes to Trowa's desk. "Um... well... I was thinking about last night," he began hesitantly

"What about last night?" Trowa asked, impressed at how calm his own voice sounded.

Duo glanced quickly up at him, then away again. "Well, I was thinking... that I never got around to telling you what I promised Heero," he explained in a rush.

Trowa frowned. He didn't want to hear anything about Heero in relation to last night. And for Duo to have promised the Japanese man something... "What promise?" Trowa asked warily.

Duo bit his lip a moment, then ran a hand through his short hair and muttered, "Well, he was really upset by the time I got him back to his place, and then he was... sick, and... I felt bad, and I asked him why he was so freaked, and... " Duo paused and heaved a heavy sigh. "The thing is... that stupid party of Relena's is tonight. You know, the one she gives every year? And she always invites Heero... and I always go with him. I guess it occurred to him that I probably hadn't planned on accompanying him this year, and he just... totally lost it. And I can understand why. I mean, even when we were together, she was still on him like white on rice all night... He can't refuse to go, because a lot of our funding comes from the guests, and they like to have their little yearly chat with "the hero of the Gundam wars", so... " Duo shrugged helplessly.

Trowa frowned at him. "So you promised him... ?" he prompted.

"I... kind of said... I'd go with him," Duo admitted, blushing slightly.

"Okay," Trowa said flatly. "Let me see if I have this straight. You're going to a formal Christmas Party tonight, as the date of the man you were just last night telling me you don't want to get back together with."

Duo nodded wordlessly.

"The guy you're afraid you _will_ go back to, just to be with somebody. This is the guy you're going to spend the evening defending from the advances of the very pushy woman who wants him to father her children," Trowa clarified.

"Uh... yeah," Duo agreed, sounding abashed.

"Sounds like fun," Trowa muttered.

Duo gave him a pleading look. "C'mon, Tro, don't be an ass about it... You're the one that told me I shouldn't waste time avoiding him cuz he's still my friend... "

"And you're the one that told me you _had_ to avoid him so he would get the message that the two of you aren't a couple anymore. I'm just wondering how going on a date with him will help make that clear," Trowa wondered thoughtfully.

Duo sighed, shoulders slumping as he rolled his eyes. " _Tro_ wa," he whined, "it doesn't mean anything, it's just ­ "

"Duo, can I ask you something?" Trowa interrupted, frowning slightly as an odd thought occurred to him.

"Sure, what?" Duo asked, apparently glad to let go of the previous topic.

"Why do you care about my reaction to this?" Trowa asked curiously. "I mean, it's not like we had plans or anything. Why are you trying to justify it to me?"

Duo frowned. "Well, I mean... after last night... uh, the stuff I said last night, I mean... I just thought you deserved an explanation. I mean, if you don't care ­ "

"I care, I care," Trowa interjected, quick to nip that thought in the bud. "I'm just wondering... if you do."

"Huh?" Duo asked blankly.

Trowa sighed. "Maybe a better question would be... do you want me to care? Do you want it to bother me that you are, for all intents and purposes, going on a date with Heero?"

Duo frowned again. "No, I don't want it to bother it you, because it's not a date," he said firmly. "I just want to completely emphasize that very important point, here. It's _not_ a _date_."

"Okay," Trowa agreed. "So that's what you wanted to tell me. You agreed to spend the evening with Heero because he's your friend and you felt bad for him, but it's not a date."

"Right," Duo said, sounding relieved. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that in no way was there anything romantic, sexual, or really even remotely interesting involved in me going to this party with Heero."

"Okay," Trowa said, nodding in acceptance. Then he grinned slightly. Duo looked nervous. "Now, back to my other question. Do you want me to care?"

"A-about what?" Duo stuttered, licking his lips.

Trowa's grin transformed into a small smirk. "Do you want me to care that you're spending time with Heero, whether or not your intentions are only friendly?"

Duo stared at him a moment, then asked quietly, "Well... do you care?"

Trowa stared back at him, dark green eyes studying the American closely. "Yes," he admitted calmly. "Yes, I care. I'd rather you stayed home with me. But I understand why you need to go with him. So I'm not upset."

"Oh," Duo said, smiling a bit uncertainly. "Well... good. Cuz I didn't want you to be... you know... upset. I just wanted to let you know where I'd be. Cuz that other time you were worried and I... didn't want to worry you," he concluded, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Okay. I won't worry," Trowa told him.

"Great," Duo said brightly. They stared at each other a moment, Duo wearing a slightly sickly grin, Trowa smiling placidly.

Wufei wandered past, paused, looked back and forth between the two of them, and frowned. "Oh, for the gods' sakes," he snapped, "just get on with it." Then he stomped off, muttering to himself.

Duo looked after him with a frown, then shrugged and turned back to Trowa. "Well, anyway, I gotta go home and get dressed now," he declared. "Gotta dig out the monkey suit and hope it still fits. So... I'll see you... I, uh... probably won't be back until pretty late. And if the weather's bad, I might sleep on Heero's couch," he added.

"Okay. Just give me a call if it gets real late," Trowa requested.

"Sure!" Duo promised brightly. "See you later!" And with a little wave, he left.

Trowa leaned back in his chair with a frown. Now this was an interesting development. He wasn't thrilled to discover Duo was going to spend the evening at a party as Heero's date, but... Duo certainly had been nervous about telling him his plans. And very concerned about his reaction.

Trowa's frown twisted slowly into a smile.

"Trowa?"

The smile disappeared, replaced by a blank expression with just a hint of weariness as Trowa looked at the new arrival. "Hi, Quatre. What can I do for you?" he asked, striving for graciousness.

Quatre bit his lip, looking shy and uncertain. People who hadn't known him as a child often found that look bizarre on the tall, heavily muscled man he'd grown into.

"Um, well, I couldn't help overhearing that Duo's going to be out tonight. So, I thought, maybe we could... get together? And have that... talk?" he suggested hesitantly.

Trowa steepled his fingers in front of his face and regarded Quatre thoughtfully, inwardly amused by how diffident everyone was acting around him today.

He would have liked a little more time to work himself up for this chat with Quatre, but he supposed it would be nice to finally set things straight between them, in time for Christmas. And with Duo gone, he'd have nothing to do all night except sit around and wait for the American to return...

And speculate on what Duo and Heero were actually doing, alone together...

Maybe some distracting company would be a good idea.

"All right," he agreed. Quatre smiled brightly at him, obviously surprised at his quick agreement.

"Wonderful! So... I'll come over around six, then? We can have dinner," Quatre suggested. "Ill bring take out."

"Sounds good," Trowa said, glad Quatre was willing to meet at his place. It was good to have the home field advantage. Even if it was probably only because Quatre's apartment was too messy for company. The Arabian just was not the world's greatest housekeeper. Too many years of servants. And too much stuff. Duo had a lot of stuff, but he kept it all surprisingly neat and organized. Quatre, never having known what it was like to own nothing but the shirt on his back, tended to be careless with his possessions.

"Okay, so... I'll see you tonight!" Quatre said, sounding pleased with the arrangement. Giving Trowa a nod, he returned to his own desk.

Trowa leaned back in his chair and wondered if anyone else was going to come over and run their plans for the evening by him.

***~*~*~*~***

**Well, that was an interesting few minutes of conversation.**

**So, Duo's going to Relena's party with Heero. That should be an interesting evening for all involved. But maybe it's a good thing, maybe this will give the two of them the time to come to terms with each other, to learn, at least a little bit, how to relate now that they're not a couple.**

**What's that colorful phrase of Duo's?**

**"Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt."**

**Well, hopefully it at least won't be an unmitigated disaster.**

**My evening with Quatre, on the other hand...**

**Okay, if I'm expecting Duo to be mature, I guess I have to be also. It won't be so bad. I mean, we already went through the worst when we broke up, right? I mean, how hard can it be to sit around for an evening, listening to him tell me why I want to get back together with him?**

**That's what it will be, I'm sure. After what both Ken and Duo have told me, and then the way he acted last night, I guess I have to accept that for some reason, Quatre isn't over me. But being himself, he will have to twist that around and turn it into me subconsciously wanting us to get back together. Then he'll explain to me why he thinks it might not be a terrible idea, and how he has graciously decided to give me another chance. Oh, well. I'm used to him by now, I guess. You just have to be gentle but firm with Quatre. You can't get defensive or argumentative with him, or he takes it as a challenge, and he can be tenacious as all hell.**

**So all I have to do is sit and listen and then very kindly let him know that he's somehow misinterpreted my subconscious desires, and although I appreciate his concern for me, I feel I'm okay on my own.**

**This really would have frosted my ass a couple of weeks ago.**

**Now, though, I feel kind of sorry for him. Now that he's the one who can't let go and move on. And I mean, I was bitter, but at least I wasn't pining.**

**Okay, so maybe he isn't pining, but... it is nice to know you're wanted.**

**So I can be gracious, and let him keep his dignity, because he's my friend. And I do love him, in a way. It just isn't... the way I love Duo.**

**I love Duo.**

**I'm still getting used to that idea.**

**Maybe neither of us was quite ready for more than a kiss last night. Maybe Duo's smarter than I give him credit for. Maybe it would have been about Heero, or Quatre, or whatever... I want it to be just about us.**

**Wouldn't that be great?**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa answered the timid knock on the door to find Quatre smiling shyly in the hallway, a plastic bag dangling from one hand, a bottle of wine in the other. He stepped aside and motioned the blond into his apartment. Quatre scooted past him, his powerful frame almost filling the doorway. Although still a few inches shorter than Trowa, who remained the tallest of the former pilots, Quatre was quite solidly built.

He set the bag of food on the table and turned to smile at his host, holding out the bottle. "It's not chilled," he said apologetically. "I kind of grabbed it out of the cellar at the last minute... "

Trowa smiled at what was most likely a falsehood, accepting the bottle and sticking it in the fridge for later. "Would you like water, juice, coffee... I'd offer you some of Duo's soda, but I value my life... "

Quatre laughed at the joke, and asked for water. Trowa poured them both a glass and set them on the table, turning around to pull out plates and utensils while Quatre looked around the small apartment.

"This place is... probably very heat efficient, huh?" Quatre said diplomatically.

Trowa snorted, amused by Quatre's politeness. "It's a glorified shoebox, but it's mine," he replied, looking around the small apartment fondly.

"It's certainly very festive," Quatre complimented, sea-blue eyes tracing the lines of sparkling Christmas lights and tinsel.

"Thanks," Trowa said. "Duo likes decorations so much, I thought it would be mean to make him live in an apartment without any."

"Ah," Quatre murmured, a thoughtful expression crossing his face at the reference to Trowa's absent roommate. "How is that working out? I mean, this place doesn't seem like it would comfortably fit two people," Quatre pointed out. "Unless they were sharing the bed," he added, then giggled nervously.

Trowa raised an eyebrow at the Arabian, and shook his head, sitting down at the table. "Let's eat before it gets cold," he suggested. "What did you bring anyway?"

"Thai," Quatre responded, pulling the extra chair a little closer to Trowa before sitting down. Quatre always liked to sit near people while eating, for more intimate conversations. Duo liked a lot of room, so no one could easily steal his food off his plate.

"Tandoori chicken?" Trowa asked hopefully.

"Of course! I know what you like," Quatre replied brightly.

Trowa carefully did not respond to that comment.

They had a pleasant dinner, making small talk about inconsequential things, office gossip, and shared memories. Eventually, though, the food was gone. Trowa set the plates in the sink and pulled the wine out of the refrigerator with a slight feeling of trepidation. Quatre had wandered into the living room part of the main room, which Trowa tended to think of as Duo's bedroom these days. The blond settled on the sofa and smiled at Trowa as he approached.

There wasn't anywhere else to sit except on the sofa.

Trowa sat down on the opposite end from Quatre and set the wine and glasses on the coffee table, pushing aside a few of Duo's magazines so they didn't get soggy. He poured and offered Quatre a glass, and took one for himself. They both leaned back against the cushions and sipped their wine for a moment.

"I suppose you expect me to start telling you that you secretly long to get back together with me," Quatre remarked, with a self-depracating smile.

Trowa looked at his guest in surprise, not sure how to respond.

Quatre glanced over at him assessingly, then studied the lip of his wineglass. "I know I rather gave myself away last night," he admitted. "And I know how it irritates you when I don't take responsibility for my own motivations. So... I thought I'd try brutal honesty as a tactic this time. If nothing else, it'll be new, right?"

"I suppose," Trowa murmured warily. He wasn't sure where Quatre was going with this. It just wasn't like the blond to so baldly admit to a position of weakness.

Quatre sighed. "Trowa... I'm not going to play the projection game tonight, okay? I'm not going to pretend that I think you're the one who wants us to get back together. I'm just going to be honest about my feelings, and I'm hoping you will return the courtesy."

"I'm usually pretty honest," Trowa said slowly. He thought he could see Quatre's logic now. By not acting like he usually did, he was hoping to throw Trowa off balance enough to...

 _To what?_ Trowa demanded of himself irritably. _Come on, Trowa, you're being just a bit paranoid here. Not even Quatre could possibly think you could be shocked into getting back together with him after a year apart just because he abandoned his usual tactics for a night._

_Maybe he's just tired of the games. As tired as I got._

"Yes, you are," Quatre agreed. His lips twisted in a bitter smile. "Which was why it was so easy for me to make you play the role I wanted you to in our break up," he admitted candidly. "You were honest... about your frustration, about your anger, about your hurt... In your own quiet way, you were very emotional. And I... " He sighed again. "I wasn't raised to be that way, Trowa. Emotionally honest in public, I mean. I can manage it among close friends, and please believe I was always honest with you in private, but when we were out in front of the whole office like that, I just... It's almost instinctive in me, the urge to project a good image, to be in control. I wasn't, really, any more than you were. But you... admitted it. And I... used that, to make you look weak. To make you look like the one who was desperate to hold on... when really, it was me all along."

"Quatre... " Trowa said slowly. "I... I was pretty mad at you, for that. For a long time. But... it's okay, now, you know. I let it go. I don't think it was your finest hour, but... well, it wasn't mine, either. We both did things we probably regret this past year, that have gotten in the way of one of the best friendships I've ever had. I don't want to think about it anymore, Quatre. I don't want to worry and obsess and be bitter or angry about it. I just want to put it all behind us and move on."

Quatre smiled softly at him over his wineglass. "I think... I think I would like to, also. But Trowa... I... can't," he said softly, looking down into the glass. A large tear rolled down his cheek and he frowned irritably. "Oh, bother," he muttered, sounding annoyed. "I really have to stop doing this."

"Yes, you do," Trowa agreed, smiling in amusement. He leaned over and wiped the tear away with the back of his hand, then slid his finger down beneath Quatre's chin to tip his face back up. Quatre stared at him curiously from an arm's length away, and Trowa smiled gently at his former lover. "Just let it go, Quatre," he advised. " ‘Bravely it lived, and gallantly it died'," he quoted.

"Dorothy Parker," Quatre identified reflexively. Then he sighed and gently pulled his chin out of Trowa's grip. "I know, Trowa, I know it's over, and I know I should... let go... move on... but... I just can't."

"Why not?" Trowa asked curiously, sipping at his wine.

Quatre ran his finger around the rim of his wineglass and sighed again. "You were my first love, Trowa. And I guess... somewhere deep down, I thought you were... my one true love. Like a fairy tale, you know? I thought... somehow... that we'd always be together. Happily ever after."

Trowa smiled sadly at Quatre. "But we aren't Quatre. We're not together. We weren't happy. Sometimes, love just isn't enough, and for us... it wasn't. There just wasn't enough left, when the war ended and we had time to be more than soldiers and lovers, to hold us together."

"We held together for six years without the war," Quatre pointed out quietly.

"Yes, out of sheer stubbornness and a fear of losing everything if we let go of anything. We should have broken up years earlier than we did. You and I were just not meant to be together," Trowa said, as gently as he could.

"I know," Quatre murmured softly, still refusing to meet Trowa's gaze. "I know. You're right. But... it still hurts. And... sometimes I wonder... if I'll always be alone."

Trowa frowned. "Quatre... why would you always be alone?" he asked in surprise. "You're attractive, you're intelligent, you're kind and gentle and polite... "

"And impotent," Quatre added miserably.

Trowa bit his lip to hold back entirely inappropriate amusement.

"Oh, go ahead and laugh," Quatre muttered, taking a gulp of his wine. "I'm sure it's quite amusing. And I'm sure Duo already told you, or I wouldn't have brought it up." A snicker escaped Trowa at the phrase "brought it up", and Quatre glared at him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized contritely. "It's not funny, I know... but Quatre... I just don't understand why. I mean, you never had any problem with me."

"Well, that's just it," Quatre groused. "Like I told you before, you were my first love. You were my first... everything. And at the rate I'm going, you'll be my only everything."

"Quatre... " Trowa said soothingly, "I'm sure it's just temporary. Lots of guys have this problem every now and then... "

"It's been temporary for a year!" Quatre snapped, glowering at Trowa. "Every time I try, I just... I remember... that you... stopped loving me, and I just get... worried that... " He trailed off into silence, playing with his glass again. "I'm afraid that... I'm a bad lover," he admitted quietly.

"That's ridiculous!" Trowa exclaimed. "I mean, you were clumsy at first, but... everyone is at first! You learned very quickly, as I recall. Trust me, Quatre, you are not bad in bed," he insisted.

Quatre frowned thoughtfully at him. "Well, if you say so... but I'm still very... uncertain about it."

"How many people have you tried it with?" Trowa asked curiously.

Quatre blushed bright red at the blunt question, but finally answered, "Well... aside from Duo... there was this one time with Heero, on a mission... "

Trowa nearly choked on his wine. "You... and Heero?" he gasped, trying to wrap his mind around that concept.

Quatre shrugged. "He's my friend. So is Duo. I don't know if you realize this, but... I don't have that many people I'm close to. I was raised to be paranoid about gold diggers and industrial spies, and then there was my time as a Gundam pilot, which didn't exactly inspire me to faith in humanity, and... well, I don't think I could be with someone I didn't trust completely. And that kind of limits my options," he concluded morosely.

"Yes, we do have kind of a small dating pool, don't we?" Trowa mused to himself. Quatre gave him a curious glance, and Trowa informed him, "You're not the only one who feels that way, Quatre... About not trusting anyone outside... our little group, I mean."

"Really?" Quatre asked.

"Really," Trowa assured him. "Wufei and I were just talking about it the other day, and I'm pretty sure Duo feels the same way... and can you even imagine Heero trying to relate to someone without our background?"

"I... guess not," Quatre admitted with a rueful grin. Then he frowned. "But... Wufei dates other people," he pointed out.

Trowa shrugged. "He's never serious about them," he said. "They rarely last more than one night, and the ones that do end up as friends, not lovers. No, trust me, he's not interested in settling down with anyone who's not part of our exclusive little club." Which was about as far as he could go for Wufei without coming right out and telling Quatre the Chinese man was interested. He felt a vague sort of regret on Ken's behalf, but he'd rather suspected the younger agent was wasting his time anyway.

Then another thought occurred to Trowa, and he asked, "So, Quatre, if you've only tried to have sex twice in the past year, how do you know you've... had this problem the whole time?"

Quatre shrugged. "Well, I'm not even attracted to anybody outside the four of you, so it doesn't really matter," he said. "With Heero, I guess it could have been nerves, he's always so... .intense. But Duo... it should have been easy with Duo. But it wasn't. I just kept thinking... why didn't Trowa want to sleep with me anymore? What do I do wrong? Am I really bad at it?"

"Quatre!" Trowa snapped. "I already told you, you're not bad at it!"

"But you don't want to sleep with me!" Quatre snapped back.

"That has nothing to do with your... level of ability!" Trowa declared.

"Well, what does it have to do with then?" Quatre demanded.

"The fact that we're not a couple anymore!" Trowa half-shouted at him.

"What has that got to do with the price of tea in China?" Quatre yelled back.

Trowa blinked at him in surprise. "The... price of tea?"

"It's an expression," Quatre muttered wearily, rubbing at his forehead. "It means... your argument is unrelated to the topic."

Trowa frowned. "How is the fact that we're no longer together not related to whether or not I want to have sex with you?" he asked, bewildered.

Quatre shot him an incredulous look. "You're living with Duo and you're asking me that question?" he asked flatly.

Trowa frowned at him a moment. Then his eyes widened in understanding. "Quatre... " he murmured in disbelief.

Quatre smiled weakly at him. "I know we're finished, Trowa. I know you don't want to get back together. And I think... I know why," he added, glancing around the cheerfully decorated apartment. Then he looked back over at Trowa and said wearily, "I just need... the familiarity. I'm comfortable with you, I trust you... If we could just... If we could try, maybe I... " he shrugged. "I don't know why, but I think it would help. I think I could let go if we could just have one more night. So I suppose what I'm trying to ask is, are we good enough friends not to let a little sex get in the way?"

That was entirely not the question Trowa had been expecting out of Quatre that evening, and despite all the build up, it still took him off guard. "Quatre... " he murmured, "how will that help? Just one night, I mean... "

Quatre waved a hand vaguely. "It's just that... I know I can do it with you. I've done it so often before, it's not an effort, it's not a challenge... it's just comfortable. Familiar."

"How flattering," Trowa muttered, but he smiled, sipping at his wine. Considering. "The thing is... " Trowa said slowly, "I'm in love with Duo."

"Oh," Quatre murmured in surprise, blinking at him. "I, uh, didn't realize you two had... already... "

"Oh, we're not sleeping together yet," Trowa admitted. "I haven't even told him how I feel. But I just wanted that said, up front."

Quatre nodded. "I... understand," he said, smiling ruefully. "You don't want me getting any romantic notions about one night of sex rejuvenating our relationship."

"No," Trowa said firmly.

"That's okay," Quatre murmured. "I think I've grown up a little."

"We all have," Trowa said quietly. Then he set his empty glass on the coffee table and stood, holding a hand out to Quatre. "So, shall we?" he asked softly.

Quatre blinked up at him in surprise. Apparently he hadn't expected his request to be granted. But he set his own glass aside and took Trowa's hand, pulling himself up from the couch. They didn't speak as Trowa led the Arabian into his bedroom.

Trowa was having a few misgivings about this. On the one hand, it was just sex, with a friend. Quatre was his friend, and if he could help the blond man with this problem, he supposed he owed Quatre that for his years of patience. But still... there was Duo. He didn't really want to sleep with anyone but Duo right now.

But Duo was with Heero tonight. And Quatre was right here...

It had been a long time. And Trowa had recently realized how truly lonely he had been ever since he and Quatre had ended their relationship.

His heart was already devoted to Duo. But the American ran away when they kissed. There was still a slight sense of frustration inside him from that encounter. It would be a relief, just to let off some of the tension...

Quatre had quietly disrobed, and stood silently, waiting for Trowa beside the bed. Lamplight gleamed on smooth, tanned skin over firm, well-defined muscles and soft golden hair. Quatre was bulkier than Duo, and taller, but... he was beautiful, in his own way. Trowa's body remembered how it felt to be pressed against that broad chest, remembered the smooth skin under his hands, and began to react.

He slowly began removing his own clothing, noting from Quatre's growing smile and stiffening member that the Arabian had at least been right in the assumption that he would be fully functional with Trowa.

When they slipped into each other's arms on the bed, Trowa had one more brief flash of guilt. But hadn't Duo slept with Wufei? And he'd tried to sleep with Quatre... It wasn't like Trowa was betraying his feelings for the American. This wasn't that kind of encounter. It was just... deeply meaningful meaningless sex.

Quatre ran a gentle hand up his spine in a familiar caress, and Trowa forgot how dissatisfied he'd been with that description when Duo had given it.

If he'd really stopped to think about the general rules of probability, or at least Murphy's all-powerful Law, Trowa might have realized what was bound to happen just as he and Quatre reached the mutual peak of a year of suppressed passions. But instead, he was shocked into silent immobility when the door of his bedroom pushed open and Duo walked in.

"Hey, Tro, I guess you didn't hear me knock, so I picked the lock. I gotta get a key one of these days. The party completely sucked so we left early and I oh my God."

Duo abruptly fell silent, staring in open-mouthed surprise at the sweaty, entwined forms he seemed to have just noticed on the bed.

Quatre, unfortunately, was completely oblivious to Duo's presence. So oblivious, in fact, that he chose that precise moment to reach his climax, his back arching as he thrust deep within Trowa. Trowa's eyes shut involuntarily at the force of Quatre's movement, so he didn't get to see the look on Duo's face when the Arabian screamed at the top of his lungs, "Allah! I love you, Trowa!"

But that was probably just as well.

Quatre wriggled his hips in a practiced motion, his hand reaching down to grab Trowa's erection in a firm grip. Trowa pushed feebly at Quatre's shoulders, trying to get him off, trying to summon the presence of mind to speak to Duo...

 _Just wait in the kitchen for a minute, I'll be right with you_ , he thought sarcastically. _Right, Trowa. Good luck._

But Quatre's ministrations had more of an effect on his body than internal sarcasm. The blond managed to push him rapidly over the edge, and before he knew it, he was yelling incoherently, and then he was limp and sweaty with Quatre laying beside him.

Trowa only lay there a moment before jumping out of bed and running back out into the main room of his apartment, still completely naked.

There was no sign of Duo, except... a note stuck to the fridge.

Trowa walked over and pulled it off as Quatre appeared in the bedroom doorway, frowning in concern and wrapped in Trowa's robe.

"Trowa? Is something wrong?" he asked quietly.

Hey Tro! Sooooo sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt, just didn't realize you were... entertaining! J Anyway, I know three's a crowd, so I'm gonna go crash on Heero's couch. And I'm really, really sorry! Heh heh, I guess it's time I started looking for my own place, huh? Seeya _\--_ Duo

Trowa set the note down on the table and walked over to sit on the couch. Quatre picked up the note, read it, and looked worriedly over at the silent man.

"It's just a misunderstanding," he pointed out hopefully. "We'll just explain tomorrow, and everything will be okay. Right, Trowa?" Quatre waited a moment, but Trowa didn't respond. With a sigh, the blond went back into Trowa's bedroom and emerged a few minutes later, fully dressed. He walked to the apartment door and opened it, pausing in the doorway to look back with a sad expression on his face. "I'm really sorry," he whispered. After another moment of silence, he sighed and slipped out the door, shutting it softly.

Trowa sat on the couch and stared at the Christmas lights, and shivered in the cold apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

12/24/204

***~*~*~*~***

**I don't know what to feel today.**

**On the one hand, I'm horrified at my own stupidity, for not considering the possibility that Duo would come home early, and for agreeing to have sex with Quatre in the first place. I mean, our relationship is over, why couldn't he have just gone to a shrink for his little problem? And if I had to sleep with him, couldn't I have thought to do it somewhere else? Why did I let him come to my place anyway? If I'd gone to his apartment, all of this could have been avoided.**

**On the other hand...**

**What the hell is Duo's problem, running off to Heero just because he caught me in bed with somebody else? Yeah, I wasn't happy when he slept with Wufei, but I recognized that I don't have the right to tell him what he can and cannot do. How come he's allowed to sleep around and I'm not?**

**Okay, not that either of us is sleeping around, but...**

**I know it must have looked bad to him, finding me and Quatre together, when he knew that Quatre wanted us to be a couple again. He must have thought I'd agreed. Although how he could think such a thing... but anyway. So I guess he can be excused for running away.**

**But to Heero?**

**He could have gone to Wufei's place. I'm sure Wufei would have been quite happy to see him. He didn't even have to tell me where he was going, just "I'll sleep somewhere else tonight," or something... No, the Heero thing was deliberate, I think. He chose to go to Heero, and he wanted me to know specifically that that was where he was going. Presumably to sleep with him. Turnabout is fair play?**

**The only positive thing about the situation is the fact that it bothered him enough to find me banging Quatre that he felt the need to retaliate. That's got to mean something, right?**

**Anyway... I hope I don't catch a cold from spending the night naked on the couch like an idiot. I got to work a whole hour early this morning, too, because I was awake and I needed some kind of distraction, something to do.**

**Like I do anything here. I think I've spent more time on this journal than any actual "work" since I started it. Was it really only nineteen days ago? Man, was I feeling whiny... Looking back, though... A lot has changed in my life in such a short time. I got a roommate, I resolved my feelings about Quatre, I bonded with my weird friends, and found out they're not that odd... or at least, no more so than they always were.**

**I fell in love.**

**Hmm. Maybe it is kind of like lightning bolts... It happened pretty fast, in retrospect. Or maybe... maybe it was there all along, and I just never noticed before.**

**Anyway. Here it is, Christmas Eve... and depending on what happens today, I'll either end up happier than I've been in a long time, or completely hating my miserable little life.**

**Heero and Duo are here. Guess it's time to find out.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa rose from his desk and walked down the aisle to meet Duo and Heero. They all met at Duo's desk, Duo smiling brightly and hanging on Heero's arm, Heero scowling grimly, and Trowa expressionless.

"Morning, Tro!" Duo said pleasantly, then grabbed a file off his desk and ran off after excusing himself.

Trowa frowned after his retreating form. "That wasn't blatant or anything," he muttered, before turning back to meet Heero's scowl.

"Nice necktie," Heero said flatly. Trowa paled slightly and grabbed his tie in self-defense. "What did you do?" Heero demanded, still in that hard, flat tone.

Trowa frowned again. "He didn't tell you?" he asked curiously.

Heero's mouth twisted in a grimace. "No one ever tells me anything," he complained. "I always have to find out for myself. All I know is, about an hour after I dropped him off at your place, he showed up at my door, half-frozen, and informed me that if I didn't let him in and fuck him he was going to the nearest bar and drinking himself unconscious. Since I know from experience this is not an idle threat, I let him in."

"And did you... ?" Trowa asked, scowling.

"Fuck him?" Heero asked calmly. Trowa nodded sharply. Heero shrugged. "Of course," he replied.

Trowa crossed his arms tightly over his chest to keep himself from doing something stupid, like taking a swing at Heero. _He could at least look smug and give me a reason to be pissed_ , Trowa thought irritably.

"So, anyway. What exactly did you do to send him running back to me?" Heero asked again.

Trowa sighed in exasperation. He really didn't want to have to explain this to Heero, but... "I slept with Quatre last night. Duo walked in on us," he said shortly.

"Ah," Heero said, sounding surprised. He stared at Trowa a moment, then shook his head and said, "Well, I guess that sums it all up." He started to turn away.

"Like hell it does!" Trowa snapped. "It wasn't... we didn't... "

"The point, I believe, is that you did," Heero interjected.

"But... it didn't mean anything! It was just a one time thing!" Trowa ground out. Now he _really_ wanted to hit something.

"Ah," Heero said again. He looked at Trowa thoughtfully for a moment, then asked, "What makes you think what happened between us last night was anything different?"

Trowa blinked at him in confusion. "But... don't you want him back?"

"Yes," Heero replied flatly.

"And Duo... I mean, he needs... Are you telling me it was just a one night stand?" Trowa demanded.

Heero shrugged. "I have no idea," he stated calmly. "All I know is, he left me, and he's been after you since the day he got back. Then last night he shows up and demands I have sex with him. I never could figure him out before, and obviously I still can't. But usually he's pretty stubborn, so I doubt he's completely given up on you." Heero paused a moment, cocking his head thoughtfully. "Unless he's decided that you've given up on him," he added.

"Do you think he has?" Trowa asked worriedly. Heero just stared at him blankly. "Oh, right, you don't know," Trowa muttered with a sigh. "You think he's been... after me... since he got back?" he asked instead.

Heero frowned at him. "Haven't you noticed?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, I wasn't sure if...not really, no," Trowa admitted. "I thought he was just being really friendly."

"Which is how he acts when he's after you," Heero stated flatly.

"Really?" Trowa asked bemusedly.

Heero rolled his eyes. "Did any of you watch him chasing me around during the war?" he asked impatiently.

"Well, I was... rather busy myself at the time," Trowa snapped.

"Yeah, like you were busy last night," Heero snorted, shaking his head. "Look, I don't know much about what's been going on around here lately. I don't know what to tell you about last night. I don't know where Duo plans to be tonight, or who he wants to be with. If he comes to me, I'm not going to turn him away."

"I know," Trowa murmured thoughtfully. Then he frowned slightly at Heero. "But if he comes to me, I'm never letting him go," the taller man said firmly.

Heero's eyes narrowed in consideration, then he nodded sharply. "Then we understand each other," he said.

"I guess so," Trowa agreed.

"One thing, though," Heero added softly, stepping close to Trowa. His hands flashed upwards and gripped Trowa's tie and the knot at his throat. "If he comes to me again because you hurt him," Heero growled, "remember this." And he jerked hard on Trowa's tie, holding the knot in place so it tightened uncomfortably around his neck. Trowa's hand flew to his throat in panic, although he wasn't really suffocating. The sudden pain of the constriction was unnerving, though, which Heero seemed to know as he stood back with a satisfied little smirk.

"Trowa!" Quatre's voice exclaimed worriedly, and the blond came running up, quickly loosening the tie, easing the pressure on Trowa's throat. Trowa drew deep breaths, leaning against Duo's desk and glaring at a smug Heero while Quatre nervously wrung his hands.

Wufei, who had also arrived, raised an eyebrow at Heero and said, "You realize you're completely psychotic."

"It's part of my charm," Heero informed him flatly.

Wufei just shook his head. "Come on, Quatre, they're not going to kill each other in the middle of the office," he told the nervous Arabian with fond exasperation, grabbing Quatre's arm and pulling him off towards his own desk.

Quatre watched Trowa and Heero, frowning dubiously at Wufei's reassurance, as he let himself be dragged away.

"Too many witnesses," Heero agreed, eyeing Trowa speculatively. Trowa scowled at the Japanese man in profound frustration and stomped back to his own desk.

***~*~*~*~***

**Duo has been proving his right to the title "Master of Stealth" today. I have caught occasional glimpses of him, but he disappears again before I can reach him. It's obvious he's avoiding me, but he's avoiding everybody else, too. This is beginning to seem kind of childish and stupid to me.**

**The upside, though, is that I've gotten a lot of work done. My in pile is down to practically nothing. I spent the morning trying to stalk the elusive Maxwell, but after lunch I accepted that he is just too good at hiding. Plus I got really tired of Wufei's running commentary on my (lack of) progress. I think the last straw was when he started referring to my activities as "The Great Duo Snipe Hunt."**

**So I spent the afternoon working... hoping to lull him into a false sense of security. But I was still ready to pounce.**

**He kept his head down, though.**

**So now it's almost quitting time, and I'm wondering if I should wait by the door. He'll have to go past me, or we'll both spend the night at the office. Of course, knowing Duo, he just might climb out a bathroom window or crawl through the air ducts if he really wants to avoid me.**

**Sigh.**

**Heero just walked by and dropped a little piece of paper on my desk. He's dropped papers on Wufei's and Quatre's desks, too, I see.**

**Interesting. It's a little handmade invitation. Well, it's a torn up piece of computer paper with a very bad drawing of a snowman on it, and the words, "Come to my place tonight. Christmas Eve party. 6:00 p.m. BYOB PS- No excuses."**

**Well, Duo did say he decorated. This makes me wonder again where we're having our Christmas Party tomorrow... or if we're having a Christmas Party.**

**Anyway... no excuses. Which means Heero would probably come to my place and forcibly drag me over if I didn't show.**

**Not that I have any intention of missing it. Duo may be able to evade me with the whole Preventer Headquarters to hide in, but I've been to Heero's apartment. It's not that big. And with just the five of us there...**

**That will be a better place to talk anyway. So I guess I won't wait in ambush for him by the door. Heero doesn't even seem to be getting ready to leave. I guess he plans to wait for Duo to show himself.**

**That's fine. I know where he'll be tonight.**

**Now, to go home and figure out what to wear...**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa set the half-eaten slice of pizza down on his plate and leaned back in his chair, smiling around the table at his friends.

Despite the still-unresolved mess from last night, the five of them had had a very nice time so far. They'd all arrived more or less on time, and sat around chatting for a while, carefully avoiding any hot topics. But fortunately they had plenty of other things to talk about.

So the conversation was light and amusing, and if Duo was still avoiding looking at Trowa as much as he could in such an intimate setting, that was okay. There would be time to corner the American after dinner.

Duo had not come back to Trowa's apartment after work, but he had apparently borrowed some clothes from Heero so he didn't have to wear his uniform all evening. The simple dark blue silk shirt he wore over loose black pants was just slightly too big, making him look relaxed as he sprawled on the couch. Duo, in Trowa's opinion, didn't wear enough blue. The color accented his eyes so well, bringing out their purple tone in contrast to the true blue of the shirt. Although Duo did look quite good in red, the color he seemed to favor. The blue shirt was probably something Duo had bought for Heero. He liked the Japanese man in blue, as Trowa recalled. And it would look good on Heero.

But it looked better on Duo.

Of course, it would look even better on Trowa's bedroom floor.

Trowa took a quick sip of his water to hide the slight flush that thought had brought to his cheeks. They all seemed to have finished eating, and Heero suggested they go back to the living room. Quatre offered to clear up the dishes, and Wufei offered to help, so Heero, Duo, and Trowa all went into the other room and sat down to wait. Heero sat down in a dark gray wingback chair, and Trowa sat on the couch. Duo seemed to ponder sitting on Heero's lap for a moment, but a flat blue stare served to convince him the loveseat would be a better choice. So Duo settled across from Trowa and met his gaze for a brief moment, smiling nervously before looking down at his pants. Which were Heero's pants. He crossed his legs and smoothed the loose black material.

Trowa watched this little performance, and wondered if he should take advantage of this moment of relative privacy to broach the topic of where Duo planned to spend the night. But before he could open his mouth, he heard Quatre and Wufei approaching through the dining room. Trowa sat back with a sigh and glanced toward the doorway as the other two men stepped through.

Quatre glanced up as they entered the room and remarked brightly, "Look, Wufei! Mistletoe!"

Wufei looked up and smirked wickedly, wrapping an arm around Quatre's waist and pulling him close. "So it is, Winner," he murmured. Quatre smiled a bit nervously at him, blushing slightly as Wufei brought his lips to Quatre's. And they kissed.

And kissed.

And kissed.

Finally, Heero cleared his throat and asked flatly, "Are we going to have to turn the hose on you two?"

Trowa glanced at the Japanese man to see that despite his words and tone, Heero was smiling softly at the other two men. Duo, meanwhile, was gaping in open-mouthed surprise. As Trowa looked at him, the American looked back and forth between the still-smooching Wufei and Quatre, and Trowa.

"You'll catch flies," Trowa warned him finally, smiling slightly as Duo's mouth snapped shut. The dazed violet stare fixed itself firmly on Trowa as Wufei and Quatre finally separated with happy little sighs and walked into the room, Wufei's arm still around Quatre's waist. They settled on the couch beside Trowa, Quatre blushing and giggling nervously, Wufei smiling in smug satisfaction.

"What... the hell... ?" Duo murmured in confusion.

"Last night," Wufei drawled, "justice was served." He smirked triumphantly.

"You need to stop using that line," Trowa informed him with amused exasperation.

Wufei shrugged unconcernedly while Quatre's blush deepened.

"You... and Quatre?" Duo asked incredulously. Wufei nodded in acknowledgment. "But... last night... I saw... " Duo frowned. "I'm so confused!" he moaned, holding his head in his hands.

"There's the understatement of the year," Heero muttered, sipping at his glass of eggnog.

"Duo," Trowa said gently, knowing a cue when he was given one, "what you saw last night... wasn't what you thought. Quatre and I had a long talk last night, and we... really finally laid our relationship to rest. But... Quatre asked me for a favor, and I decided to do what he asked. So all you saw was a favor between friends. It wasn't anything more than that," Trowa assured Duo firmly.

Duo bit his lip looking unconvinced. "But... I heard him... He said ­ "

"Oh, dear, you were there for... that?" Quatre interrupted, looking profoundly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Duo, Trowa, I just... got caught up in... memories, I suppose. It wasn't... I didn't mean anything... Trowa and I... we aren't together anymore, Duo. Really. It's over," Quatre said earnestly. Wufei leaned forward and murmured something in Quatre's ear. Quatre blushed and muttered a quick reply.

Wufei snickered and leaned back against the couch cushions, pulling Quatre back against his chest. "I can assure you, Maxwell, it wasn't Trowa's name on his lips the second time last night," he declared. "Or the third... or ­ "

"Wufei!" Quatre snapped, smacking the Chinese man's chest with his palm and blushing bright red. Wufei just chuckled at the flustered Arabian.

"So... you guys... " Duo said slowly, frowning at Wufei and Quatre.

"After you... left," Quatre explained awkwardly, "I wanted to talk to somebody, but Trowa... wasn't in the mood to talk. So I went over to Wufei's place, and we talked... for a long time... "

"And then we stopped talking," Wufei added, smirking. Quatre smacked him again, but he didn't seem fazed by it.

"Anyway," Quatre continued, "Wufei helped me figure out what I was feeling, and... well, then we just kind of chatted about... stuff. It turns out we have a lot in common, and... well, we were both feeling lonely, I guess. I wasn't sure where we stood this morning, but now, I think... " He paused, smiling gently at Wufei. Wufei smiled back, not a smirk or a leer, just a smile.

Trowa looked away politely, smiling himself. They looked nice together. They looked... happy.

He wanted Duo to smile at him like that.

But... that might be rushing things.

"Duo," he said quietly, "I'm sorry you felt... awkward last night, but I can promise you, that won't happen again. You don't have to move out. I've actually kind of gotten used to having you around. I'd... miss you, if you left."

Trowa met Duo's eyes across the coffee table. The violet pools were unreadable again, shadowed and thoughtful. For once, Duo's normally expressive face gave no clue to his thoughts.

After a moment, the American asked softly, "Why?"

"Why what?" Trowa asked cautiously.

"Why would you miss me?" Duo clarified slowly.

Trowa swallowed the words that wanted to leap from his throat. Duo was so skittish... if nothing else, last night had shown him that. He didn't want to scare the man off. Still, he ached to say it...

He sighed softly, and gave a partial truth. "Because you're my friend."

"Oh," Duo said quietly, dropping his gaze to his pants again. Trowa frowned. Had he said the wrong thing? What was wrong now? He glanced over at Quatre and Wufei. Wufei was frowning irritably at Duo, Quatre was watching Trowa worriedly.

Heero sighed heavily and set his glass on the coffee table. Everyone turned to look at him. He glowered impartially at the whole group before settling his gaze on Duo.

"You're being an asshole," he informed the American flatly.

"Hey!" Duo protested, bristling.

"Shut up," Heero said impatiently. "I have never understood why you have to make everything so complicated. You only end up making life more difficult for yourself. But you're my friend, so I'm going to do you a favor here." Duo frowned at being ordered to silence, but seemed to be paying attention to Heero's words.

"Right," Heero prompted himself. "You're in love with Trowa," he informed Duo calmly.

Duo turned several different shades of red in the space of five seconds, then went white as a sheet. He opened his mouth, but only an inarticulate squeak emerged.

"See? You can't deny it," Heero declared briskly. "Now, moving on, Trowa is in love with you."

"Bullshit," Duo snapped, broken from his paralysis. Trowa frowned over at him. Had Duo really not figured that out yet?

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet?" Heero snapped, scowling at Duo. "And it's not bullshit, it's completely true," he added.

"Oh, and how the hell would you know?" Duo demanded, ignoring Heero's order of silence.

Heero ground his teeth a moment, but apparently decided to let it pass. He shrugged and replied to Duo's question. "I hacked into his computer after he left work today and read his journal," Heero declared calmly.

Duo blinked at him in amazement.

"You _what_?" Trowa demanded, shaken from his bemused contemplation of the bizarre conversation.

Heero looked over at Trowa, obviously unconcerned by his ire. "I had to know what was really going on," the Japanese man explained. "I told you nobody ever tells me anything. It seemed like the best way to find out."

"But... how did you even know I was keeping a journal?" Trowa asked.

Heero shrugged. "You're the journal type," he said dismissively. "And by the way," he added, "I haven't mellowed. We just never used to wear neckties."

Trowa groaned and dropped his head in his hands.

"What are you groaning about? And what are you sitting there like a lump for?" Heero demanded of Trowa and Duo respectively. "You love each other. So be together," he ordered, slumping down in his seat as though tired of the whole affair.

Duo bit his lip, looked at Trowa, looked at Heero, and frowned at the coffee table. "Heero... " he said slowly, "it's... not that simple... "

"Yes, it is," Heero snapped. "It's the simplest thing in the world."

Trowa looked up at the Japanese man in surprise. Heero's expression softened as he met Duo's uncertain stare. "Duo," he said, more gently than Trowa had ever heard him speak, except for that night when he brought Duo's clothes over, "I've been watching you since you came back. Since you've been spending time with... Trowa. And you've been... happy. Happier than I've ever seen you. Happier than I ever made you... or ever could make you. I... I love you, Duo, but... we just didn't work. We made each other miserable. And I don't want that. I don't want to be unhappy, and I don't want you to be unhappy. So I'm telling you... take this chance."

Duo stared at Heero for a moment, then he slid off the loveseat to his knees, and shuffled across the floor to kneel beside Heero's chair. Heero watched him solemnly as he approached. Duo slid his arms around Heero's waist and laid his head on the Japanese man's thigh, his eyes sliding closed. "I'll always love you, you know," he murmured.

Heero stared down at Duo's head for a moment, then gently ran one hand through the short hair, cupping the back of Duo's head in his palm. "Always be my friend," he said, half command, half request.

Duo raised his head to smile tremulously up at Heero. "I will," he promised. Heero smiled back at him a moment, then gently shoved him towards Trowa.

"Now all of you get the hell out, I have to go to sleep so Santa Claus can come," Heero declared flatly. Everyone gave an involuntary snort of amusement at the bizarre notion of Heero waiting for Santa Claus. Then they all looked around at each other, wondering if their host was serious in his dismissal.

"I mean it," Heero growled. "Party's over. Leave."

Wufei shook his head, smiling to himself as he rose and pulled a confused Quatre to his feet. "Thanks for the pizza, Yuy. See you tomorrow," Wufei declared, and proceeded to drag Quatre away and right out of the apartment, barely pausing to retrieve their coats.

Trowa stood up and got his jacket, still a bit shell-shocked from Heero's little speech. He didn't really know what the hell had happened or been decided. He hesitated at the apartment door, not sure if he was leaving alone or not.

Duo and Heero walked up to him, Duo with his arm around Heero's waist, Heero with Duo's leather jacket over his free arm. They all stood together a moment, Trowa and Heero looking at Duo, and Duo looking at the floor.

"Well... good night," Trowa finally said, opening the door.

Heero nodded in acknowledgment, and handed Duo his coat. Duo took the coat, but clutched it to his chest instead of putting it on. He looked at Heero uncertainly. "Heero... " he murmured.

"Merry Christmas," Heero said, and leaned forward and kissed the tip of Duo's nose. Then he stepped back, out of touching range. "Goodbye, Duo," he said quietly.

Duo stared at Heero for a moment, then he said softly, "Goodbye... Heero."

And he turned and smiled hesitantly at Trowa, grabbing the taller man's hand as he walked out the door. Trowa had no choice but to follow, closing the door as Heero turned his back and walked off into his apartment.

***~*~*~*~***

**What a bizarre evening this has been. And I have a feeling it's not over yet.**

**Duo is hiding in the bathroom again. He claims he just wants to take a bath, but I know he's sitting in there trying to figure out everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours. That's okay. I'm sitting on my bed, typing on my laptop, trying to do the same thing.**

**I can't believe Heero read my journal! If anyone so much as looks at his computer for too long he pulls a gun on them, but apparently it's perfectly all right for him to hack into other people's private accounts...**

**Anyway, I'm feeling a little guilty, because as I recall, there's some rather unflattering observations on Heero in my journal. I hope he didn't get his little feelings hurt while he was FLAGRANTLY INVADING MY PRIVACY!**

**Well, actually, I do hope he wasn't hurt. He seems to have taken what I wrote to heart, considering what he did tonight, so I hope he doesn't think I don't like him or something. I mean, he can be a jerk, but... he's one of us. And where would any of us be without each other?**

**So Duo came home with me. There's a lot left unsaid between us still, but... he came home with me. I already know how I feel. The big question is, was Heero right about Duo's feelings? Or was Duo just too stunned at his presumption to say anything?**

**But then why come home with me?**

**How long does it take him to take a bath anyway?**

**Ah, I hear the door opening now.**

**Once more into the breach.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa shut his laptop and set it on the floor as Duo entered the bedroom. Dressed only in a towel tucked around his hips, the American leaned against the doorframe, smiling almost shyly.

Trowa smiled back and took the offered opportunity to enjoy the view.

He'd seen Duo mostly unclothed many times before, but this was the first time he'd really been in a frame of mind to fully appreciate the experience.

Like his hands, Duo's shoulders were a bit oversized for his frame, just a shade too broad for his height. Their breadth had been less noticeable before, when he hadn't been as muscular. Duo had always been wiry and tough, and he hadn't really gotten much beefier. He just looked a bit older now, more filled out. Drops of water trickled down his tapered torso from his hair, which was wet. He'd slicked his long bangs back, for once completely baring his face and forehead. It made his eyes look bigger and paler. Or maybe they changed color with his mood. Trowa hadn't spent enough time staring into them yet to be sure.

"So," Duo said slowly, "what now?"

Trowa raised an eyebrow at him.

Duo shoved a hand into his hair, scratching his scalp. "Well, I mean, here we are... and I thought maybe... I mean, do you wanna?" he rambled.

Trowa decided to be obtuse. "Want to what?" he asked.

Duo gave him an incredulous look. "Jeez, Tro, I'm not dressed to go clubbing here," he declared, waving a hand at his towel-wrapped body.

"I should hope not," Trowa drawled, giving Duo an obvious perusal with his eyes. Amusingly enough, Duo blushed from the chest up. "Come here," Trowa said, lifting a hand in invitation.

Duo pushed himself off the doorframe and walked across the room, sitting down on the bed beside Trowa. Trowa was seated against the headboard, long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. When Duo sat down and looked at him expectantly, Trowa smiled softly and reached out to run a hand through Duo's wet hair. Duo's eyes slid shut at Trowa's touch and he leaned into the pressure of the taller man's hand. Trowa slid his hand to the back of Duo's head, cupping it gently in his palm, and pulled the American forward into a kiss.

Duo responded instantly to the light brush of Trowa's lips, pressing closer and sliding his tongue into Trowa's mouth. Trowa met Duo's fervor with equal passion, both of them tasting and exploring one another for a long, blissful moment.

The kiss ended gently, with a mutual need for breath. Trowa let his hand slip to Duo's shoulders and pulled the unresisting man down to lean against him, Duo's damp head resting on Trowa's chest. Duo drew his legs up onto the bed, curling up and shivering slightly in his towel. Trowa grabbed the comforter and pulled it over both of them. Duo hugged the blanket around his shoulders with a contented little sigh, snuggling determinedly against Trowa's warm body. Trowa smiled down at the top of Duo's head.

"Why didn't you get dressed if you were cold?" Trowa asked.

Duo twisted his head to look up at Trowa curiously. "Well, I thought it might be a waste of time," he said slowly.

Trowa frowned slightly in thought, letting his eyes roam over the familiar sharp planes of Duo's face. "You know, I think... we should probably wait a bit before we take things to that level," Trowa murmured hesitantly.

Duo frowned back at him. "Don't you... want me?" he asked nervously.

Trowa smiled reassuringly at him. "More than anything," he said firmly. Duo smiled back contentedly. "But I'm in no hurry," he added placidly.

"O... kay," Duo said hesitantly. "But... well, what do you want to do, then?"

"I don't know, talk?" Trowa suggested.

"We've been talking. For weeks now," Duo informed him, sounding just slightly exasperated.

Trowa sighed. "Well, yes, we have... But there's still plenty we haven't talked about, and I'd just like to make sure, before we... get into this... that we both know what's going on."

"What is going on?" Duo asked flatly.

Trowa frowned at the ceiling, then replied cautiously, "Well, according to Heero, we're in love with each other. But I'm pretty sure we've never discussed anything of the sort."

"You want me to say it?" Duo asked, sounding a bit nervous.

"Well... not if you... don't want to," Trowa said slowly, feeling a moment's panic. Then he reminded himself that Duo had a history of commitment issues. Still...

Duo sighed. "It's not that I... don't want to," Duo assured him. "It's just that... well, it scares me."

"Why?" Trowa asked carefully.

Duo sighed again, snuggling closer beneath the blanket. "Just does," he muttered.

Trowa frowned down at Duo's head, then decided not to push the issue for the moment. "So where were you for the last six months?" he asked, changing the topic completely.

"South," Duo replied.

"That's specific," Trowa muttered.

Duo laughed softly. "Well, that's about as specific as I was about my destination. I went chasing after summer until I finally caught it. I just kept going until I got to somewhere that it stayed warm."

"Must have been a shock to your system to come back to December up here," Trowa observed.

"Yeah, it was," Duo agreed ruefully. "I thought I was gonna freeze my ass right off that first day back."

"I'm sure," Trowa murmured, smiling. "And what were you doing, in the South?"

Duo was silent so long Trowa began to think he wasn't going to answer, but finally he said quietly, "I was learning to like myself again."

Trowa smile twisted into a frown and he hugged Duo gently.

"By the time I left here," Duo continued after a moment, "I was pretty much at the end of my rope. Maybe for a long time before that... After you told Une about my problem, I didn't have much choice about staying sober at work, but as soon as I got home I'd start drinking. And Heero... nothing else he tried had worked, so by then he was just constantly telling me how weak and disgusting I was... which really helped a lot. I didn't even speak to him, most days. I'd just sit there and listen and silently agree with him. But I couldn't make myself stop. Not when all I had in my life was his coldness. Wufei and Quatre didn't even seem to give a shit what I was doing to myself. I mean, I know that's not true, now, but at the time... I just couldn't see that I had that much to lose. But... there was you."

"Me?" Trowa asked curiously.

Duo nodded against Trowa's chest. "You were the only one who didn't just ignore me or give up on me," he said quietly. "Every day with that damn balloon... I hated you for it at first, but... there was this little smile you'd give me, when the test came up negative. It was... like the one bright thing left... I wanted to see it more often. So... I started going to AA."

"I didn't know you were in AA," Trowa remarked in surprise.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't for long," Duo said flatly. "There's such an emphasis on spirituality, it just... wasn't working for me. I mean, I haven't held any faith in getting help from a higher power since I was eight, I wasn't about to start at twenty-four. But it at least got me started, and I figured I could make it on my own from there. Only Heero didn't agree."

"Heero?" Trowa asked warily.

"Somehow he'd figured out where I was going nights," Duo explained. "He probably tailed me or something. So he'd been quiet for a while. Not supportive or anything, just quiet. Watchful. I did my best to ignore him most of the time. But then he figured out that I'd stopped going to meetings. Oh, did he rip me a new one. And I was feeling a bit on edge myself. We got into a real knock-down, drag-out shouting match, that ended up with him just about putting his fist through my stomach. I don't know why he always goes for the gut shot. Most people would aim for the face when they were that pissed off, but not Heero. Anyway.

"So after I got done gasping and writhing on the floor, he dragged me off to bed and screwed me silly with about as much emotion as you'd show with a two dollar whore. I didn't sleep that night. I just laid there thinking I gotta get out of here. I can't stay here anymore. Of course, by morning, I'd worked myself around to where would I go, and what good would leaving do? But then when he started in on me again at work, it was just... totally the last straw. So I just went and told Une that I had to go away for a while, or... I didn't know what I'd do. She gave me that look of hers, but I was determined. She asked me if I wanted an escort out of the building, and I almost said no, but then... I thought it would be nice if I could... just see you smile at me. One last time. So I asked for you, and she called you, and you walked me out.

"And I just started driving, no plans, no itinerary. When the car finally died, I bought the motorcycle. When my clothes got too dirty, I threw them out and bought new stuff. Mostly I just... thought about things. I don't do that much, if I can avoid it, but I figured I'd been letting things slide for too long. So I thought. I thought about Heero, and Quatre, and Wufei, and work, and the war, and Sister Helen and Father Maxwell and Solo... but mostly I thought about you. And your smile. And I tried to remember what it was like to smile like that, a real smile, because you care about somebody. And then, one day, I realized that I _was_ smiling like that. So I came home."

When Duo finished talking they were both silent for a while, Trowa gently stroking the shorter man's rapidly drying hair.

"Too much information?" Duo asked after several minutes, sounding slightly strained.

"No," Trowa assured him. "I was just... absorbing, I guess. Thank you... for telling me all that."

"Yeah, well, I don't know if you really wanted to hear it, but... I guess I needed to say it. So thanks for listening," Duo replied.

"Anytime," Trowa promised.

Duo yawned loudly. "Damn, I think I wore myself out whining about my miserable little life," he murmured in dismay. "Not to mention completely killing any possible romantic mood... Sorry, Tro... "

"That's okay," Trowa replied, smiling softly at the ceiling. "There's plenty of time for romance."

Duo snorted. "Yeah, whatever. Don't get your hopes up, Barton. ‘Do you wanna scrump?' is about as romantic as I get," he confided.

"Good enough for me," Trowa assured him with a chuckle.

"Hmm... that's good," Duo muttered, settling himself more comfortably against Trowa. After a moment, Trowa got the hint and turned off the lamp, squirming down until he was lying half beside, half beneath Duo.

"Hey, Tro... C'n I ask ya somethin'?" Duo muttered sleepily.

"Sure," Trowa replied, slowly stroking the smooth skin of Duo's bare back.

"While I was gone... who pulled th' pages offa my cal'ndar?"

"Well... I did," Trowa admitted.

"How come?" Duo asked.

Trowa took a moment to consider the question. Then he replied, "I... partly so that, when you came back, you would know we hadn't just forgotten about you. And also, I guess, it was a way for me... to keep you close, somehow. To think about you every day, without having to acknowledge that that was what I was doing. Every day, I'd pull off the page and read the quote, and if it made me think of you... if I could see you in my head, smiling or laughing at it, then... I'd put it in your drawer. I told myself it was so you could read the ones I thought you would like when you got back. But I think it was also just because I wanted to save them, because they made me think of you."

"Oh," Duo said, sounding surprised and pleased. "That's... really nice, Tro. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Trowa said softly.

Duo fell silent for another several minutes, and Trowa was sure the American had fallen asleep. Just as Trowa was about to drop off himself, though, he heard Duo say quietly, "I do, you know."

Trowa smiled softly in the dark, knowing Duo would recognize the expression easily if he saw it. "I know," he murmured. "I love you, too."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Aoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from Dacia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [A Little Piece of Gundam Wing](https://fanlore.org/wiki/A_Little_Piece_Of_Gundam_Wing), which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after July 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [a little piece of gundam wing collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/alittlepieceofgundamwing/profile).

12/25/204

***~*~*~*~***

**Well, it's Christmas. Whoopee!**

**This morning I woke up next to Duo again, and I have to say that if there's a better Christmas present waiting for me under our little tree, I don't know what it could possibly be.**

**Yeah, the presents are still under the tree. I had a hell of a time dragging Duo out the door this morning without opening them, but we were already late for work. Wufei smirked at us when we came in, and Quatre blushed and smiled, but we weren't actually fooling around.**

**Well, not much. We were just... noticing... that Duo went to sleep naked.**

**Okay, so maybe we fooled around a little. But it was really just touching and kissing and stuff. A really nice way to wake up, though. And I was pleased to finally be the one who got to work late.**

**I wonder if Heero will hack into this file again. For a while, I contemplated not writing anymore, but... I guess I AM the journal type. I like writing out my feelings. I still have a hard time expressing them any other way, so this journal has become a great catharsis for me. So I don't care if Heero reads it, because writing it has been good for me, I think. I'm not doing it for his benefit, so if he wants to know my most candid thoughts about him and everybody else, he can just knock himself out.**

**So. Now Heero is on my mind.**

**I wasn't too thrilled with him when I woke up today, with Duo's story still fresh in my mind from last night. I mean, Heero was really a jerk to Duo. But then, I got to thinking about Heero's version of events, and... He WAS a jerk. There's no denying that, he even knows he was a jerk. But... really, he was just being himself. He didn't know what to do, how to act, and he dealt badly with the situation. But despite what Duo says about Heero having been around people long enough to know how to act like a human, the truth is, he'll never really quite get it. He's actually come a long way in the past few years, but the truth is, he was just not raised to interact with people. He's smart, yes, and a quick study in most things, but I think this is a formative problem with him. It's not instinctive, the understanding of emotional nuance that lets normal people communicate on so many different levels. I can understand his problem, because I have some of the same difficulties. I don't think I'm as bad off as Heero is, but I know there's a lot I don't pick up on. Like Duo's reciprocation of my interest. Although Heero saw that one, so maybe that's not a good example. Anyway...**

**Duo and Heero. Opposites attract, but they need something in common to keep that attraction healthy. They just didn't have that, I guess. Just like with Quatre and me, shared experiences from the war were not enough to build a lifelong relationship on. Eventually, there was nothing left but sex, and while Heero was probably okay with that, Duo was not. Duo needed more. Heero knew that, but he didn't know what that more was, or how to give it to him. Frustration and anger on both sides, added to depression for Duo, who has always been far more susceptible to that particular demon than we've all allowed ourselves to acknowledge. It was just a bad situation.**

**Not that they didn't love each other. I know Duo still loves Heero, and Heero still loves Duo. Just like Quatre and I will always love each other. But we don't work as a couple. Sometimes love isn't enough.**

**But Quatre and Wufei... They do have a lot in common. They both come from the higher echelons of society. They are well-educated and accustomed to being treated with a certain respect and deference. They both suffered great losses in the war, and they both went through the same conflict between their inherent peaceful natures and their warrior vocations. Wufei embraced his violent side a bit more enthusiastically than Quatre, but he already had vengeance to drive him when the war began. But before that, he was a scholar, and quite happy with his books and study. I think the two of them will get along quite well.**

**As for Duo and I...**

**We have a lot in common, too, I think. Homeless, nameless survivors that we were, we need both more and less than other people do in a relationship. As Quatre did not and never could, Duo understands what it means for me just to stay with him, to share my space with him. And I understand that he needs constant reassurance, which must have driven Heero crazy. He doesn't need much, though. He doesn't need passionate declarations and public make out sessions, although I doubt he'd be averse to them. But really, all he needs is a special smile, a light touch. Just a reminder that you're there. He can't be alone. I've never been that fond of touching. Touching invites attention, and I was always happier being ignored. But I like it when Duo pays attention to me. So we'll both have to adjust a bit, but it shouldn't be too hard.**

**Heero...**

**I worry about Heero. The further we get from the war, the more the rest of us are letting go of that part of our lives. Even I am beginning to shed some of my soldierly behaviors, and I was raised a mercenary. But Heero... he doesn't know how to be anything but a soldier. A fighter. I even wonder if he treated Duo the way he did to try and force conflict into their relationship, to make it comprehensible to him. He probably wanted, even expected, Duo to fight back. But that falls under the heading of not understanding Duo's needs. He didn't want conflict, just a little affection. But for Heero, conflict may be the way he shows affection...**

**He just doesn't have much in common with any of us. Not enough to build a lasting relationship on, anyway. That must be lonely. I wonder if it bothers him.**

**Probably. He's probably learned enough by now to understand what he's lacking. And what he's missing. It's Christmas, and he'll be alone tonight.**

**But I guess... that's life.**

**Sorry, Heero, but he came to me. But then, I think you understand.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa closed his journal file and shot Heero a pensive look. The Japanese man was typing busily on his own computer and didn't notice.

Duo, who had just walked up to Trowa's desk, followed the taller man's eyes to Heero and frowned slightly. "What's that look for?" he asked curiously.

Trowa shrugged, leaning back in his chair to smile up at Duo. "No reason," he replied. "Just thinking."

"Ah," Duo murmured, but refrained from prying. Instead he grinned widely and abruptly deposited himself in Trowa's lap.

Trowa cursed and kicked the underside of his desk, barely keeping the chair from tipping over backwards. He managed to return it to its upright position and scowled at Duo, who was giggling like madman in Trowa's tight embrace.

"You're going to break the chair," Trowa warned him, trying to hold onto his irritation.

Duo blinked at him innocently and asked, "So what?" Then he tucked his head in against Trowa's shoulder and began nibbling on the taller man's neck.

"Oh... umm... good point," Trowa murmured, eyes half closed.

The blissful moment was abruptly shattered as cold water splashed into Trowa's face. Duo yelped, sitting up and glaring at their attacker.

Wufei smirked at them, dangling an empty mug from one finger. "Get a room," he advised.

"Wufei," Duo growled dangerously, "you messed up my hair." Trowa glanced at Duo's head to see that half the shorter man's hair was plastered to his skull.

Wufei snorted. "Like anyone could tell," he said dismissively.

"That's it," Duo snapped. "I'm serving up some justice, Maxwell style!"

Wufei, who was beginning to edge away, still smirking, shot back, "You mean, hot, fast and greasy?"

Duo surged off Trowa's lap with a shriek of rage and took off after a swiftly fleeing Wufei, yelling at the top of his lungs, "I am not _greasy_ , China boy!"

Une stuck her head out of her office at the noise, but by then Duo had chased Wufei out of the main office, so after a moment's frowning, she withdrew.

Trowa wiped at his wet face with a tissue, and hoped Duo caught Wufei as he felt a trickle of cold water slide down his collar.

"It's like working with two-year-olds," Ken remarked, but when Trowa looked up at the younger agent who'd appeared beside his desk, Ken was smiling fondly in the general direction Duo and Wufei had taken.

"You should try living with them," Trowa suggested, grinning at Ken's theatrical shudder.

Ken smiled down at Trowa and got right to the point. "So, what are you guys all doing tonight?"

Trowa frowned thoughtfully. "You know, I... don't have the slightest idea. We haven't really planned anything this year, things have been so crazy... "

"I thought so," Ken said, smile widening. "So, I was thinking... do you guys, maybe, want to come hang out with the rest of us losers with nowhere to go on Christmas?"

"What?" Trowa asked in confusion.

Ken scratched his head. "Well, you know, you guys aren't the only ones who don't have family to go home to tonight. Some of us are war orphans, too, and some of us just live too far away from home... Jeanie in Forensics hasn't spoken to her family in three years, you know, stuff like that. We all usually get together on Christmas, so we're not lonely. We've thought about inviting you guys before, but you always had your own plans, and we figured you wouldn't want to mix with us anyway. But I thought maybe I'd ask, this year," Ken concluded, smiling hopefully.

Trowa blinked in surprise. "Well, I... I hadn't thought... I mean, sounds good to me. I'll ask the other guys, see what they think," he said.

"Cool!" Ken declared happily. "If they're up for it, or if just you and Duo want to come, drop by my desk and I'll give you directions later."

"Okay," Trowa said. "Great." He smiled at Ken. "Thanks," he added.

"For what?" Ken asked, frowning in confusion.

"For... thinking of us. Inviting us," Trowa explained. "I know we're... kind of unusual. We don't quite fit in. I mean, I guess this is kind of a pity invite, but it's still nice to be asked."

"Pity invite?" Ken repeated incredulously. He shook his head in amazement. "Man, and I thought I had self-esteem problems," he added with a grin.

Trowa cocked his head in confusion.

Ken rolled his eyes. "We love you guys," he explained exasperatedly. "You're like the office mascots. And most of us consider you our own personal heroes."

"Really?" Trowa asked.

"Yup. Everybody else is too shy to invite you to our stupid little party, but ever since we spent that stake out together, I've come to understand that... well, that the sun doesn't rise and set on your asses, to quote a friend," Ken confided, grinning.

"Hey, I only said it didn't rise and set on _Quatre's_ ass," Trowa corrected with a grin of his own.

Ken rolled his eyes again, laughing. "Forgive me, oh great one," he begged.

"Perhaps," Trowa said airily, earning another laugh from Ken. "I'll run it past the others and get an answer for you," he added.

"Great!" Talk to you later," Ken declared, and walked back to his own desk with a little wave.

Trowa leaned back in his chair and smiled to himself.

***~*~*~*~***

**Well, everybody decided that joining our coworkers sounded like a plan. Even Heero decided to come along. It should be an interesting evening.**

**We're all going to the restaurant directly from work, which got me some more whining about presents from Duo, but he finally decided that presents could wait while we all partied for a while.**

**I have to say I'm still kind of shocked to discover that the other Preventers would want to hang out with us. I guess I'm so used to being the outcast that it never occurred to me that the people we work with are the ones most committed to what we fought for. But I mean, we were terrorists. We still feel a lot of guilt over the things we did in the war. It's not like we were glorious heroes. We were little better than bloody murderers.**

**But it was war. Everybody killed. Sometimes, just as we forget that we weren't the only people who believed in our cause, we forget that we aren't the only ones left with blood on our hands. Not even Relena ever condemned us for fighting. Why should we condemn ourselves?**

**Why am I indulging in such heavy, grim thoughts today? It's Christmas!**

**And I'm going to a party!**

**And Duo's my date!**

**He actually made me ask him. And then he stood there for five minutes "considering" before he said yes.**

**Jerk.**

**I forget the name of the place we're going, but Duo is familiar with it.**

**For some reason he's been giggling inanely ever since he found out where we were going, though. He won't tell me why.**

**In a way, I regret that we won't be having our traditional little Christmas get together, but... we kind of had it last night. And I'm looking forward to hanging out with my coworkers. I mean, we've been Preventers for seven years. We've been here since the beginning, almost. It's about time we made some friends around the office.**

**Oops, it's time to get going!**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa took a sip of his beer and grinned at his friends. Duo was involved in a passionate argument about the engine of the latest Mercedes model with Jack from payroll and Elaine, an active agent. He was leaning back far enough in his chair that he could keep his hand on Trowa's thigh beneath the table, though. Quatre was discussing politics with Une, who Trowa had also been surprised to see tonight. She hadn't arrived until the rest of the party had been there a while, having waited until Mariemaya was asleep before coming out. But apparently she came to the party every year. Trowa was slightly embarrassed to realize he'd never thought about whom Une would spend Christmas with. He'd always liked the woman, even when she was crazy.

He seemed to like crazy people.

Heero was not having quite as good a time as everyone else was. He was frowning into his glass of water, steadfastly ignoring Wufei's teasing. The Chinese man had tired of Quatre's conversation with Une, and turned his attention to tormenting Heero.

It turned out that the restaurant, which was actually a bar and grill type place, had a karaoke machine.

Heero had not had so much as a beer all evening.

All in all, it had been an enjoyable night. Trowa's conversation with Ken had ended when the young man had been dragged off by his date to sing a duet. Trowa was glad to see Ken had apparently gotten over Quatre quite easily once past his initial hero worship. The young agent was laughing happily up on the stage with his arm around the slutty blond chick from accounting. Whose name was Francine, and who really wasn't that slutty, but just dressed that way.

Trowa had refrained from mentioning Wufei's name in their conversation. Ken and Francine were happy tonight, so what else mattered?

A particularly loud snarl from Heero drew Trowa's attention back to the Japanese man. Wufei, apparently realizing he'd reached the limits of Heero's low tolerance for mockery, had his hands up in a placating gesture and was backing off. Heero glowered at him a moment, then turned back to his water.

"What's wrong with him?" Duo asked, leaning back and draping himself over Trowa to get close enough to be heard. Trowa tolerated the public display with a smile, and replied, "Wufei's been teasing him about the karaoke machine."

"Someday, Wufei is gonna get himself killed," Duo declared. He remained in his position, half-lying across Trowa's chest, and stared thoughtfully at Heero for a moment. Finally, he sighed, and said reluctantly, "Well, I guess I have to go make an ass of myself."

"What?" Trowa asked, confused.

Duo tilted his head back to smile up at Trowa. "I have to go do something dumb, to give Wufei a new target. Heero really hates being teased, because he doesn't know how to deal with it. He'll relax if I get Wu to tease me instead."

"Well... what are you going to do?" Trowa asked warily. He didn't bother to ask why Duo would be willing to make a fool of himself to spare Heero's feelings. He didn't need to ask.

"Hmm... perhaps a song," Duo mused, grinning at the currently empty karaoke stage.

"If you serenade me with some cheesy eighties love ballad, I'll kill you," Trowa warned him.

"Understood," Duo replied, laughing. He levered himself off of Trowa and onto his feet, then threaded his way to the stage, beginning to scan through the machine's list of songs. Wufei noticed Duo's activity and looked on with interest, an evil gleam in his eye. After a few moments, the American made his selection and tapped the microphone experimentally.

"Is this thing on?" Duo asked, drawing attention and cheers from all around the room. Heero's head jerked up in surprise and he turned to stare at Duo as well.

Duo waved to his audience. "Thank you, thank you, you're too kind," he told them. "For my first number, since I've been forbidden from sappy love ballads," he paused for the collective expression of regret from the crowd. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... But anyway, I thought maybe something in keeping with the season would be appropriate. This is one of my favorite Christmas songs... "

The music came up, and some members of the audience apparently recognized the song, because they began laughing before Duo even opened his mouth.

Up on stage, Duo swayed his hips to the beat in a disturbingly feminine manner. He batted his eyelashes and sang in a slightly pouty tone.

"Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me  
I've been an awful good girl  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight... "

There was loud groaning throughout the restaurant as everyone recognized the song, and scattered laughter when Duo didn't change "girl" to "boy." The "girl" on stage gave an extra shake of his hips in response. Trowa was laughing along with everyone else, and Heero was watching raptly.

"Santa baby, a 54 convertible too, light blue  
I'll wait up for you dear  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight... "

Duo was getting into the act now, slinking across the stage as he sang.

"Think of all the fun I've missed  
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed  
Next year I could be oh so good  
If you'd check off my Christmas list  
Boo doo bee doo... "

Duo jumped off the stage and began wandering around the floor, mock-flirting with coworkers who were, for the most part, red-faced with laughter. He stroked chins and bumped hips as he continued singing.

"Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's  
Not a lot  
I've been an angel all year  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight...   
Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed  
To a platinum mine  
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight... "

By this point, Duo had reached Heero, and he paused there, winking at the Japanese man before he turned and shook his fanny in Heero's surprised face. This got another big laugh from the room at large. Trowa felt a twinge of momentary jealousy, but then Duo sashayed over to him and sat on his lap for a moment before making his way back to the stage.

"Santa baby, fill my stocking with a duplex, and checks  
Sign your 'X' on the line  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
Come and trim my Christmas tree  
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's  
I really do believe in you  
Let's see if you believe in me  
Boo doo bee doo... "

By the time Duo got back on the stage, half the room was singing along with him, and Heero was smiling happily.

"Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring  
I don't mean on the phone  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
Hurry down the chimney tonight  
Hurry down the chimney tonight!"

As Duo concluded his song, the room erupted with applause and catcalls, to which Duo cheerfully called back. Trowa smiled at the American hamming it up, flushed with pleasure at being the center of attention. Quatre was hugging Wufei while the Chinese man yelled something at the stage, grinning mischievously. Heero had gotten up and walked over to the stage. Duo knelt down to talk to the Japanese man, and Trowa saw the American laugh and smile at whatever Heero had to say.

Trowa glanced over at Une beside him, to see her looking around the room with a gentle smile on her face. She caught him looking and the smile widened.

"Treize would be pleased... to see you all so happy, now," she said.

Trowa didn't know if that were true or not, but the thought seemed to make her happy, so he smiled and nodded in reply.

"Hey, guys! Get your butts up here!" Duo called, using the microphone. Trowa looked to the stage in surprise, and saw Heero kneeling beside Duo, fiddling with the karaoke machine. Duo was grinning, waving at Trowa, Quatre and Wufei, summoning them to the stage. They all looked at each other in surprise, and some trepidation. "Come on, guys!" Duo yelled again.

The three former pilots looked up at Duo warily. Duo planted a fist on his hip and demanded, "What's the matter, you chicken, Wupert?"

"Maxwell! Kisama!" Wufei bellowed, jumping out of his seat amidst the laughter of the audience. Duo just laughed at the blushing Chinese man as he advanced on the stage. Quatre hurried after Wufei, and Trowa sighed, shrugged, and followed.

By the time Trowa reached the stage, Wufei was sulking, being soothed by Quatre. Duo was smirking triumphantly at the Chinese man, and Heero was still messing with the machine.

"What's going on?" Trowa asked, trying to surreptitiously shift behind Duo. He didn't like being up here. He was accustomed to performing in front of a crowd, but... not performing karaoke.

Duo grinned happily at him. "We're gonna sing together!" he declared cheerfully.

"Uh... no?" Trowa attempted to deny. Duo pouted at him. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'm really not much of a singer," he complained.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Duo said confidently, waving his hand in dismissal of Trowa's qualms. "With all of us singing, nobody will be able to tell. Especially not with Heero in the group," he added in a whisper, grinning.

"What are we singing?" Trowa asked warily.

"Just watch the prompter," Duo told him, walking over to check Heero's progress. The Japanese man nodded at Duo and stood, smiling slightly.

"All right!" Duo yelled into the microphone, drawing everyone's attention again. "Now, this next song... all my good friends here are going to sing with me, cuz it's kind of our theme song, if you know what I mean. Well, you probably don't, and they probably don't either, but they're humoring me, so just enjoy the show," he advised, grinning. The crowd, already worked up from Duo's last song, cheered happily.

An almost familiar bouncy beat started up, and Trowa frowned, trying to place the song as Duo stepped to the front of the little group. He glanced over his shoulder and demanded, "You guys _are_ going to sing with me, right?" The other four men exchanged looks varying from resignation to amusement to confusion to excitement. Wufei was resigned, Quatre excited, Heero amused, and Trowa confused. Duo shook his head at the whole bunch of them and launched into the first verse alone.

"We've had some fun,  
And yes we've had our ups and downs  
Been down that rocky road,  
But here we are, still around  
Thought about someone else,  
But neither one could debate  
Thought about breaking up,  
But now we know it's much too late... "

Trowa finally recognized the song as the chorus approached. Setting aside his pride, he joined Duo at the microphone and started singing.

"We are bound by all the rest  
Like the same phone number  
All the same friends  
And the same address... "

As if he had given some signal by participating, Trowa abruptly realized the other ex-pilots had gathered around the microphone, too. They had to throw arms over one another's shoulders and huddle tightly for all of them to get close to the microphone, and laughter and nerves reduced their little chorus to a discordant caterwauling, but... they were having fun.

"Yes, it's true,  
I'm happy to be stuck with you  
Yes, it's true,  
I'm happy to be stuck with you  
Because I can see  
That you're happy to be stuck with me... "

Caught up in the enthusiasm with which the five men were attacking the song, the audience of Preventers cheered along despite the horrible noise coming from the speakers. Trowa found he didn't care how bad they sounded. He was surrounded by his friends, laughing and smiling... they were together on Christmas, happy and healthy and making complete fools of themselves. He dimly recalled writing about this song in his journal a long time ago, but he hadn't understood it then. Standing here now with his arm draped around Duo and someone else's arm wrapped around his waist, he realized he _was_ happy to be stuck with them.

His weird, crazy friends. He kissed Duo's cheek lightly and launched into the next verse.

"We've had our doubts,  
But we never took them seriously  
And we've had our ins and outs,  
But that's the way it's supposed to be  
Thought about giving up,  
But we could never stay away  
Thought about breaking up,  
But now we know it's much too late  
And it's no great mystery  
If we change our minds  
Eventually, it's back to you and me... "

***~*~*~*~***

**What a night. We didn't get back here until almost eleven, and now it's nearly midnight. Duo and I opened our presents when we got back. I got a nice dark green shirt (apparently Duo likes to play dress up with his boyfriends), a very old book of Dorothy Parker poems (my favorite ­ how did he know that?), a few other odds and ends... and a small bound diary, with a lock on the cover. He said he picked it up during lunch today for a gag. I opened it up and found a little message on the first page.**

**"Heero can't hack into this one. But I can pick the lock. Merry Christmas! Love, Duo"**

**So I'm trying it out.**

**I'm not too worried about Duo actually picking the little lock. He respects my privacy.**

**He seemed pleased with his presents. I got him red satin pajamas and a new quote-a-day calendar, and some books and other things.**

**And I got him a little stuffed lion for his desk.**

**He loved it.**

**So anyway, I'm siting here waiting for him to find some mysterious last present he has for me. He's been looking for it for a while now. He hid it in my bedroom for some reason.**

**It's getting kind of late, though, so maybe I'll go see if I can help him find it.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa set his new diary aside and stood up, stretching as he walked over to the open door of his bedroom. He paused in the doorway in surprise when he saw Duo stretched out on the bed, playing with a red bow.

"Duo?" he asked in confusion.

Duo looked up at him and grinned. "I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to come and check on me," he said.

Trowa cocked his head. "I thought you were looking for my present," he said slowly.

"Found it," Duo informed him brightly.

"Well... where is it?" Trowa asked, stepping into the room and over to the bed. Duo sat up as Trowa sat down. They faced each other, Duo smiling brightly, Trowa grinning hesitantly back.

"Well, before I give it to you, I just want you to know that it's completely returnable, if you don't like it, or... it doesn't... fit, or anything," Duo stated firmly.

Trowa just waited, wondering at that little speech.

"Okay," Duo said nervously. He pulled the paper backing off the little sticky pad on the bow, and stuck it on his head. "Merry Christmas," he said, smiling uncertainly.

Trowa stared at him in surprise for a moment.

"This was a much better idea in my head," Duo decided, blushing slightly and reaching up to pull off the bow.

"Hey," Trowa said, grabbing the shorter man's wrist before he could remove the ribbon. Duo looked at him with wide eyes. Trowa frowned reproachfully. "You're _my_ present. That means _I_ get to unwrap you," Trowa declared, smiling slightly.

Duo grinned widely in reply, letting his hand fall back to his side as Trowa released it.

"And I like to unwrap my presents... carefully," Trowa continued softly, leaning in and slowly beginning to unbutton Duo's shirt. As he parted the buttons, he pulled the fabric aside and gently kissed Duo's warm skin.

Duo shivered at the contact, and murmured softly, "Come on, Tro, you're killing me here."

"Hmm... not yet," Trowa replied, tugging the shirt out of Duo's pants and slipping it off his shoulders. "But I'll get to that," he promised, leaning forward to bite gently at the base of Duo's neck. Duo rolled his head back, exposing his throat completely, but Trowa pulled back again, concentrating on removing Duo's belt and opening his pants. "My, my," he murmured as he drew the zipper down to the accompaniment of Duo's moans, "batteries included, I see."

"Energizers," Duo assured him breathlessly, as Trowa tried to work his pants off without brushing too much against the hard bulge in Duo's boxer shorts. "I can go all night," Duo purred, suddenly thrusting his hips forward and pressing himself hard against Trowa's hand.

"Plenty of time to take things slow, then," Trowa murmured, pulling his hand away and taking advantage of Duo's position to work the pants lower.

Duo grunted in irritation and collapsed backwards on the bed. "You can just rip the wrapping off, you know," he prompted Trowa.

"I like to take my time," Trowa assured him. "Savor the experience."

"You're gonna savor a beating if you don't hurry it up," Duo growled.

"Patience is a virtue," Trowa reminded him piously.

Duo laughed aloud. "Well, I'm better known for my vices than my virtues," he pointed out. "Vices are more fun," he added, raising his head to smirk at Trowa suggestively.

Trowa looked up the expanse of unwrapped Duo, and with a sigh, gave up the fight. He all but tore off Duo's boxers and his own clothes, then fell into the American's waiting arms, kissing Duo passionately, almost hard enough to bruise as their bodies rubbed against one another, burning with a passion that couldn't be denied much longer.

It went much too fast, all in a blur, but it was still wonderful. Duo wrapped him in warmth and gentle caresses, and Trowa covered the American's smooth skin with kisses. It didn't take either of them long to find their release, and then Trowa was hovering above Duo, supported by arms that trembled with fatigue as he stared raptly into the familiar handsome face.

Duo stared back up at Trowa, violet eyes soft and warm as he smiled, a sweet, almost innocent smile with just a hint of Duo's trademark wicked grin.

"God, Trowa... I love you," Duo murmured softly in amazement.

Trowa felt an answering smile on his own lips. Duo made a soft noise at the sight, his eyes misting over. "I love you, too," Trowa assured him. "I've... never been so happy," he admitted, slightly surprised to realize it.

"Good. That's what I wanted. I wanted to make you happy," Duo whispered.

Trowa leaned down and kissed Duo softly. "And you? Are you happy, Duo?" he murmured against Duo's mouth.

"I'm... ecstatic," Duo informed him quietly.

"Good," Trowa murmured. "So you had a nice Christmas?"

"Best one ever," Duo agreed.

"So far," Trowa corrected with a smile. He reached out and shut off the light, then lowered himself beside Duo.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Much later, Trowa lay in bed with Duo curled against his chest, asleep. Trowa stared out the small window. For once, he'd left the blinds up and he could see the streetlight outside. He thought back over the events of the past weeks, and how much had changed, for him, and the people around him. Some changes were subtle, others... were not. But all of the changes, they had weathered together. The five of them.

 _Me and my crazy weird friends. My wonderful friends. My... my family_ , Trowa thought to himself, smiling gently. _I **am** happy to be stuck with them. I don't know what I'd do without them. What I'd do... without you_ , he thought, looking down at Duo's sleeping face. _But I don't have to find out, do I?_

He brushed a lock of hair off Duo's forehead and looked out the window again. A soft snow glittered in the light of the streetlamp.

_I'm a lucky man._

_I love my life._


	14. Chapter 14

1/7/205

***~*~*~*~***

**Hmm, it's been a few days since I wrote in my journal here. I've been using the diary Duo got me for Christmas. Things have been going well for us.**

**Okay, things have been goddamn fantastic, and I don't think Quatre and I ever had this much sex in seven whole years of a relationship. Well, that may be a slight exaggeration. But only a slight one.**

**Anyway... things have settled down around the office. Ken is still dating Francine. I wish them luck. I am suffering from that particular sort of selfishness that afflicts the blissfully happy, making us want everyone around us to be as contented as we are, so we can just float in this ecstatic pink bubble of diabetes-inducing euphoria.**

**Heero is the only dark spot in our blithe existence.**

**Poor Heero. He's holding up well, but he always does. I can tell Duo is worried about him, though. But it's Duo's job to worry about Heero, because in a lot of ways, he knows him better than the rest of us do.**

**But since it's now MY job to worry about Duo, I find myself drawn into the Heero problem...**

**The problem being, as I had worked out a while ago, Heero is the odd man out. I guess somebody has to be, since there are five of us, and nobody seems interested in a threesome. Wufei never seemed to mind being alone too much, but according to Duo, he really did mind. I guess I can understand that. To be part of our group, but not especially close to any of us would be a special kind of loneliness.**

**And damn it, I don't want anybody to be lonely anymore! Especially not one of my best friends!**

**But more than any of the rest of us, Heero just couldn't forge a relationship with somebody outside the group. So what can we do?**

**Oh, I have to go now. Something's going on.**

***~*~*~*~***

Trowa closed his journal file and sat up in his chair, craning his neck to see what was going on that had half the office clustered around Une's door.

As soon as he looked over, though, the crowd abruptly broke and scattered like a flock of startled crows. By the time the door of Une's office swung open, everyone was back at their desks, or at least well-concealed behind rented shrubbery and water coolers.

Zechs Marquise stepped into the main office.

Trowa blinked in surprise at the tall, grim-faced blond as he strode purposefully through the maze of desks. Wasn't Zechs... or Milliard... or Wind... whoever he was today, supposed to be on Mars?

With Noin?

"Zechs! Long time no see!" Duo declared cheerfully. He had been among the crowd at the door, but hadn't made it all the way back to his desk before Zechs' entry. Zechs paused and smiled hesitantly at the shorter man, as if he'd almost forgotten how to form the expression.

"Duo Maxwell," he greeted solemnly. "It has, indeed, been some time."

"So what's new on Mars?" Duo asked, grabbing Zechs' arm like an old friend and beginning to lead him forward.

Zechs frowned slightly, whether at the contact or the question, Trowa wasn't sure. But he let Duo drag him through the desks as he replied, "Well, the terraforming is going well. Noin's been promoted now, and she'll have more time to focus on her work with me on Earth."

"Oh?" Duo asked pointedly, raising his eyebrows at Zechs.

Zechs grimaced and straightened his crisply starched uniform shirt as Duo released his hand. "Yes, well... Noin and I... didn't work out."

"Really," Duo murmured thoughtfully. He took a stack of files from under Zechs' arm and tossed them on the desk they'd stopped beside. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Zechs."

"It's all right," Zechs assured him. "Neither of us was happy. We just didn't have that much in common, I suppose."

"Imagine that," Duo murmured sympathetically. "You two always seemed so... compatible."

"Yes, well," Zechs said brusquely, "I'd rather not discuss it, if you don't mind."

"Oh, I don't mind at all," Duo assured him. "You just have a seat and get all settled in... It's great to have you back here on Earth. And if you have any problems or questions or anything, just ask your neighbor there." Duo pointed to the occupant of the desk next to the one he'd seated Zechs at.

Heero scowled back at them both.

"Heero," Zechs said, one corner of his mouth quirking upwards slightly.

"Zechs," Heero replied flatly.

As Zechs slid into his seat, still staring at his "neighbor", Duo scooted away and down the aisle, grabbing Trowa as he passed and dragging the taller man out of his chair and all the way to the break room.

There was a large group of people gathered in the tiny room, but they parted as Duo and Trowa entered, to reveal Wufei seated at the small table, a chart of some kind laid out before him. It was covered with boxes and numbers. Wufei looked up at Duo expectantly, Quatre hovering nervously over his shoulder.

Duo smirked at them and declared dryly, "Ninmu kanryou."

Everyone in the room broke into smiles as Duo walked forward to lean over the table. As Trowa watched in confusion, his lover pulled a crumpled bill from his pocket and slapped it down on the chart.

"Twenty bucks on one week," Duo announced.

Wufei raised an eyebrow. "Pretty long odds, Maxwell," he cautioned.

"I have the soul of a gambler," Duo stated.

"And the sense," Wufei couldn't help adding, but he accepted the money and made a mark on the chart. "All right, gentlemen, place your bets!" he called.

Duo made his way back over to Trowa, grinning happily as the rest of the room's occupants closed ranks around the table, shouting and waving money.

"What are you all betting on?" Trowa asked, having a bad feeling he knew the answer.

"How long it'll take for Zechs and Heero to give in to years of repressed sexual tension," Duo responded brightly.

Trowa just stared at him for a moment. Then he said slowly, "You're serious. Heero... and Zechs?"

"Um-hmm," Duo murmured, nodding.

Trowa shook his head. "You realize you're all insane," he remarked.

Duo grinned and shrugged. "You wouldn't have us any other way," he crooned, rising on tiptoe to kiss Trowa on the chin. "Now I gotta go watch over my investment," he declared, trotting back out into the office.

Trowa just shook his head, watching Duo go.

"Barton!" Wufei called. "Are you betting or not?"

"Are you kidding?" Trowa called back incredulously. He stuck a hand in his pocket and pulled out a bill of his own. "Of course I am."

~~~~~And they all lived happily ever after... ~~~~~


End file.
